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Growing Yourself Back Up Paperback – January 23, 2001

4.9 out of 5 stars 47 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Someone pushes your buttons . . . you feel rage . . . fear . . . sweaty palms . . . unbidden tears . . . you feel like a kid . . .
We've all experienced moments when we lose control of a situation and ourselves. Now, in "Growing Yourself Back Up, the first book to explain the idea of emotional regression to the general reader, bestselling author John Lee identifies the circumstances that cause these seemingly uncontrollable feelings and shows how they are directly tied to our experience as children.
No adult, explains Lee, need ever experience the helpless feelings of childhood again. Here are his proven methods and visualization exercises, developed in his popular workshops, for recognizing, preventing, and diffusing regression in ourselves and others. He teaches, for example, that adults cannot be abandoned, they can only be left; if we're feeling abandoned we're regressing. He also reminds us that no matter how overwhelmed we are, adults always have options; if we believe we don't, we're in a regression.
"Growing Yourself Back Up will show you how to:
* develop strong emotional boundaries and convey them to others
* learn the Detour Method that reverses regression
* confront without regressing
* communicate with the authority figures who push your buttons
* minimize regression at family functions
Lee offers hope--as well as practical strategies that work--for conquering those childlike feelings of powerlessness that are almost always rooted in regression.

About the Author

John Lee is the author of the bestselling Flying Boy series, as well as Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately and Writing from the Body. He lives in Woodstock, Georgia, with his wife, Susan, and conducts workshops around the country.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Harmony; 1 edition (January 23, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0609806416
  • ISBN-13: 978-0609806418
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.5 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (47 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #62,874 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By A Customer on August 28, 2001
Format: Paperback
Having been trained in psychology, I am familiar with theories of regression. John Lee brings this concept down to such a practical and real level that I found myself changing without even trying. If you are stuck in patterns of behavior that you know aren't helping, this should provide some real understanding of how to get unstuck. Even my wife of 32 years has commented on the changes in me. I am buying 2 more copies, to give to my adult children. I hope they don't have to be stuck as long as I was.
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Format: Paperback
Attention, empathy, time, touch and release. These are the five things that John Lee explains will bring you back from regression. These things ring true from my experience. When I'm willing to take a risk, be present, connect with people and let go of old junk I don't get sucked into old family patterns. "Growing Yourself Back Up" is a wonderful book, committed to helping us all spend more time in the here and now and less time in the trances of our past. This book is chock full of tips and techniques for coming back from the past and being present now. It highlights the traps that send us off into regression and gives strategies on how to avoid falling into them. There's quite helpful information about how to confront others while minimizing the risk you'll get verbally abused.
While the information in this book is not rocket science or new technology, it does provide a nice summary of common sense be-in-the-moment assertiveness techniques.
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Format: Paperback
After many years of study on conflict and peace-making , I was amazed by the usefulness and wonderful information packed into this small book in a readable, easy-to-understand style. This book has lead to more positive life changes than any other book I have encountered. Both my husband and I read it in one afternoon and have used what we learned everyday since and have shared it with many others. A must-read for any person who would like more understanding of interactions with other people and better relationships in all areas of life.
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Growing Yourself Back Up by John Lee
I stumbled upon this book by accident; some Men that I know asked if I could go hear a talk with the author. I was busy, so I declined and the flyer of his talk, long lost now, encouraged me to look the author up. I'd forgotten the topic of the flyer, but this book captivated me quickly.

This book was a small and bearable read, meaning the personal work, for me did not seem so emotionally intense. Regression is the reaction we have when something happening in the present triggers a memory in our bodies about something that happened in the past. One of the largest themes was that Adults have choice, where as children we did not. If the triggers are right, adults can be right back in the mind of their prior childhood reacting to the world and feeling helpless with no way out.

John introduces the red flags of regression which are irritations, hurts, and reactions that just sort of pop out all the sudden leaving us shamed, blamed, demeaned, demoralized, criticized, analyzed, preached and taught. One of the takeaways is that if you are the one who is shaming, blaming, demeaning, demoralizing, criticizing, analyzing, preaching, and teaching, you are already regressed. Moving all of these out of the way there is little more to say and take responsibility for is that you are angry.

The causes are many and simple, hence as sentient beings we are in a sense always in some manifestation of regression. For me, the primary Physical symptom is being hungry, but too exhausted for me to fix something to eat. The primary Psychological symptom is loneliness. The solutions are also simple, and do take work on your part.
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Format: Paperback
I could not put this book down it was so good. The idea that adults could, unknowingly, revert back to their childhood during stressfull situations was an eye-opener to me. I saw myself being described in the pages, as I read. I have personally come through a very challenging time in my work as a teacher. I was crying a lot in school due to the behaviour of other adults there. 'Growing yourself back up' helped me to identify the reasons behind my regression and also gave me strategies to help me to break free. John Lee writes in an 'easy to understand' way and he does give the reader hope. I highly recommend this book. If you feel like you have no control over situations in your life, read this book, it could help you to escape from those invisible emotional ties left over from your childhood days.
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Excellent; excellent book. First of all, it's the most laymen-friendly book regarding this kind of topic I've ever read. It's not intimidating, aloof or lecturing...in fact, it reads as if you were having a casual discussion with a long-time friend. Second; The examples actually reflect what the author is describing and come from real-life situations - thus, making it far easier for the reader to integrate the knowledge into their own life. Finally, and most importantly; by the time you finish, you come to understand how huge a role regression can play in whatever your personal issues may be - whether it's involves relationships, communication, work-related, or self-image. I had always felt comfortable with my knowledge of this topic, and how it may have affected me, but this allowed me to frame my thoughts in such a way that I'm now converting many of the discussions into exercises to help me get a grip on all of those "demons" which have plauged me all my life. So, while this may not truly amount to "the only self-help book you'll ever really need", if you read this first, all of the others will surely make a lot more sense!
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