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Guts: The Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster

Guts: The Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster

byJohnston, Kristen
Format: HardcoverChange
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Ronnizoom
5.0 out of 5 stars More than a memoir, a journey into an addicts soul
September 22, 2013
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
There were two parts of the book in particular that made me shudder with recognition.
The first is where she describes witnessing her brothers bullying.
With no means of voicing her feelings, she violently lashes out at one of his tormentors.
Describing this as one of her many `ill advised decisions.' I felt it was actually a truthful reaction to extraordinary pain. She had no other way to express how she felt but violence.
Her feelings were demanding a release.
This type of irrational, compulsive behavior is `normal' in someone who has learnt to protect their inner world, by building a wall around themselves.
It should therefor come as no surprise that this little girl grew up to become addicted to `pain pills' as an adult. It was inevitable that she was going to find a way to numb the pain of feelings, she could never dare express.

The second incident that touched me, is when the first crack in her wall begins to show. Johnston has been admitted to a hospital in England for life saving surgery, when her intestines literally burst from all the drugs she had been taking. Because she is in so much pain and can barely move, she has to ask a nurse to help her wash her hair.
As an adult, she realizes this is the first time she has ever asked anyone for help.
Ever.
By this point in the book, her loneliness and isolation are palpable, and the simple act, of another human being tenderly washing her, is almost heart breaking.
It's clear that Johnston has never let anyone in and the sheer thought of it terrifies her.

The reason this book should be compelling reading for any addict or alcoholic, is just how much Johnston reveals of the inner life of an addict.
She rightfully claims to being completely unoriginal in her feelings and behavior, her experience of addiction is just like anyone else's.
Addicts will do anything to prevent anyone seeing who they really are, they will fight tooth and nail to defend the wall they have built around themselves. Johnston is certainly no different.

Like many addicts Johnston paints a picture of determined self-reliance. Believing she can just power through anything with her grit and determination. Unwilling and unable to face up to her reality, I believe it was no coincidence that her body finally forces her to see what her mind refuses to.
Thousands of miles away from home, friends and family; unable to work, she could do nothing but stare at the ceiling and contemplate how things have ended up this way.
Too weak to fight and with no distractions, the wall she had built around herself slowly begins to crack.

"I suppose I was also grieving for the loss of the unfeeling, jokey, impenetrable me."

Inevitably when that wall cracks; grief, loss and loneliness flood in. Johnston shares all of this with the reader. Then, for someone who has determinedly hidden her true self from the world, she begins to discover who she really is, for the very first time. Vulnerable, scared and very lost she begins the journey back to herself.
The miracle of recovery is, that despite everything we have believed about ourselves, who we really are is glorious. We don't need to hide or be alone anymore; who we really are is just fine. This book convinces you that if Kristen Johnston can discover this, then so can you.
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Deanokat
TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICE
5.0 out of 5 stars Honest, Sobering, and Hilarious
August 21, 2013
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
In the interest of full disclosure: I am the father of a recovering addict.

During the last several years, I've read more books about addiction than I can remember. Scientific books, self-help books, memoirs, books about rehabs, etc. If there's a book out there about addiction, chances are I've read it. Or it's on a bookshelf waiting for me to read it because my wife and I have our own little addiction library at home.

The other day, on a day off from work, I finished reading one of the better memoirs I've read. In fact, I read the entire book in one sitting, which is unheard of for me. (I'm a pretty slow reader. I'm a perfectionist and I like to read slowly so I make sure I don't miss anything. It's a sickness, really.)

The book that had me hooked right from the Foreword--and made me spend most of my day off on the family room couch--is "GUTS: The Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster" by Kristen Johnston.

Johnston is an actress who is probably best known for her Emmy Award-winning portrayal of Sally Solomon in the late-'90s/early '00s comedy series 3rd Rock from the Sun. She currently stars as Holly Franklin in the TV Land comedy The Exes. She's also a recovering addict.

GUTS is an incredibly honest, sobering (pun intended), and hilarious memoir. Hilarious in parts for sure, thanks to Johnston's wicked sense of self-deprecating humor. But the book is very serious, too. After all, addiction in and of itself isn't really funny.

One of the most serious and honest parts of the book takes place while Johnston is hospitalized in England on New Year's eve 2006:

"....I heard a loud bang. Because I'm from New York City, I almost ignored it, assuming it was just someone being murdered. Then, out of the corner of my eye, a burst of orange. I looked up from my bed out the window, and I saw the most glorious, enormous splashes of color lighting up the skyline. Fireworks! I could even hear the 'oohs' and the 'aahs' floating up from the celebrating crowd.

To this day I don't know exactly why, but for some mysterious reason, this was the moment that sanity finally chose to break through the madness that had held me in its iron grip for so many years. With no warning, I was struck by this thought:

There are people in that crowd who are looking at the same fireworks I am right this very second who are STONE COLD SOBER. There are people in that crowd who don't feel the need to touch the back pocket of their jeans constantly to make sure the six pills are still there. There are people in that crowd who are simply enjoying the spectacle, without wondering if they have one refill left at the pharmacy, or if they would have to call yet another doctor. There are people out there RIGHT NOW who are with their loved ones and are just happy to be alive.

Grief overwhelmed me. True, real sorrow not for me, but for finally seeing the truth of what I was. A selfish, self-serving, loathsome creature who did nothing to better the world. I finally truly felt the weight of all the pain I had caused, all the tears that had been wasted on me, all the gifts that had been given to me that I had just carelessly frittered away, and all of the thousands of hours I had spent obsessing about something as ridiculous, boring, and stupid as me.

I don't want this life anymore, I thought. I can't bear who I've become."

---------------------------------------

That's some powerful stuff, isn't it?

So is this, which is my favorite passage from the book:

"I knew that I needed to start accepting that I was me--and I needed to do it pronto--because life, it is short. And the very notion of spending the rest of my life still desperately wishing I was anyone but me? Unacceptable."

Take it from me: GUTS is a book you'll start reading and won't be able to put down. And when you're finished with it, you'll admire the hell out of Kristen Johnston for putting her addiction, her life, and her soul "out there" for everyone to see. And for helping to break the stigma associated with addiction. ("I believe, without a doubt, that the shame and secrecy that shroud the disease are just as deadly as the disease itself," she says in the book's Epilogue.)

It should also be pointed out that Kristen has donated a portion of the book's proceeds to SLAM (Sobriety Learning And Motivation), a group she formed that is dedicated to starting the first sober high school in New York City/New York State. You can learn more about SLAM at SLAMNYC.org.
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carpoozie22
5.0 out of 5 stars What a story
November 4, 2019
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
If you are a fan of 3rd rock from the Sun (as my family is) you won't read a lot about the show in the book. You will read about the background story of "Sally", from the lessons she learned about bullying and being bullied as a kid, to the fact that she resents and references to her height (I think it is an asset many women would envy) to her "secret addiction", and the resulting horrible experience that almost cost her her life. She is very critical of herself, perhaps too much so at times, maybe deservedly a few other times. She is s gutsy talented actress, and I am glad that she survived to write her book.
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carl ND
5.0 out of 5 stars Brutal Honesty, guts of truth
October 9, 2014
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
I am not much of a Hollywood Bio reader. I read this book because Ms. Johnston, has Lupus. I have Lupus, and run an online support community for people with this disease.

That said, this book is a must read. Full of grit, raw emotion, brutal self-deprecating honesty, and so much more. I was enthralled with the book from the beginning, and it just got better the more I read.

I have never read a book where the medical community was described with such succinct brilliance. I have never been to England, but do have doctors that call England home, and the descriptions are all spot on. Thank you Kristen for putting it out there like you did.

Brutal honesty.

And seriously? the title is perfect for this book. Now to read it again so I can pick up all of the nuances that I missed the first time.
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Jodi Chapters
5.0 out of 5 stars Balls to The Wall Memoir!
September 5, 2012
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
Guts: The Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster

Kristen Johnston has written a candidly open and honest book about her triumph over addiction. I was in awe as I read the events that compounded on her psyche until her only escape became drugs and alcohol. I knew Kristen had a story to tell but wasn't prepared for the emotion that jumped from the page in the laying bare of her life. I found myself wanting to be Kristen's protector, ass-kicker and biggest supporter at various times throughout the book.

Within the pages of "GUTS" Kristen regales us with her now famous sharp tongued wit as she retells the story of coming-of-age as an "outsider" in school, to finding her outlet in comedic acting. She shares the torment and bullying that unfortunately has become a rite of passage in most of our educational institutions.

When Kristen outlines the course of her addiction to drugs and alcohol, I, being someone who is at best addicted to coffee and a great pair of shoes, had absolutely no idea how quickly something that starts out as a social drink can become a puddle of quicksand that can drag you in over your head with nothing to hold onto.

To say Kristen had a fall from grace would be crass. To have lived through what could have been the end of her life, and frankly our loss, and surface on the other side determined to break her addictions and claim back her life is nothing short of a triumph. She doesn't candy coat the process or make it movie of the week pg rated. She tells it like it is making no apologies and owning up to her mistakes.

Kristen has actually written this book. She hasn't stood behind the shoulders of a ghost-writer watching them do all the work and taking the credit. She dug in her heals and pulled every detail from her GUTS good and bad. I have to say the woman has balls of steel and I applaud her for writing a book that anyone who addiction has touched needs to read.
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Rosi H.
5.0 out of 5 stars YES!!! She has GUTS!!!
June 7, 2013
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
When I was back at work, I used to finish at least one book a week, but since I took my early retirement on 7/5/10, I have not been able to sit through a book and read it start to finish without it taking FOREVER. I'm happy to say that I just finished reading Kristen Johnston's book, "Guts: The Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster" and it is the first book that was able to keep my attention in a few years. I thought I lost the ability, but she helped me see that I just needed the "right" book. Kristen Johnston really truly has guts to share her story of addiction and recovery & she does it all with humor that makes the difficult sections easier to read because of the "comic relief".

Heck, "comic relief" was how my family, including my mom, made it through her illnesses and her eventual passing. If we didn't have some laughter in there, like my mom saying to a handsome doctor, "If I need mouth to mouth...I want it from you!" I don't think I would have survived emotionally, so I appreciate Kristen's honesty and sense of humor. I'd have to say that my favorite passage from the book was a paragraph about how she felt after she shared "Her Story" at a 12 Step meeting:

"But that one hour changed my life more than anything else ever has, because it was the moment I finally understood that NEVER EVER AGAIN WILL I ACCEPT THAT SOMEONE ELSE'S REALITY IS MINE, JUST TO MAKE THEM HAPPY." (The all CAPS were hers.)

That paragraph resonates with me, because I spent many good years worrying about if everyone else was happy, instead of being concerned for my own happiness and having come to that realization really late in the game (like at age 50!!!) was a real blessing indeed. I highly recommend the book if you're into books that are rigorously honest & inspirational and yet at moments very dark, desperate and lonely with humor wrapped around it like a big beautiful bow. She's an awesome actress AND writer! YAY for Kristen!!! :)
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Sue Pazur
5.0 out of 5 stars Surprisingly good!
April 9, 2014
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
Kristen Johnston is a very good writer and her book is brutally honest and engaging. She doesn't waste a lot of time telling stories of benders and blackouts. Rather, she explains why she is an addict and the insights that got her and have kept her sober. Although I don't abuse drugs or alcohol, Kristen's helpful honesty caused me to look at my own habits and personality in a very useful way. I find myself thinking twice/three times/more about why I do what I do and say what I say. I didn't expect this to be a "self-help" book, but I think that I am becoming a stronger and more honest person after reading this. Also surprising was reading the gorgeous Kristen thinks of herself as a somewhat unattractive "freak". My heart broke for her reading about her stay in a London hospital, so far from her home and family and friends.

So many celebrities write books in order to brag and gossip about their interactions with other celebrities. Kristen's book is not that! Although I was expecting and a little disappointed that she didn't go into detail about some of the actors she has worked with, John Lithgow in particular, I got so much more from her story than I expected. Days after finishing, I find myself still reflecting on things she wrote, and I may even go back and read it again.
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Michael J. McKenzieTop Contributor: Camping
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing. Brave. Powerful.
August 29, 2019
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
This isn’t a book just for those who are going through the throes of sobriety or interested in addiction. It’s a book for everyone who needs to know they’re not alone in what ever they’re struggling against.

Kristen reveals her life as a raw nerve and with great humility. The courage it takes to reveal the most horrible aspects of one’s life is remarkable and inspirational.
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Robin Barnum
4.0 out of 5 stars Quick Read
October 4, 2013
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
I just loved Kristen Johnston on 3rd Rock From the Sun & thought she was just wonderful. Being a short person coming from a family with a lot of tall family members, I never realized she'd had issues growing up of being tall. I know what issues my youngest sister has finding clothes (she's 6'1"), but didn't realize Kristen's life. So sad that no one could validate her & let her know that height was something she could be proud of, even at the younger age. 2 boy cousins also were extremely tall when young, but they were revered for basketball teams.... Having been big on top, I was made fun of in a different way, so I could immediately identify with her about the taunting, the self-esteem issues, etc. As someone who loves her as an actress, I'm glad she made it & I'm glad she's back on TV. I was so excited to see her in another sitcom. The book was a quick read as it's written in a way I could sit down & keep reading for long periods at a time (I normally can't sit still long enough to read a book anymore). I went through shock when I realized how close she'd come to death and her emotional & health issues and was glad she wrote this book.
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Margo M.
5.0 out of 5 stars The honest, humorous travails of a woman dealing with additctions
September 13, 2013
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
Kristen Johnston manages to tell us her harrowing tale with pure honesty, humorous self-deprecation, & not an ounce of self-pity or sappiness. Worth the read not only if you deal with your own personal addiction demons, or those of someone you love, but if you enjoy a refreshing, funny, open & honest depiction of what it's like to be an addict.

Kristen doesn't mince words, but also doesn't offend. I respect her for exposing her flaws as well as her strengths. This is not easy to do, especially for someone in the public eye.

I also applaud her determination to change the way we see addiction as a moral shortcoming, instead of the medical, neurological illness that it is. It's time to remove the stigma & bring the truth off addiction into the light. Addicts need help, not hate or disdain. Berating an addict doesn't serve any purpose other than to make them hate themselves even more than they already do. Bravo Kristen!
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