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Habit Changers: 81 Game-Changing Mantras to Mindfully Realize Your Goals Hardcover – September 20, 2016
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“If you’re ready to live a fearless, awesome life, Habit Changers will help you take control of your destiny and be the badassiest version of yourself, every day. Ryan's techniques are easy to jump into and they work.” -Jen Sincero, New York Times Bestselling author of You Are a Badass
"This book has had the delightful effect of giving me something insightful within the first 60 seconds of picking it up as well as making me return to it often. Don't let the simplicity of the guide trick you into thinking it's not profound. This is a book with that special simplicity on the other side of complexity that should also be applauded--and read." Greg McKeown, author of the New York Times bestseller, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.
“Happiness is a choice, but it requires practice to maintain. MJ Ryan's insightful book serves to remind us how easily we can create a practice of incorporating effective positive thought patterns into our daily life." --Shawn Achor, happiness researcher and NYTimes bestselling author of Before Happiness
“Habit Changers is a game changer. In place of the predictable but worn and ineffective affirmations, MJ Ryan has created a novel new tool in the armamentarium of change tools... Like me, you’ll be inspired to craft your own, practice and finally reap the rewards lasting change will bring” -Pam Peeke MD, MPH, FACP, FACSM , and NY Times bestselling author of Fight Fat after Forty, Body for Life for Women, and The Hunger Fix
"This book is killer--it's a keep by your desk, keep by your bed, career coach, therapist, and mentor rolled into one.." --Caroline Ghosn, CEO, The Levo League
" From 'trust your inner GPS' to 'presume goodwill,' these slogans are simple, memorable and remarkably effective. Changing a habit requires going beyond intention to embrace tactics that enable you to consciously achieve your goals. This book will help you do just that, providing actionable strategies that you can quickly incorporate into your daily routine."--Fran Hauser, Partner at Rothenberg Ventures and former President of Digital Time Inc.
About the Author
M. J. RYAN is a leading expert on change and human fulfillment and senior coach to executives, entrepreneurs, and small business owners around the world. Her clients include Royal Dutch Shell, Microsoft, Time Warner, the U.S. military, and Aon Hewitt. She’s a partner with the Levo League career network and lead coach at SheEO, an organization offering new funding and support models for female entrepreneurs. She’s the founder of Conari Press, creator of the New York Times bestselling Random Acts of Kindness series, and author of many books including This Year I Will...
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The author, M.J. Ryan, has worked for many years as an "executive coach." Apparently this involves working with people in the business world with problems they need to overcome to be successful. Because of her extensive experience, she is able to give concrete examples of how some problems manifest themselves in the real world, and how she is able to advise her clients to resolve them. The idea of using "mantras" to overcome bad habits came about when Ryan was reading about Lojong, the Buddhist practice of repeating a slogan until it becomes so ingrained in your mind that you accept the idea without thinking about it. Because the new ideas are now part of your unconscious thought, you will be able to implement them without thinking. Ryan estimates it will take 6-9 months of repetition and awareness of your mantra for the permanent change to be made in your brain. She suggests not only repeating the mantra, but printing it out and putting it where it will be a constant reminder for you.
The book is divided into sections for each category, followed by several sub-categories. Each sub-category has its own one-page explanation and example, including the relevant mantra. Some of the categories are Anger, Conflict, Procrastination and Self-Confidence. Sometimes the manta is the title of the category, such as "Change It, Leave It, or Accept It."
While I enjoyed reading about the situations the author has encountered in working with business clients, I have a hard time believing the claim that after giving some of these people their new mantra, the "transformation was instantaneous and astonishing." Were that it were that easy! Still, if someone is truly committed to changing or improving an area of his or her life, being able to reduce the solution to a one-sentence slogan may help to put things into perspective.
Disclaimer: I received a copy of Habit Changers from Blogging for Books in exchange for this review
We are all creatures of habit and it can be quite difficult to break those habits – even when they’re clearly not working for us. This book gives readers some excellent examples of how we can change the way we see and do things in order to improve our everyday lives.
I especially liked the “Don’t go in your mind where your body is not” chapter. I tend to worry about the “what ifs” to the point where I forget to enjoy the here and now. This Habit Changer really hit home for me. Clearly, it won’t change my thinking overnight, but it’s a definite start.
In conclusion, I’d have to say this is a wonderfully positive book with a great deal of sound advice. We can all use a little more positivity in our lives (I know I could) and this book can certainly help with that. Thanks to Blogging for Books for providing me with a complimentary copy of this book!
The author's phrases are not affirmations. Those proclaim that you already possess a quality you are trying to achieve. I am calm. I am confident. Hers are medicine. You train your mind to enact your intention. Add a visual image or gesture. Then you have auditory, visual and kinesthetic.
Some of the mantras:
Say this person is my teacher to remind you to be patient, precise or whatever they are complaining about to you.
A pointed finger is a victim's logo.
You can't say yes if you can’t say no. When you say yes and can't follow through, you're not being helpful. The more you say no, the more wholehearted is your yes.
You've got to figure out if the juice is worth the squeeze.
Stakeholders need to be fluffed regularly like a pillow.
Don't be Fred. He was a colleague she complained about. He never listens, he is always right. This mantra reminds you of how you don't want to behave.
Native Americans believe if you haven't considered seven options, your thinking is incomplete. It's not either/or.
Relax; you've already failed at being perfect.
Feed forward, not back. Marshall Goldsmith. Don't comment on the past, but make suggestions for improving.
Do you sabotage happiness by putting yourself in the blender and hitting chop?
Because of the brain's tendency to be Velcro for the negative and Teflon for the positive, as neuropsychologist Rick Hanson describes our inborn negativity bias, when people encounter a minor setback, they often lose sight of the progress they've made. Say: look how far I've come.
Stand where you'd rather not.
Handshake your fear. Befriend your fear; turn toward it. Say: Oh, you poor thing. I see you are afraid. You're not alone. I'm with you. You give it attention. This can make it lessen or disappear.
This is the end of something and the beginning of something else. It reminds us that whenever we experience an ending, we are also standing on the cusp of something new, which helps tremendously to create perspective and hope.
Don't turn goof-ups into give-ups.
Undistort the distortion.
Stop, breathe, rewind. Gesture with a stop sign.
Be a yea-sayer.
Intuition is your inner GPS.
Nothing you've done in the past is a waste. It's all grist for your future.
It's a VUCA world. Volatile, uncertain, chaotic, ambiguous.
Read the room.
Mind the gap--on the subway means to warn riders to avoid falling in the space between the train and platform.
Change it, leave it or accept it. It reminds me of the commercial on drug addiction. Change, go to jail or die.
Gallup says weekly praise is one of 12 factors driving higher productivity and profitability.
There are three types of business in the world. God's (natural disasters), yours (you and your response) and theirs (what is the other person's to handle and respond to).
From Kitchen Table Wisdom, fill a bowl with water in the a.m. and recite a blessing asking to live life to the fullest that day. Pour the water out in the evening and turn the bowl upside down, signifying you've done your best. Take up the cares of the world tomorrow.