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Half in Shadow: The Life and Legacy of Nellie Y. McKay Paperback – April 12, 2021
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- Print length280 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherThe University of North Carolina Press
- Publication dateApril 12, 2021
- Dimensions6.12 x 0.62 x 9.25 inches
- ISBN-101469662531
- ISBN-13978-1469661889
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Book Description
From the Inside Flap
2022 Hurston/Wright Legacy Award in Nonfiction: Memoir/Biography
Honorable Mention, 2022 William Sanders Scarborough Prize, Modern Language Association
About the Author
Product details
- ASIN : 1469661888
- Publisher : The University of North Carolina Press
- Publication date : April 12, 2021
- Language : English
- Print length : 280 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1469662531
- ISBN-13 : 978-1469661889
- Item Weight : 1.2 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.12 x 0.62 x 9.25 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #7,576,183 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #5,427 in Black & African American Biographies
- #6,747 in African American Demographic Studies (Books)
- #14,454 in Women's Studies (Books)
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- Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2023It was delivered earlier than expected and in better condition than expected. Very happy with my purchase.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2022This book is an amazing study of phenomenal woman.
- Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2024The writer talks too much about her own life to fill in missing parts of McKay's story. She could only talk to McKay's daughter and one friend, so many facts are unclear. The book mostly talks about McKay's work but not much about her private life. Benjamin often says things but then admits she's not sure if they really happened. I think she should have waited until she had better proof. The book shows how McKay had to hide parts of who she was as a Black woman teaching in universities. But it doesn't really explain why she felt she had to hide so much. I get that Benjamin wants to show how important McKay was as a teacher and writer. But I think the book would be better if it showed how her private life and work life went together.
- Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2025I enjoyed the work done here through this book. I thoroughly appreciate the author’s openness about her deep interest in her professor’s life. This is the work of a black woman caring about a black woman before her. I love that the author felt drawn to Dr. McKay. This project spurs many questions for me, which perhaps could be a follow up book: what did Nellie mean to you? Why her story over others? What did her shadow mean to you? Any feelings of betrayal or uncertainty come up? I wonder if one might feel that they were actually close to her, only to realize that they were only half-close. Or perhaps one may feel that in having all of these justification about why she may have hidden her identity, it brings comfort? Did your heart break when you realized that you were loving someone sharing themselves intellectually with an open door policy only bringing half of their truths to the table? Perhaps this book is an answer to heartbreak. It would have broke me if I knew the professor I felt most connected with only shared a part of her truth with me, especially if I felt special. What’s clear to me is that you had a connection with Nellie, and I’m sorry she wasn’t as forthcoming about who she was. Perhaps the pain of having loss her own mother could only give her so much insight into what it would have meant to be a more idealized mother to her students. Perhaps you saw an intellectual in her that’s also in you. A black woman intellectual, and you saw a dream. Perhaps when she passed away and the truth was revealed, your dream was shattered.
To be honest, I’m not sure if Nellie would have felt good about this book. I’m not even sure if this matters, but it is worth considering: you describe her as a deeply private individual. We know this because even her home was a sacred place for her. I’m not sure if she would have wanted to be exposed in this manner. Some people enjoy being a mystery and find safety in their own mystery. To be exposed is also to be consumed. Perhaps because she isn’t here to be consumed this book isn’t hurting her, but I’m not sure if she would have wanted her secrets to be revealed because she would have been a true open book to those who believed she trusted: perhaps you- the author. Perhaps you thought she trusted you; her secrets post death reveal she trusted very few. Perhaps this tendency to be secret is also connected to father’s tendency to be secret about her mother. Secrecy may have been a self preservation tactic.
What I most interested in is what type of mother she was to her children and what type of relationship she had with her students. She called many of them “daughter” but in what way was she a mother? Was this “mother” role a performance? In a casual sense, how would describe her? Was she funny? Witty? Withdrawn? Deeply pensive? Moody? Who was she really? And did anyone in academia or you really know? What would Pat say about her mother’s personality?
I recall in the book her son calling her “emotionally unavailable” and not attentive to his needs. Can you describe how she was a mother to her student “daughters?” She seemed like true individualist, whose life she never wanted to display. Her academic life seemed to be a cathartic really. Her personal life, you know—in between the lines, is really a mystery. I don’t think we know the full story here. But I think it surpasses what we know from intellectualizing her shadow. Intellectualizing this relationship may bring self comfort, but we may never really know. It’s just like the pain you probably felt when you realized you weren’t as close as you thought….that pain never goes away—it just gets easier with time. I’m sorry this happened to you and that you perhaps may have not felt good enough to know the real truth. But to be frank, I’m not sure if even those who knew were truly good enough to know. Her true private life was likely a place for her to bare the pain of losing her mother, which we have yet to ever truly dive into in this book. Anyone who has lost their mother—whether living or dead—- knows that this is what one secretly searches for and aches after their entire life. The shadow is in what she never truly discussed with you all—the pain of motherhood in her own life—both as a mother trying to hide her identity—perhaps not fully believing her in her ability or willingness to really embrace what that truly means—and to face and understand why she was dealt the cards of not having a mother and why her father was too withdrawn to let her into her mother’s life through his own memories. Some things are too personal to speak. And that seems to be what’s missing here. People think that it’s a common experience to lose one’s mother, but it’s not common when you have to deal with looking for someone in all the wrong places - I.e. see character Mable from Wayward Lives. A mother teaches one about femininity and true love from a woman. What did it mean that her mother was absent from her intellectual life? When did this idealized mother show up in her analysis of black writings? When did she search for her mother in her writings to her black women peers? How did her mother’s absence lead her to hide herself from her black students and peers? When did the black mother longing become safe to speak about? With whom could she relate? Perhaps you the author mother her by seeing her when she has wanted to be seen by a black woman? When did this absent mother show up at the dinner parties she had with her daughter? In what ways did she really want her daughter to be her sister? Did Dr. McKay feel just as much as a girl as her daughter? I.e. taking care of her children—-performing motherhood—-while going to school to be mothered?
- Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2021This book was in my local library. Author Shanna Greene Benjamin worked on this project for her professoriate. It is light on facts and personal stories about McKay still I would recommend it.
Benjamin does fill the pages with stories about her own life to make up for the holes that are missing in McKay's story.
When reading this book, it reminded me of a bio I read about Blues singer Billie Holliday. The biographer kept giving you details about Holliday then would contradict them or have someone else say that they were false. This book was the same situation. Green-Benjamin would share a story then say she found no evidence or could not confirm that it ever happened. So, I'm not sure if she should have written this book or not.
Given the fact that only McKay's daughter and one close friend would participate in this project, Greene-Benjamin was not able to confirm much about her personal life.
The story is mostly about McKay's professional life, which was an easier task. Her personal life is non existent in this book. She magically had two children and was married and divorced. Then she portrayed herself as a single woman [allowing people to believe her daughter was her sister] to be an attractive candidate for a professorship.
McKay and her daughter were accepted into Harvard the same year for graduate and undergrad studies, respectively; the monumental moment was not celebrated because McKay portrayed a different version of herself in her college and professional life. Obviously, McKay and her daughter have their reasons for why they lived their lives the way they did. Still, I need to say it was a shame.
- Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2022Professor Benjamin’s beautiful tribute to her beloved professor provides insight into the life of an important intellectual and the inner workings of the academy for Black women. Engaging and elegantly written.




