Hatchet (Unrated Director's Cut)
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Top Customer Reviews
And you have to admit, "Hatchet" never pretends to be anything it's not -- a horror movie in the classic slasher vein, with lots of blood and dismemberment. Adam Green doesn't do anything we haven't seen before, but he does it with such gleeful enjoyment. And gloriously satirical dialogue ("Your nipples are dumb!").
A bunch of guys are at Mardi Gras, enjoying the beer, beads and breasts. Ben (Joel Moore) is depressed about a recent breakup, so he decides to drag his pal Marcus (Deon Richmond) on a haunted boat trip. Since the main guides no longer do night tours, Ben and Marcus end up on a tiny boat with two dumb tourists, two softcore porn actresses, their "producer," and a mystery girl with a gun.
But then the newbie guide accidentally runs them into a rock, and they run afoul of gaters. And then Marybeth (Tamara Feldman) reveals the horrifying truth -- she's there to find her brother and father, who vanished in this same swamp. Supposedly it's haunted by the ghost of Victor Crowley, a horribly deformed boy who was accidentally killed by his father during a fire.
Of course, nobody buys this until a grotesque creature comes jumping out of the old Crowley house and hacks up the tourists with a hatchet. Terrified, the people go running through the woods, with Victor hot in pursuit -- and their only hope of escape is to get back to New Orleans. But how can they escape someone who cannot be killed?
Again, this has all been done before -- think "Halloween" meets "Friday the 13th," with dashes of other horror classics thrown in there.Read more ›
the killer is one Victor Crowley. born with various deformities all over his body, he grew up secluded in his home with his father. that is, until the day some local kids accidentally start a fire in the house. Victor's father accidentally killed him with a hatchet while trying to get through the door to save him. now he wanders those same woods and swamps looking to dish out some pain in return for his own.
starts off with a relatively traditional horror intro (you know what im talking about)
cut to a couple days later. the main character("villain" from Grandma's Boy! also in Accepted) of this movie is highly unhappy at Mardi Gras and looks into a haunted swamp tour for some alternative entertainment. most of the characters are fairly cliched. you got the paris hiltonish girls (eh), the hero, the token back dude, the sensitive guy, the completely helpless old couple, and the sleaze. traditionally, it doesnt take too long for the chaos to begin.
a fairly over-used formula at this point, but just like "The Tripper", "Hatchet" manages to be supremely entertaining with an extremely interesting kill or two thrown in for good measure. plenty of blood and guts to satisfy any horror fan, but probably not grisly enough for the most jaded of gore hounds. kills with nothing but bare hands, kills with the ominous hatchet, and a power tool may even just get thrown in there.Read more ›
Movies are for entertainment right? So I'm not sure who would be rating this movie low. It stars Kane Hodder and has the "UNRATED" logo sported right on the box! So if you're renting this expecting some mind-bending, intellectual horror film with a complex plot and great character development. Then rent "The Silence of the Lambs". Otherwise, if your looking for a fun horror that you and your friends can laugh and drink some beers to, go for it!
It has all the classic horror movie attributes; boobs, blood and the bad guy!
So honestly, not sure who would rent this expecting a Shakespearian epic, but for someone who feels like putting on a movie that can provide some laughs, a few jumps and possibly some good quotes. Look no further. But if you are just a pretentious a$$ that is looking for million dollar writing and/or another horror movie to bitc# at. Well then you might want to pass...... Unless you feel like bitc#ing of course.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
THIS MOVIE WAS CREEPY SCARY LIKE THE SEQUEL OF EACH VERISON OF THE THIS MOVIEPublished 18 days ago by leronda campbell
I Just wrote a review for Hatchet three i have all three movies i love them.Published 19 days ago by deborah K. Wheeler
Arrived on time, no damage. Reminds me of the old Friday the 13th movies.Published 1 month ago by Stephenie
Hatchet makes no apologies about what it is. Ever self-aware, the movie is advertised as "Old-school American horror" and that's more or less what you get. Read morePublished 5 months ago by T. Skylar
One of my friends recommended this movie, and I am so glad she did. If you love some of the classic slasher movies you will most likely enjoy this gore fest. Read morePublished 6 months ago by luptaloop