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I Hate You--Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality Paperback – December 7, 2010
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"...a good resource for professionals and families, because it provides therapists with concrete ideas to incorporate both instruction and hope into their practice by providing patients and their families suggestions in simple, non-condescending language. It is by far the best book on the market on BPD."
-Anita Biase, strugglingteens.com
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Top Customer Reviews
It should be mandatory reading for anyone dealing with a person who has a borderline personality disorder.
we are not evil people, nor are we narcissistic.
this book is perfect -to me- because they don't make BPD into a "walking on egg shells" issue. which it may be to some family and friends, but, i (most bpd) try to go over the top and beyond for others in a good way. we fear rejection and the most simple (to you) things such as eye movement at "wrong" (to me) time can mean rejection and fear, thus the wall falls and anger is my wall.
there is so much more detail to who we are, i am not the spokesman for BPD but speaking for myself there are so many things i wish i could do and/or change about who i am both within BPD and outside of it. i don't wish to be like this, and i think this book shows very well the reasons and gives amazing details and comparisons so non-BPD people can hopefully understand us a bit more.
The chapter discussing how to communicate with a BPD person was very informative and I've attepted to apply the method but my wife insists everyone is ganging up on her, stabbing her in the back and that she can't trust anyone... even me. She refuses to acept any responsiblity for her behavior.
One thing that has become very clear to me after reading this book is that until a BPD person acepts responsibility for the things they say and do and that it's not everyone else, it will always be a struggle. My greatest fear is the potential impact on our daughters as they grow up and witness their mother's unexplained outbursts.
Very informative and worth reading for anyone who is on the receiving end of unexplained and unpredictable outbursts of anger/rage, unexplained accusations, manipulative comments, and attempts to make you feel like you're always the problem.
You may not know you are. But if you know a person who sees you as all good and then all bad, smothers you one minute and rejects you the next, and has shaky identity, they likely have BPD. People who have this problem often grew up in abusive situations and never learned to form healthy attachments. They crave relationships but can't tolerate them when they materialize.***
I know therapists who treat only a limited number of people with this disorder: they are the hardest to work with because their symptoms can be so contradictory. These people can suck dry even the most skilled and compassionate clinician. Imagine how hard it is for a layperson.
'But people with BPD can get better, and that is where this book comes in. Your are not going to cure them, but by consistency, limit setting and other tools this book outlines, you can live, love and work with them if you want or have to.
***No. Not all single men have BPD.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Read it if you need it..... you will know if you do just by the title. Having BPD is a hard pill to swallow but once you do realize there is hope for change and solution to life's... Read morePublished 8 days ago by shaman1313
The edition I bought has been recently revised and updated from the 1991 version to reflect the changing nature of what we now know about this particular disorder, treatment, and... Read morePublished 10 days ago by Adan Ramie
Very imformative and easy to understand a complicated condition.Published 12 days ago by Jeanette Lucas
If there were a rating for negative stars, this would be -5. This is a terrible book. It makes it seem like the people who work with those who have BPD are martyrs and made me feel... Read morePublished 12 days ago by AshCat
Just started this one, my daughter has the same things affecting her and thought it would help me be more understanding, thanks for the insight, so far so good.Published 14 days ago by judyj
If you or someone you love suffers from borderline personality disorder, you would really benefit from reading this book. It highlights the extremes of the disorder. Read morePublished 18 days ago by Rebawayx