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Have the Guts to Do It Right: Raising Grateful and Responsible Children in an Era of Indulgence Paperback – October 22, 2010

4.4 out of 5 stars 21 customer reviews

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Parenting in a complicated world
Strategies to help you be the best parent you can be. See more
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Sheri Moskowitz Noga has a Masters Degree in Humanistic and Clinical Psychology and has been in private practice for over 30 years as a psychotherapist working with individuals, children, couples and families. Her therapeutic approach of honesty and compassion has allowed many families to find their way to more peaceful and rewarding relationships.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 142 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace (October 22, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1453771840
  • ISBN-13: 978-1453771846
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.3 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #262,034 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By booksandbliss VINE VOICE on March 7, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have read close to 20 childrearing books since becoming a mother but this is the one book that's spoken to me most directly about the struggles I am going through with a strong-willed school aged child. Things that were driving me crazy: talking back, inability to keep on a schedule, constant asking for more, more, more in the way of material gifts...I've had no problem nurturing my child academically, physically, emotionally and athletically...but how to instill a sense of responsibility? consideration for others? accountability? selflessness? respect for others? This was so much harder as a parent.

I had wavered between firm and soft over the years, and I hadn't been 100% consistent in my discipline and follow through. I'm paying for that now, and struggling as to how I can make up for what I had failed to do better in the early years. Noga's many vivid examples of former clients/patients as well as no-holds-bar warnings jolted me into changing my parenting attitude and methods literally overnight.

I should clarify that this is not a how-to book - more of an illustrative book to show the range of out-of-control behaviors and attitudes among kids and teens (and how parents perpetrate and nurture them) and what could happen if parents don't step in soon - but I think the answers are within us already. What the book does is give a huge jolt and wake up call. If you find yourself at times picking up the slack for your child, or looking the other way because you know it'll take too much effort to argue with him, this book reminds you that it is *not* ok to keep letting these incidents pile up, or before you know it your child will be controlling your household and grow into an entitled, emotionally weak and dependent adult.
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Am going to start giving this to new moms during baby showers. Am the mother of triplets who also taught inner city middle school. The author is full of common sense. Am surprised this book isn't more popular. If all parents in our country read it, we'd have a lot less social problems.
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For a generation of parents that are kissing our kids butts, it's time to pack some knowledge and "old school" tactics that worked for previous parents. Trust me, in a world of iphones, computers, youtube, and that awful pop music culture, this book will help you straighten out your kids before it's too late. Doesn't touch on the divorced Dad side of raising kids, which is what I was looking for, but I can't expect everything.
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This book is straightforward and a great read. I feel Sheri Moskowitz Noga M.A. is one of very few child experts today that address the real issues our children are facing with weak, liberal and lazy parents that want more to be "liked" by their children than to be actual parents. It does take guts to raise your kids properly and to be able to stand the fact that they will be mad at you and "hate" you at times. But in the end you will have compassionate, respectful, non-narcissistic adults, and then you know you did it right. I wish more parents would follow this advice and have the guts to do it right.
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After 25 years as a family therapist, I was pleased to read a book that helps parents understand "nothing happens in a vacuum" when it comes to parenting. Sheri does a wonderful job in helping parents understand the power we have to influence who are children are(both positively and negatively)by how we respond to them. I think that one of the most loving things we can do as parents is teach our children how the real world works by teaching cause-effect relationships so as to empower them when they walk out the front door every day. Sheri's book does a wonderful and courageous job of helping parents understand this, and in the process become responsible and effective in influencing who their children become. Great stuff...long overdue.
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Format: Paperback
Those of us who have been around long enough to remember when parents were still authority figures (albeit some were too strict)are confused by the shift in power that is all too prevalent in families currently. All too often, kids run the show. Sheri Noga's book directly confronts the notion that parental focus should be on the immediate gratification of the child in order to keep him or her happy. For those who need permission to do what is right and best for the child, they will get it in big doses here. In a direct and easily understandable style, a reality check is delivered to parents willing to change their own way of parenting. These changes involve providing a gift better than any they could buy-an understanding of the importance of empathy, respect and the patience to wait for (or even earn) what they want.
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If you already know about authoritative parenting, this book will teach you nothing. Likewise, if your parents knew what they were doing, this book will be worthless to you.

However, for the 99% of us whose parents weren't perfect, this book will be quite useful.
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In a direct, straightforward voice, Ms. Noga, makes a solid case for parenting with limits, love, and expectations. Filled with examples from her own clinical practice and sage practical advice, she effectively demonstrates that indulgent parenting often leads to the development of entitled, narcissistic children. Sadly as these narcissistic children age, they struggle with the adult tasks of creating meaningful, empathetic relationships and satisfying, fulfilling work. She recognizes, with compassion, that our current materialistic society makes limit setting difficult. However, a strong advocate for healthy children and families, Ms. Noga is nonetheless clear that parents need to rise to the challenge and teach their children responsibility, gratitude, and respect. Fortunately, for the reader she provides many practical suggestions on exactly how to do that.
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