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Have the Guts to Do It Right: Raising Grateful and Responsible Children in an Era of Indulgence Paperback – October 22, 2010
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About the Author
Sheri Moskowitz Noga has a Masters Degree in Humanistic and Clinical Psychology and has been in private practice for over 30 years as a psychotherapist working with individuals, children, couples and families. Her therapeutic approach of honesty and compassion has allowed many families to find their way to more peaceful and rewarding relationships.
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I had wavered between firm and soft over the years, and I hadn't been 100% consistent in my discipline and follow through. I'm paying for that now, and struggling as to how I can make up for what I had failed to do better in the early years. Noga's many vivid examples of former clients/patients as well as no-holds-bar warnings jolted me into changing my parenting attitude and methods literally overnight.
I should clarify that this is not a how-to book - more of an illustrative book to show the range of out-of-control behaviors and attitudes among kids and teens (and how parents perpetrate and nurture them) and what could happen if parents don't step in soon - but I think the answers are within us already. What the book does is give a huge jolt and wake up call. If you find yourself at times picking up the slack for your child, or looking the other way because you know it'll take too much effort to argue with him, this book reminds you that it is *not* ok to keep letting these incidents pile up, or before you know it your child will be controlling your household and grow into an entitled, emotionally weak and dependent adult. The book was the wake up call I seriously needed to not put this off any further. While reading this I immediately identified areas that I wanted to work on with my son and developed systems to help him improve. It's been only a month or so since I've finished the book but I've managed to get my son to school on time (he used to struggle), take responsibility for and get through his daily routines on time, improve on attitude, even handle a bullying situation well. In addition, we were amazed that for his birthday this year, he did not ask for a single thing. There was plenty that he wanted, but we only learned about it when we asked.
At times I was slightly frustrated that I couldn't read more about the age group of my particular child, but understand also that Noga is covering the entire developmental span, from toddlerhood through early adulthood and it would be difficult to go in alot of depth at each developmental phase. I would love some more concrete tips and ideas as well but again, after finishing this book I did find alot of the answers within myself and was able to develop systems that worked for my particular family.
I am very grateful for this book, which has changed everything for me and thus my family.