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If I Have to Tell You One More Time...: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Remindi ng, or Yelling Paperback – August 30, 2012
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The Amazon Book Review
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—Dr. Michele Borba, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions and Today show contributor
“I’ve always said that if parents do their job right, they eventually work themselves out of a job. Finally: the tools we all need to achieve ‘parental unemployment.’ And best of all, you never have to get mad.”
—Wendy L. Walsh, Ph.D., human behavior expert on CNN, cohost of The Doctors, and mother of two
“Packed with clear direction—including really practical tips and simple strategies—for how to put an end to whining, tantrums, battles, and all the rest, this book will be a giant relief for parents who want to bring out the best in their kids.”
—Dr. Christine Carter, author of Raising Happiness
“Spoken like a real mom. This revolutionary program will help any parent address any problem . . . with calm.”
—Hal E. Runkel, author of ScreamFree Parenting
About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
Here is an example: Amy has a tool called "when . . . then". You tell then child "when you finish cleaning up after dinner, then you can have your treat" or something similar. What she doesn't go over for each of her tools is how to handle all the uncontrollable whining, tantrums and continuous fighting that ensues when you try to initiate these boundaries.
For the "when . . . then" tool, one of her examples is to say to the child "when you load the dishwasher, then you can come to the table for dinner.". What she doesn't cover is what to do when the child refuses to do the chore and doesn't care about the "privilege". She simply says the child will have no choice but to comply. But the child does have a choice: not to eat dinner. Now, I don't really care whether my child misses a meal, but it's one of my husband's hot buttons, and he goes nuts if that is going to happen.
Amy has similar recommendations for ensuring routines. I am big on routines in my house. But I still can't get my boys to get ready for bed independently without playing around, dawdling, etc. I tell them it cuts into their story time, I give them the "when . . . then", etc. It doesn't change their behavior. They just continue to do what they are going to do. They get a shorter story time, but if they dawdle or misbehave so much that there isn't any time left for stories, all hell breaks loose!Read more ›
I've read several parenting books (The Happiest Toddler on the Block, 1-2-3 Magic, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and LIsten So Kids Will Talk...). I learned a lot from those books, but If I Have to Tell You One More Time is hands-down the best. McCready shows you how to eliminate the root of the misbehaviors. I would call it a misbehavior prevention program where there are a lot of empowering of kids, training of kids, giving consequences (not punishments) to kids, etc... The book isn't overly stuffed with psychological babble, but instead has clear, direct instructions and examples of how parents should implement the tools. I also love how McCready empathizes with the parents and then empowers them. There were some things I didn't agree with and some things I wish McCready would have addressed like hitting, lying, stealing, etc. especially because she doesn't believe in "punishing" kids. But overall, it is an excellent book that every parent should read.
And yes, parents, you actually have to parent. And it's hard (it's supposed to be!).Read more ›
My only gripe is that I find a few of her approaches too permissive (for strong willed kids they need VERY clear and firm boundaries). I recommend a few books for these personality types: 'Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child' (too much time out but a good lesson in the 'dances' we find ourselves in with our kids) and some of Harville Hendrix's work. She skips over some very important issues I would've really liked her input on ie. stealing. Whilst I agree it's good to question the child's motives, I think a bigger approach is needed.
But the tenet of the book is VERY good. It's a good foundation for parents that works well across ALL personality types of children. Parents may need to seek further help for their OWN issues that lead them to not get the best from their kids. And of course you may like to tweak some of her advice to suit your own beliefs (ie in our house we don't waste food and nutrition is important to us, so we have a slightly different, but still respectful, approach to her advice there).
I'm very pleased to have this book and recommend it highly to everyone.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
After reading this book once I am re reading it a 2nd time. It's a great book and a lot of great info... Read morePublished 1 month ago by ksteph79
This book and Amy McCready are awesome!! I'm only half way through it, but already seeing great results! I was at rock bottom with my 5 kids, and then discovered Amy. Read morePublished 5 months ago by Kindle Customer
This book sounds nice on paper, but is filled with strategies that are very unrealistic. For example, toolbox solution #18- stay out of fights. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Mom of 3 boys
Best parenting book I've read....which reminds me, it's time to revisit it again. It works if you're consistent...Published 8 months ago by RonGwenZac