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If I Have to Tell You One More Time. . .: The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling Hardcover – August 4, 2011

4.7 out of 5 stars 123 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"A must read! If I Have to Tell You One More Time delivers practical, step-by-step tools for well-behaved kids and happy families." ---Dr. Michele Borba, author of The Big Book of Parenting and Today Show contributor --This text refers to the MP3 CD edition.

About the Author

Amy McCready reaches a worldwide audience with her online Positive Parenting Solutions courses and webinars as well as regular television and radio appearances, including the Today show, Rachael Ray, and CNN's Headline News. She lives with her husband and two teenage boys in Raleigh, North Carolina.

AudioFile Earphones Award winner Coleen Marlo has earned numerous Publishers Weekly Listen-Up Awards and won an Audie Award for her narration of Snakewoman of Little Egypt by Robert Hellenga. --This text refers to the MP3 CD edition.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Tarcher (August 4, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1585428647
  • ISBN-13: 978-1585428649
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 1.1 x 8.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (123 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #598,742 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have subscribed to Amy's video program, I've read her book, and I've listened to portions of the book on Audible. I'm still having a very hard time implementing the tools she recommends.

Here is an example: Amy has a tool called "when . . . then". You tell then child "when you finish cleaning up after dinner, then you can have your treat" or something similar. What she doesn't go over for each of her tools is how to handle all the uncontrollable whining, tantrums and continuous fighting that ensues when you try to initiate these boundaries.

For the "when . . . then" tool, one of her examples is to say to the child "when you load the dishwasher, then you can come to the table for dinner.". What she doesn't cover is what to do when the child refuses to do the chore and doesn't care about the "privilege". She simply says the child will have no choice but to comply. But the child does have a choice: not to eat dinner. Now, I don't really care whether my child misses a meal, but it's one of my husband's hot buttons, and he goes nuts if that is going to happen.

Amy has similar recommendations for ensuring routines. I am big on routines in my house. But I still can't get my boys to get ready for bed independently without playing around, dawdling, etc. I tell them it cuts into their story time, I give them the "when . . . then", etc. It doesn't change their behavior. They just continue to do what they are going to do. They get a shorter story time, but if they dawdle or misbehave so much that there isn't any time left for stories, all hell breaks loose!
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I have a 4-year-old toddler, who is pretty good and obedient most of the time, but I could not for the life of me get her to clean up her toys. I found myself raising my voice and using threats over this issue, so when I saw the title of this book, it immediately drew my attention. And after reading this book, I learned that it wasn't so much "what" I did but 'how" I did it. I would take away her toys as a logical consequence for not cleaning up (which the book supports) but until I read this book, I couldn't see why that consequence alone didn't work (this is just one example of what I learned).

I've read several parenting books (The Happiest Toddler on the Block, 1-2-3 Magic, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and LIsten So Kids Will Talk...). I learned a lot from those books, but If I Have to Tell You One More Time is hands-down the best. McCready shows you how to eliminate the root of the misbehaviors. I would call it a misbehavior prevention program where there are a lot of empowering of kids, training of kids, giving consequences (not punishments) to kids, etc... The book isn't overly stuffed with psychological babble, but instead has clear, direct instructions and examples of how parents should implement the tools. I also love how McCready empathizes with the parents and then empowers them. There were some things I didn't agree with and some things I wish McCready would have addressed like hitting, lying, stealing, etc. especially because she doesn't believe in "punishing" kids. But overall, it is an excellent book that every parent should read.

And yes, parents, you actually have to parent. And it's hard (it's supposed to be!).
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Format: Paperback
Time out's don't work in this house and we have a VERY stubborn, spirited and strong willed child. Now that we focus on "discipline" rather than "punishment", things have really begun to change. We also noticed that we were spending lots of time with her, but it wasn't "child ego" time, we were still distracted. This helps HEAPS in filling her emotional tank and curbing that whining. Tips to stop yelling have helped as they never worked anyway. Teaching respectful ways of getting tasks done with natural consequences has been key - I firmly believe this approach will help prevent rebellion in teenage yrs as kids will learn WHY they should/shouldn't do xyz, rather than punishing and teaching them to hide wrong choices instead. Her approach is backed up with research.

My only gripe is that I find a few of her approaches too permissive (for strong willed kids they need VERY clear and firm boundaries). I recommend a few books for these personality types: 'Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child' (too much time out but a good lesson in the 'dances' we find ourselves in with our kids) and some of Harville Hendrix's work. She skips over some very important issues I would've really liked her input on ie. stealing. Whilst I agree it's good to question the child's motives, I think a bigger approach is needed.

But the tenet of the book is VERY good. It's a good foundation for parents that works well across ALL personality types of children. Parents may need to seek further help for their OWN issues that lead them to not get the best from their kids. And of course you may like to tweak some of her advice to suit your own beliefs (ie in our house we don't waste food and nutrition is important to us, so we have a slightly different, but still respectful, approach to her advice there).

I'm very pleased to have this book and recommend it highly to everyone.
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