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He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: A Memoir of Finding Faith, Hope, and Happily Ever After Hardcover – April 30, 2008

4.5 out of 5 stars 28 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Ryan's winsome memoir and writing debut traces her desperate search for a man—specifically a husband—and for a spirituality that works for her. En route, her heart is broken in every possible way: her college fiancé cheats on her; her first husband abuses her; and she dates a succession of alternately nice and creepy noncommittal guys. She attempts to talk herself out of her desire for marriage, hoping that crystals, feng shui and astrology will provide the guidance she needs to sort out the mess of her life. When she ends up unemployed and broke in Boston, she channel surfs across a Joyce Meyer program one afternoon and is shocked to hear that the Bible promises good things. She visits an evangelical church, joins a small group and ever so tentatively explores the idea of Jesus, eventually giving him her broken life and asking him to fix it. God promises her a husband and delivers (with a tinge of prosperity gospel that will appeal to Meyer fans), but not without cost. In spite of her desperation and a string of horrible choices, Ryan is eminently likable and vulnerable, and her sharp writing will appeal to faithful and irreverent readers alike. (Apr. 30)
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Review

"Trish Ryan's He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not is the beautiful and honest story of one pilgrim's progress. It will inspire you and challenge you and you will fall in love with it and with her." (David Kuo, author of Tempting Faith: An Inside Story of Political Seduction )

"You don't have to be looking for spiritual enlightenment to dive into Trish Ryan's HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT: A Memoir of Finding Faith, Hope, and Happily Ever After. Honest, funny and poignant, Ryan's is a story of one woman searching for the right path, and in sharing her journey, she might help you find your own way, whatever that way might be." (Allison Winn Scotch, author of "The Department of Lost and Found" )

"Trish Ryan delivers a razor sharp memoir: funny, thoughtful, poignant and unflinchingly honest. HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT is a must-read for anyone who's struggled with life's Big Questions." (Cara Lockwood, bestselling author of "I Do (But I Don't)" )

"Poignant, honest, and intriguing ... This book is for anyone who longs to experience the abundance, joy, and peace that only comes through a relationship with the one true God of the universe." (Denise Jackson, New York Times bestselling author of "It's All About Him" )

"Trish Ryan is a woman on a search. She's honest, vulnerable, funny and frank and simply will not settle for a life without greater meaning or a man without a generous heart. Her story will connect with all those who quest for true love and a greater purpose or pattern for the way they live their lives."
(Margaret Sartor, New York Times' bestselling author of "Miss American Pie: A Diary of Love, Secrets, and Growing Up in the 1970s" )

"This is one riveting story. Like many people, I can identify with what it feels like to look in all the wrong places -- and then realize down the road that God has been writing a story that is so much bigger and better than I could have ever imagined. It's not often that someone can make me read into the wee hours -- and then laugh so hard that I wake my poor husband up from a sound sleep." (Shaunti Feldhahn, bestsellingauthor of "For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men" )

"Trish Ryan gives readers a literary two-for-one deal that is hard to resist. Her simultaneous quests for the right guy and the right spiritual path are funny, moving, disarmingly frank and ultimately uplifting. Each makes a great tale, but together, her cup runneth over." (AJ Jacobs, author of "The Know-It-All" and "The Year of Living Biblically" )
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: FaithWords (April 30, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1599957132
  • ISBN-13: 978-1599957135
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 1.1 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,921,642 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Kelly Klepfer VINE VOICE on April 28, 2008
Format: Hardcover
He Loves Me, Loves Me Not is a well-written and engaging memoir along the lines of those penned by Donald Miller, and reminding me very much of Lauren Winner's Girl Meets God.

Trish Ryan lays out her journey from stars and crystals to a tentative step forward, three-step- back, and final two-handed grasp of the truth of Jesus as her source of spiritual fulfillment. The road is winding and full of poetic sarcasm and sweet, struggling surrender.

Miller fans, women who despair of finding that perfect Christian man, those on the brink of a spiritual journey, or ones beaten down by religion and empty promises may find soul-balm in this book. Baby-steppers in Jesus, wheel-spinners, spiritual quicksand dwellers and ditch rollers may find fresh air and relief from the struggle in the truths that Trish discovered while wrestling spirituality.

However, warning to the sensitive. Trish is transparently generous with her thoughts and not all will please more conservative readers. Trish has embraced freedom in Christ and though I highly recommend and sometimes long for that path, my Baptist upbringing cautions me far too often. So, if you are easily offended by the idea of a Christian drinking alcohol or sharing thoughts that wouldn't pass the prim Sunday School teacher appropriateness test....do yourself a favor and don't go there. Because, if you do go there you are going to not glean the truth from the book but get hung up in the details.

Sensitive parents will also want to review the book before allowing OLDER teens to read it because Trish delves into dysfunctional relationships, including her own issues.

The chapters covering Trish's growth into wife material really should be must-reading for all females who love Jesus and want a husband real bad.
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Format: Hardcover
This is a great book. Smart, funny, honest, and well written. You want to give it to every friend you know who is looking for freedom, joy, peace and love by rearranging their furniture, and also to everyone who is having trouble believing in miracles. I can't recommend it enough.
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Format: Hardcover
When I first read the book jacket on He Loves Me, He Loves Me NOT (HLMHLMN), I thought I was in for some light-hearted chick lit or a God on a Harley type ride. Trish Ryan's desperate hubby hunt turned faith quest ended up far more meaningful than finding Prince Charming.

Spirituality/Religion can be a heavy topic and can put many a reader on the defense, but Trish reveals her journey with such candor and humor, I, for one, walked away appreciating her process.

In her twenties, Trish threw around the common disclaimer that she was "spiritual, but not religious." She embraced everything from A Course in Miracles, astrology, tarot cards, feng shui, crystals, chakras, Native American spirituality--you name it, she tried it. If she hadn't already made her choice, you better bet, Trish would be first in line to buy Oprah's Book Club pick, Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth Awakening To Your Life's Purpose. With painful self-dissection and heartache, all that changed...

Even if you're not exploring enlightenment, you can glean clarity from Trish's memoir. I appreciate her willingness to allow us a glimpse into her spiritual and psychological trenches--she admits her insecurities and speaks openly about the dreaded "D-word," depression. Don't be detered--HLMHLMN is by no means a downer. Think Sex in The City meets Women of Faith ~ Trish's relentless self-effacing humor inspires quick page turning.

I doubt we'll find many people, especially women, who won't find themselves relating to Trish, at least on some level. She reminds me of our tendency to project our ideals onto our latest man crush--the biggest trap we can set for ourselves.
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Format: Hardcover
I found such similarities in my own life. I could not put this book down. I have followed the same paths in my own life, the crystals, astrology, Hinduism etc, etc. But now I am follow a similar path in Christianity and wonder if oneday my prayers will be answered. I found this book funny at times then at times sad & poignant at Trish's quest to find her true happiness. It makes me believe that maybe my own dreams can come true!
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Memoir is not my favorite genre, but my wife loves it and she chortled her way all afternoon through the first half of this book, I wondered what I was missing out on. I found out when I stole it to catch up and then we read the rest of the book side-by-side: a laugh-out loud, disarmingly real look at the life of a single woman in America and her quest for happiness. Imagine if Anne Lamott wrote a how-to for finding a mate: witty, deep, spiritual, and awkwardly funny. You can't help but want Trish to triumph in the end.
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Format: Hardcover
This memoir is about Trish's journey through many different spiritual practices and relationships, while searching for happiness, and ultimately a husband. Her candid sense of humor comes through in her casual, yet gripping style of writing. I appreciated her ability to communicate that not all (in fact probably most) Christians do not fall into the stereotypes that are thrown at them, whether it be that they are Republicans, Bible-thumpers, etc. Her style/experience with faith is one that draws people in wanting to experience it for themselves. I'm not a fast reader, but finished this book in two days because I couldn't put it down.
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