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I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships Paperback – June 19, 2017
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About the Author
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Because I was "losing the fight" dealing with personal relationships by just not engaging or fighting so aggressive that the other person would want to quit and escape, I decided to try this.
It wasn't a hard read at all. Almost like it was a written conversation I would have with a friend. And started to try it as I read the book, and by the time I finished the book, I had already gotten a success. It was a simple message that read "I appreciate you trying to work hard on our relationship, I know you are trying and that gives me hope."
Try it, because it has worked for me. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I am older and set in my ways. But it has already helped this old dog learn a new trick that could save me from being a old, grumpy and lonely man down the road.
So take a moment to think about the people that you love being around the most. Why do you love being around them? Obviously they’re awesome. Part of that awesomeness though is derived from the both of you being able for feel heard and cared for by one another. The best and quickest way to achieve that mutual form of love and understanding is through validation. Michael Sorenson uses charming stories to illustrate the overwhelming benefits and concise steps to create a practical approach that you can use in your everyday interactions. After having read it I’ve found myself trying to be more cognizant of times when I have the opportunity to validate a friend or a family member. While it has only been a week, it has certainly been helpful. The best part is that it is incredibly simple too.
Quite a bit of the research utilized in the book is from John Gottman who is world-renowned for his research on relationships and what makes them work. If you are looking for books to read in an effort to improve your interpersonal relationships, whether it’s work, dating, marriage, etc., I would say there are 3 main books/authors to turn to. I Hear You- by Michael Sorenson, Hold Me Tight- by Sue Johnson (leading researcher/ developer of EFT), and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work- by John Gottman. Combining the information of all three books will really provide the best tools for you to use in your relationships and give you the best results.
There are only two things that I would complain about. 1) I would have loved to see references listed on the back so I could look into some of the studies that were mentioned in greater depth. This isn’t a problem for the average reader, just for people like me who want to dig into the research that was listed. 2) I would have loved more of the author’s insight on self-validation, but maybe we can save that for another book. ;-)
Please enjoy this wonderful book and all the insight it provides. You really will see an improvement once you implement it in your life.
Top international reviews
I cannot understand that people think this is an interesting read, his use of „I“ (all the time) does not only make this book seem like it is stroking his ego, it also makes it all sound like a personal journal, rather than a research funded self help book. Total disappointment, to be returned asap
This book shows you how to do that.
I do recommend this book. I just wish that there would have been maybe 1-2 other tips on how to improve communication within relationships. I guess I will buy another book.