Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting Hardcover – April 8, 2014
|New from||Used from|
Frequently Bought Together
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
“Beware of Mom: She bites. Karen is crass and abrasive and makes no apologies, nor should she. Her take on family life is funny, filthy and familiar... Reading her stories will make you laugh so hard...your head will explode.” (Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink and Swear)
From the Back Cover
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting—I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
From the Publisher
There are a Lot of Reasons I Wrote This Book, I Mean, Besides Money by Karen Alpert
When I had my daughter I remember looking down at my newborn and thinking there’s a reason God made babies ridiculously cute. So we wouldn’t give them away. Or eat them. Because having a kid is like the hardest thing on earth. I mean yeah it’s super rewarding and you can’t help but loving them to pieces, but no one ever tells you before you have kids just how difficult it’s going to be. And you’d never know it from looking at Facebook or Pinterest. You’d think that having kids is all hunky dory and awesome and smiley, like unicorns flying over rainbows. Wait, unicorns don’t fly. Fine, unicorns with wings. But I digress. So this is why I wrote this book. To let parents everywhere know that they are not alone. That parenting is hard for everyone. Being preggers, breastfeeding, tantrums, explosive blowout diapers, bedtimes, naptimes, scraping projectile vomit off the ceiling, scraping projectile poop off the wall, the terrible twos, the terrible threes, the terrible fours, etc etc etc. Okay, pardon me while I get all serious for a moment here. Picture a mom who just had a baby for the first time. Her hormones are bouncing off the walls like a pinball machine that’s being played by a kid who just chugged four Red Bulls, her nipples feel like they’re being eaten by fire ants, and her new baby hasn’t let her sleep more than two straight hours in the past three weeks. This little tiny being is constantly with her, and yet she’s never felt so alone. This is the reason I wrote this book. Picture a mom standing in the middle of a supermarket where her kid is literally going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs because she won’t buy them, and everyone in the store is staring at her like she is the worst parent on earth. This is the reason I wrote this book. Picture a mom looking at the clock figuring out that she has exactly 84 minutes until her husband comes home from work. Or a dad knowing he has exactly 176 days until his wife comes home from Afghanistan. Or a mom doing it all alone day after day after day because she’s single. This is the reason I wrote this book. Kids are awesome. We love them to death and once we have them we can’t imagine life without them. But they’re also little a-holes who torture us on a daily basis and make us feel like we’re doing it all wrong. This is the reason I wrote this book. To make people laugh and feel a little less alone in the impossible, awesome, horrendous, amazing, challenging, exciting, disgusting, unbelievable job of being a parent.
Top Customer Reviews
Thanks for the laugh, lady, and everyone else: buy TWO copies. You'll definitely want to give one to your moms as a thank you/I'm sorry gift ;-)
Back in my less jaded parenting days, I wrote a Facebook post in which I didn't understand how anyone could like a book like that. There are real cases of child abuse and sad tales of infertility - shouldn't we cherish every moment we have with our little love bugs? Well, then I had another baby. And my older daughter turned 3. And suddenly I understood that this kind of humor is a coping mechanism for crazed parents. Because if we don't laugh, we will never stop crying.
The reason I gave this 4 stars instead of 5 is that it felt like much of the material was recycled from her blog. Still hilarious and worth buying, but if you are an avid reader of the blog you will feel like you read many of these stories before.
Hilarious, mouth dropping humor!
This book would be great for someone who didn't follow her or read her blog because most all of the stories in this book are the same ones that she's written on her blog. Because of that, I was reading things that I had already read. I'm really disappointed. I thought that these would be all new things that she was writing about, but it wasn't.
This would make a fantastic gift for a new parent, or just one who doesn't actively read her blog.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This books will fill you with laughs, I would highly recommend it :)Published 1 day ago by J.Tollefson
The author, Karen, sees the funny side of parenting but I find the constant use of expletives, or abbreviations of the same, to be distracting and unnecessary. Read morePublished 13 days ago by Kate
This book is hysterical. So glad I bought it. Makes my busy day being a mom feel like I am not alone with all the crazy stuff that happens with little ones.Published 23 days ago by Ryan Duplex
Absolutely hilarious- I bought this for two of my friends as a first mother's day present. I decided to read a few pages before I gave it to them and ended up not being able to put... Read morePublished 1 month ago by Danny