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The Heart Too Long Suppressed: A Chronicle of Mental Illness by [Carol Hebald, Dr. Thomas S. Szasz]

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Carol Hebald

The Heart Too Long Suppressed: A Chronicle of Mental Illness Kindle Edition

by Carol Hebald (Author), Dr. Thomas S. Szasz (Foreword) Format: Kindle Edition

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Following a psychiatrist's prediction that it was only a question of time before she committed suicide, something inside Carol Hebald clicked. Thirteen years later, the forty-four-year-old former actress threw her medication into the ocean, an act that would have panicked the dozens of doctors and friends who had witnessed her mental problems over three decades. Symbolic of her rupture with therapy, that act may have saved her life.

This beautifully crafted memoir tells of Hebald's spiral into mental illness from the late 1930s through the 1970s and the role hospitals and therapists played in that descent. She describes the frightening blur between reality and fantasy that fueled her childhood imagination, and recounts episodes of sexual and emotional abuse. By adolescence, acting had become both her life's ambition and a defense mechanism to create emotions she otherwise could not feel.

While pursuing a promising career on the New York stage in the 1950s and 1960s, Hebald, seeking someone to trust with her story, went from one therapist to the next. After a breakdown, subsequent hospitalizations, and struggles with mis-diagnoses, medications, and shock treatments, one thing became clear: Hebald still had an inner voice. Learning to trust and exercise that voice through writing became central to her recovery.

Hebald's compelling memoir reads like a novel, with painful experiences described in bold, even humorous, detail. From abortion, to marriage, to gender bias, Hebald engages social issues confronting late twentieth-century women and questions the treatment of mental illness. This is a disturbing yet inspiring tale of transcendence for anyone who has battled authority for the control of one's mind.

Print length

256 pages
Language

English
Sticky notes

On Kindle Scribe
Publication date

May 4, 2001
File size

1007 KB
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

After a lifetime of mental illness, marked by repeated suicide attempts and hospitalizations, and a parade of ineffectual psychiatrists, Hebald, at the age of 44, threw her pharmacopoeia into the ocean and walked away from therapy. Since then, she has lived mostly free from madness, managing to earn her living as a writing teacher and to produce this cathartic memoir of her sexual and emotional abuse. Closer to her father than her mother, Hebald was devastated at age five when he died of cancer. Years later, in therapy, she remembered that he "made love" to her on his deathbed. Physically abused by her older sister, Hebald found no ally in their babysitter, who locked her in dark closets while Hebald's mother took over the family business. Hebald's only escape, at the age of six, was to go to the movies alone, inviting men in the theater to "play" with her, so she could experience the pleasure she had with her father. Her schooling was a disaster; by her early teens, Hebald was unable to recognize or express her feelings. One of her therapists noted Hebald's difficulty in distinguishing fantasy from reality; her readers may also find some of her story hard to believe. Her wholesale repudiation of psychiatry, though understandable given such experiences, may seem extreme to many readers. Yet Hebald's writing is smooth, her narrative is gripping and her eventual recovery provides an inspirational ending to her harrowing tale. (May 23) Forecast: Hebald's book combines solid prose with an Oprah-esque saga of overcoming adversity. Author publicity will help this book, especially given its inspirational ending.

--This text refers to the hardcover edition.

Review

"In this emotionally moving, brutally honest, and rewarding memoir, Carol Hebald’s writing is filled with vivid imagery and colorful characterizations." -- Confrontation, no.76/77, Fall/Winter 2002, by Lee Mhatre

Carol Hebald's enthralling story of personal success constitutes a troubling insider's story of the mental health industry. -- Booknews

Hebald's writing is very rich and deep, holding you onto every word. You won't be disappointed with this one. -- Lisa at Bookreviewcafe.com September 11, 2003

Of all the rants against psychiatric labeling...I've yet to see someone put so starkly the illness of the normies. -- Paul Scott at Readerville.com September 11, 2003

Of memoirs of madness Hebald's inscribes itself on the heart. Beyond brilliant, it's transcendent. -- The Hollins Critic, February, 2004

THE HEART TOO LONG SUPPRESSED is a courageous, creative and disturbing memoir of one woman's battles with mental illness. -- Deborah Straw at Curledup.com September 11, 2003 --This text refers to the hardcover edition.

About the Author

Carol Hebald was a former Associate Professor of English at the University of Kansas.

Carol Hebald was an actress for twelve years both on and off Broadway. A former Associate Professor of English at the University of Kansas, she is the author of Three Blind Mice: Two Short Novels and the play Martha. Her poems and short stories have appeared in numerous anthologies and literary reviews. She lives in New York City. Thomas S. Szasz, M.D. is Professor of Psychiatry, Emeritus, at Syracuse University. He is the author of The Myth of Mental Illness. --This text refers to the hardcover edition.

From Library Journal

The rocky road from childhood victimization in the 1940s to self-acceptance and recovery in middle age is documented in this stirring memoir. Self-destructive impulses and a desire to expand her emotional range led Hebald to delve into psychoanalysis. Rather than help her become a well-adjusted person, the experience transformed her into a "professional patient" who was told that she was a likely candidate for suicide and would need psychiatric drugs for the rest of her life. Despite hospitalizations for her illness, the author managed careers in acting (on and off Broadway), teaching (former associate professor of English, Univ. of Kansas), and writing (Three Blind Mice: Two Short Novels), though her personal life was more clouded. Frank but somewhat ambivalent about her early abusers, Hebald boldly critiques traditional ideas about mental illness based on the treatment that she received. The range and rich details of her life experiences make this book very readable as well as significant for its insights into the stark limitations and subtly inhumane aspects of modern psychiatry. Recommended for large public libraries and all psychology collections. Antoinette Brinkman, formerly with the Southwest Indiana Mental Health Ctr. Lib., Evansville
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the hardcover edition.

Review

"One day we may look back on perilous journeys like Hebald's and recognize that certain people were forerunners toward the next stage of heart and mind evolution. Carol Hebald is a heroine herself, this tale of transcendence makes clear." (Gail Godwin, author of Heart: A Personal Journey Through Its Myths and Meanings) --This text refers to the hardcover edition.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B007RH5QW6
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Northeastern University Press; 1st edition (May 4, 2001)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ May 4, 2001
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 1007 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 256 pages

Best Sellers Rank: #2,573,010 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #2,757 in Biographies of Medical Professionals (Kindle Store)
- #8,195 in Medical Professional Biographies
- #36,919 in Memoirs (Kindle Store)

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Carol Hebald

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A graduate of New York's High School of Performing Arts, Carol Hebald played the following roles on the off Broadway stage: Edelgard in the award-winning Equity Library Theatre production of Christa Winsloe's MAEDCHEN IN UNIFORM; Hanako in the American premiere of Yukio Mishima's HANJO (Anta Matinee Series at Theatre De Lys); and Pegeen Mike in the Irish Players' production of PLAYBOY OF THE WESTERN WORLD. On Broadway she played Lucia in THE BEST HOUSE IN NAPLES, and Leah in JANE EYRE.

In 1965 she enrolled as a Freshman at the City College of CUNY, where she studied full time as an English Major. She received her B.A. in 1969: Phi Beta Kappa, magna cum laude, with High Honors in English. She was awarded also at CCNY the William Bradley Otis Fellowship for "Distinguished Contributions to American Literature" (1969), The Elias Lieberman Poetry Award (1969), The Ralph Weinberg Poetry Award (1968), and the Theodore Goodman Short Story Award (1968). Subsequently granted a Teaching and Writing Fellowship in Fiction Writing at the Iowa Writers' Workshop in 1970. She received her M.F.A. in 1971. Having taught Creative Writing at the university level for the next thirteen years, she resigned a tenured associate professorship in English at University of Kansas in 1984 to write full time.

Her novel, A WARSAW CHRONICLE, was published by Regal House Press in 2017. Recipient of the 2017 Miriam Chaikin Writing Award, A WARSAW CHRONCLE also received the 1993-94 HarperCollins nomination for the Editors' Book Award Pushcart Prize. Her book-length poem, DELUSION OF GRANDEUR was published by Turning Point Press in April 2016. In October 2015, Finishing Line Press published her chapbook of poems, COLLOQUY. In 2005 March Street Press published her full-length poetry collection, SPINSTER BY THE SEA. In 2004 March Street Press brought out her poetry chapbook, LITTLE MONOLOGS. In May, 2001 Northeastern University Press published her memoir, THE HEART TOO LONG SUPPRESSED. In 1989 Unicorn Press published her THREE BLIND MICE/TWO SHORT NOVELS for which she received the 1987-88 McGraw-Hill Pushcart Prize nomination; for development of the manuscript, a 1978 creative writing grant from the University of Kansas' Research Fund, and a 1976 77 grant from the Wisconsin Arts Board. A complete list of reviews of, and excerpts from, her books are on her Website: http://www.CarolHebald.com.

Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5

18 global ratings

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2 star		12%
1 star		12%

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LindaH

A Testament to Strength and Courage

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 20, 2012

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Blown away by the sheer magnitude of childhood problems. But as another reader pointed out there was not a lot of oversight in those years. As long as you had parents no one was going to care if they were rapists or psychopaths. There was no one to talk to and no where to go. It is no wonder Carol was dissociative, that was actually a healthy response to the hell of her life. It is probably the tool that built her brilliant artistry as actor and later poet/writer. That other realm of being gave her access to some ray of hope, a deep understanding of the human condition, and a depth of feeling.
That she survived at all is miraculous, many don't. It takes a strength and innate knowledge of your own worth to have the faith that you are worth saving, that you have a unique voice and value in the world. I also lived in 1950's and 1960's, and it was in many ways brutal towards women (we were all hysterical). The honesty of her story of abuse is also stunning. My first awareness of Carol's talent was her book 'Spinster by the Sea' I still keep picking it up and reading it every once in a while. It is not one of those books you read and then store in your bookcase for the next 20 years. It is sort of a living thing. This book is a gift that you should give yourself. A heartbreaking tale of brutality and beauty (Ying and Yang). Can't wait for the next poetry installment.
Thanks Carol

2 people found this helpful

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Victoria Blankenship

Pioneering Work of Self Understanding

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 26, 2014

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Carol Hebald's memoir of her early life that had centered on schitzophrenia is important on many counts: she offers companionship for those who share her experience when she regards mental illness as just another one -- if painful -- of life's challenges. She exposes her own contributions to some of her failures and finally recognizes her will as the means to escaping a psychiatric industry based on little understood generalizations. Carol, though warned that if she did not take her medications everyday she might commit suicide, was willing to take the chance for a better life.

Now decades later, a prominant group of psychiatrists wrote in the New York Times early in 2014 that patients need such medications when mental disorders first appear, often in adolescence as Carol's did. However, many patients as they approache middle age, can live normal lives without medication. Carol knew this intuitively by examining her own processes. She found an inner strength to think for herself when the professionals were clouding her mind. This is a pioneering work of self understanding, the most difficult and universal goal in writing.

2 people found this helpful

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Winston Sheldon

A Courageous and Remarkable Work

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 8, 2010

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This is a remarkable work - I don't think I've ever read anything quite like it. I was, first, impressed by Carol Hebald's raw openness and courage in writing it, and appalled as many other readers and reviewers were by the misdiagnoses and ego-driven blindness of her supposed analysts. Even more inspiring was the thread of the struggling artist running through her entire history, finally emerging in full force toward the end. But I think the real power of the work was how she captured mental illness - I hope she will accept that term - itself. It was like reading a journal of an alternate reality, a dream-life, fully detailed and explored and exposed. Her capturing in such detail and openness and honesty the lacerating pain of everything she experienced is itself a full expression of her genius, artistry, and quiet triumph as a human being. At the end I felt thankful to her for writing it, and for sharing it with us.

3 people found this helpful

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Marian Janssen

Powerful, brave book

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 5, 2011

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This is a powerful, gripping book. I was very much moved by it, moved by the author's courage, moved by the book's lyricism, wrenched from the heart. This brave book about Hebald's conquering her awful childhood and mind-numbing misdiagnosis will stay with me. I should add that I met the kind and courteous author once, when I interviewed her for my biography about Isabella Gardner, like Hebald an actress and poet with a difficult childhood. [ASIN:0826218989 Not at All What One Is Used To: The Life and Times of Isabella Gardner]

2 people found this helpful

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Dylan

Not Relevant for Today

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 20, 2013

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The woman in the book was treated in 'old school' psychoanalysis which can actually cause harm, as it did in Hebald's case. She wasn't ever schizophrenic. She had a difficult childhood, like many people, and this is the bizarre story of the shrinks and analysts she worked with, along with descriptions of her promiscuity and an attempt at an acting career.

Unless you're looking for an anecdotal account of being troubled and the treatments used in the past (Freudian analysis, etc.), I wouldn't bother. I found it irrelevant and boring.

One person found this helpful

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emr

Genius!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 3, 2013

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I read this book and it was heartbreaking but inspiring. Childhood stories are the most interesting to me, our experiences shape us so much. Carol Hebald is a courageous writer with a strong voice.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 6, 2012

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This is a book of adolescent confusion from a borderline personality, does not have a literary value.
She describes the consequences of her sexual abuse at young age but it is repetitious and pointless. I do agree, it is a story of author's mental illness, in a form of a semi-journal, but I don't understand why it made it into a publication.

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Amazon Customer

A good Bio, with much feeling and character

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on August 15, 2016

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Very insightful. A good Bio, with much feeling and character, an very interesting read.