Hellacious Acres: The Case of John Glass
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John Glass wakes up in a desolated barn from a long cryogenic slumber to be informed that not only the planet has been devastated by a third world war, but reduced to little habitability by a subsequent alien invasion. He also learns that in order to reestablish a livable atmosphere for what's left of humanity, he'll have to go on a solitary mission to retrieve important codes dispersed in remote locations. Soon enough, he'll encounter more than he bargained for: aliens, crazy survivors, inadequate equipment, LOTS of walking and a pretty unhealthy dose of bad luck.
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It isn't a comedy, or horror, or sci-fi movie. It's a despair movie. The awful despair of a senseless hostile world that no one would ask to be part of. Absurdity that makes you laugh to keep from crying. It is a tale of the human condition: brutal and insane. Camus would run off a cliff after this movie, screaming about what a waste of time L'Etranger was.
Watching this movie will damage you, and not just through it's plot, imagery and music. Even the pacing will make you realize how much of your life you've pissed away and how little it matters that you even exist. You'll laugh, cry, scream, want your money back and eventually accept it's dark lessons. You will not survive watching it, but something new will walk away wearing your skin.
So yah, I guess I'd say I really liked it.
First we meet Jo Slacker who whines and complains about his situation and during the process causes problems for himself such as destroying his navigation/information arm piece computer. In comes Jimmy BeardGuy who whines and complains even more then gets liquefied by an alien. Jo Slacker then pulls off Jimmy BeardGuy's arm with the computer intact and listens to Jimmy BeardGuy's whining audio logs while continuing to whine about his own mission. Long story short, the movie goes nowhere and takes almost 2 hours to get there. Jo Slacker fails to complete any part of his mission and is witness to the destruction of the device that will help restore the planet. Jo Slacker is then liquefied by two aliens (thank God he did not breed first). This ends the movie other than a fat half naked man running through a dead landscape. This movie has no redeeming value: no acting, no plot, no special effects, no lesson (except that Jimmy BeardGuy and Jo Slacker live up to their loser reputations), and no point. I have to say it was a complete waste of $10.00 thus the poor rating. Save your money on this one and use it to take a chance on some other piece of crap.