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How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful Paperback – November 24, 2010
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-Earl D. Wilson, PhD., author Steering Clear, & Restoring the Fallen
"This is the most succinct collection of wisdom for helping the unfaithful that I have seen for couples trying to pick up the pieces of their lives after affairs."
-Lance Brown, M.A., Minister of Care, Chapel Hill Presbyterian
From the Inside Flap
"Some of the steps were incredibly difficult to go through, but every time they proved effective. All I can say now is that the path that the book put me on was God's path for me and the healing of my spouse. I am forever grateful for the insight that it has given me to climb out of the darkest days of my life into the greatest time of our marriage."
--Greg (former client, name changed to protect his privacy)
Top Customer Reviews
This book is primarily meant for the cheating spouse who wants to try to salvage their marriage. In the early days there are lots of things that need to be done, and then there's a lot that needs to be done over the long haul. This book can help the cheating spouse see what steps they are going to need to make and the things they will have to do and sacrifice if they want any real hope of saving their marriage and salvaging the spouse they have shamed and ruined.
This is book isn't bad for the wounded spouse. It will let you know that the crazy feelings and thoughts you have apparently are quite normal. If you read it WITH your adulterous spouse it can serve as the platform for you to discuss with your spouse what you are going through and/or allow you to point out or highlight things that you have been wondering or feeling but just didn't know how to say or express.
This book has greatly bolstered my hope that my husband and I can work through this. He did so many of the "right" things from the get go without even having knowledge of the book that I know we're on the right track.
Simply put, I asked him to buy it about three weeks after discovering his affair. He bought it. He read it. Cried over it. Tried to live by it.
The reason I think it helped was it helps the cheater see things from the betrayed spouse's perspective. This is crucial because the balance has been so off kilter during the months/years of the affair, with the cheater often thinking only about his or her own needs and feelings. If that person wants back into the marriage, it's essential that he or she come face to face with the impact of the affair on the spouse and do his or her best to fix the balance of power in the relationship.
It helped because my husband really took it to heart.
If you are reading this review, it's because your marriage has been wounded by an affair. Good luck. Be strong.
When I found the title of this book on Amazon my husband and I were 6 months post his final confession. I had endured 11 months of the trickle effect....the last lie coming out before a lie detector test. After his test he was euphoric, he felt clean and renewed. He didn't understand why I couldn't move forward w/ him? Why my pain was still so great? This book was ME! It was every e-mail i'd sent him, every letter i had writen, every journal entry. I underlined nearly every paragraph of this book and handed it to him. He read it...and then he SAW me! Finally! He got it and understood the depth of my pain and then began the process of renewal. I cannot say enough about this short manual. If you have had infidelity in your marriage, you must read this! Thank you Linda Macdonald!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
As a therapist I only recommend resources that I know will hit the target for my clients and help them in a very practical way navigate the pain they are dealing with. Read morePublished 2 days ago by Lance B Brown
This was not written well, the writing is very "forced" and spoke it terms of what should have been avoided, more than what could help now.Published 8 days ago by Kindle Customer
This is a wonderful book. It is clear and to the point. It benefited my husband and I greatly. Buy this!Published 1 month ago by HappyMom
If you're hurting from infidelity, I recommend reading as many books as possible and getting as much encouragement as possible.... you need it, its a hard road to travel!Published 1 month ago by Mo
It was mean spirited and cruel. I didn't even let him read it. The author must be very bitter. He made a mistake, it's not okay to demean him for it.Published 2 months ago by richard and erin
An easy read with helpful information. Definitely more beneficial and geared towards the unfaithful partner but both parties can gain insight.Published 2 months ago by K. Ring