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Helping Your Child Overcome Separation Anxiety or School Refusal: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents Paperback – June 6, 2006
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Eisen and Engler have written an outstanding guide for parents of children who suffer from separation anxiety or school refusal. This well-written book is the first of its type, describing practical, step-by-step strategies similar to those that have been studied extensively in anxiety research centers around the world. In addition to being a valuable resource for parents, this book will be very useful to teachers and mental health practitioners who work with anxious children.<
—Martin M. Antony, Ph.D., ABPP, director of the Anxiety Treatment and Research Centre at St. Joseph's Healthcare and professor in the Departments of Psychiatry and Behavioural Neurosciences at McMaster University, both in Hamilton, ON
Separation anxiety can derail a child's normal development at any age. Moreover, it can make life miserable for that child's parents and family-not only the child. This book helps parents navigate the murky waters of separation anxiety by giving them a roadmap and a set of proven and effective strategies to help them deal with it and, yes, even to prevent it. In the hands of caring and motivated parents, it is a veritable tour de force. It is a well written, engaging, and eminently practical book. Parents (and their separation anxious children) will be thanking Eisen and Engler for years to come for their sage and helpful advice.
—Thomas H. Ollendick, Ph.D., university distinguished professor and director of the Child Study Center in the Department of Psychology at the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in Blacksburg, VA
A highly user-friendly guide to help parents understand how to help children cope more effectively with separation anxiety and school refusal. Eisen and Engler are true leaders in the field of child anxiety. Their use of real life case illustrations really brings these evidence based skills home to parents and children. I would highly recommend this book to our own patients, to parents, to clinicians or graduate students working with children and families, and to all others who want to understand specific ways to help children with anxiety issues in ways that promotes their positive development.<
—Donna B. Pincus, Ph.D., research associate professor and director of the Child and Adolescent Fear and Anxiety Treatment Program in the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University
Eisen and Engler provide straightforward advice for parents of a child who is afraid of separation or afraid of school. Separation anxiety is a typical step in development for most children, but when it is interfering and present in older youngsters, then it merits attention. This step-by-step approach for parents, potentially used in conjunction with a therapist, offers sound advice and guidance that is consistent with the research evidence. The book is well-informed, organized, readable, and rich with examples.<
—Philip C. Kendall, Ph.D., ABPP, Laura H. Carnell Professor of Psychology and Director of the Child and Adolescent Anxiety Disorders Clinic at Temple University in Philadelphia, PA
Eisen and Engler have provided a wealth of information for parents about the do's and don'ts of helping their child with separation anxiety or school refusal . Clear, easy language, practical exercises, and real life examples are all based on the authors' hands-on experience and scientifically proven methods. This book is an essential resource for parents who are stuck in the binds produced by a separation anxious child and for therapists who are trying to provide an empirically validated program.
—Ronald M. Rapee, Ph.D., director of the Macquarie University Anxiety Research Unit and author of Helping Your Anxious Child
Eisen and Engler have written a clear, detailed guide for parents who are striving to support each child's autonomy and confidence. Supported by research and clinical insight, this book offers specific strategies to help children achieve healthy separation, while respectfully acknowledging the emotional lives of children and the need for parents to take care of themselves. Parenting is the most humbling effort, and this book supports this most important relationship in a child's life.
—Gerard Costa, Ph.D., director of the YCS Institute for Infant and Preschool Mental Health in East Orange, NJ
From the Publisher
Written by a child anxiety expert, this is the first parenting book to focus specifically on separation anxiety disorder, providing parents with the skills they need to cope with distressing challenges such as tantrums, nightmares, inconsolable crying, and screaming that occur during times of separation.
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I gave the book a good try, reading more than half of it. There are no new ideas to give kids skills to work with. Instead it promotes having the child face and endure their fear and from that they are suppose to learn that they survived, nothing bad happened, and they will then be fine. Well my daughter has been going to school for 3 years, facing her fear, knowing she survived just fine, and still has anxiety. So obviously that method doesn't work for all.
It also makes the parent cater to the child's needs in ways that are impractical at best and impossible at worst. Examples include promising your child that you will not leave the house at all while your child is at school and getting a pillow and blanket and sleeping in the hallway so your child feels comfortable staying in bed. Like I said I was really looking for skills and tools to give my daughter to use with us being the guidance and support, something this book does not offer. I found better ideas on Pinterest (search for the calm down jar - that's helping us).
I gave this book only four stars because while it is easy for a clinician to read and fill in the behavior modification and coping skill gaps they left out, it will not be so easy for many parents.
Parents who have anxious children are advised to get this book, but share it with a trained clinician/therapist. It is helpful in that it gives you an idea of what your child's anxious situations and behaviors are, how you have been handling them as a parent (personality type) and what safety situations your children prefer. It will be easier to implement with a trained person who can give you even further techniques, feedback and moral support when you need it.