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The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation Paperback – April 1, 2007
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"This is a long awaited book! Fruzzetti is a master clinician who does rigorous science in order to provide those of us doing treatment and those in need of it something that works. This is hope for all of us working with individuals, couples and families who suffer. Thank you, Alan, for this timely and important work."
—Suzanne Witterholt, MD, distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Associationand director of Ananda Services for Dialectical Behavior Therapy in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Minnesota
"Fruzzetti is a leader in work with high-conflict couples and families. This much-awaited book provides an opportunity to learn his techniques and strategies, presented in his unique teaching style that is so effective. The book is a must for every DBT program as well as all those working within the field."
—Perry D. Hoffman, Ph.D., president of the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder, New York
"A warm and professional guide following in the tradition of acceptance and compassion. A book on how to handle love and stay connected even in difficult circumstances. We have waited for it!"
—Anna Kåver, psychologist and author with Karolinska Hospital, Stockholm, Sweden
"The High Conflict Couple performs a major public service. Fruzzetti's approach starts with an important principle: that dysregulated emotions are the core difficulty for high-conflict couples. From this he provides step-by-step practical methods designed to enhance acceptance, intimacy, and communication based on the latest research regarding emotion regulation and his own vast experience in working with couples and families. In essence, this is an excellent book, useful for both clinicians and couples regardless of the severity of their difficulties."
—Thomas R. Lynch, Ph.D., associate professor in the Departments of Psychiatry and Psychology and Neuroscience and director of the Cognitive Behavior Research and Treatment Program at Duke University
From the Publisher
- Publisher : New Harbinger Publications; 1st edition (April 1, 2007)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 192 pages
- ISBN-10 : 157224450X
- ISBN-13 : 978-1572244504
- Item Weight : 9.5 ounces
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #13,633 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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Top reviews from the United States
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While it is normal to want to be close and attached to one's spouse, the person who has been abused in the past is conflicted in both wanting and fearing closeness. This is the source of the alternating clingy and angry behaviors. A person who really puts DBT into practice can make remarkable progress. For those of you married to people with BPD, recognize that, while they will always be somewhat emotional and dramatic, this can make life with them quite interesting. The point I want to stress is that DBT can help them greatly decrease their more distressing behaviors.
There is a lot of misinformation out there about BPD, and even some therapists who should know better see it as a stigma. The good thing about this book is that it never mentions borderline personality disorder except in the bibliography. So you can use it to work with your BPD spouse without labeling him or her as the "sick one."
Relationships are a continuing work, not an end point. I think the book makes a lot of sense, but the application of the ideas is an on going struggle.
Be aware, in my opinion, this is a hard high-level book to understand. Being Ph.D. and completing most of known books on relationships, this book was not as easy to master as Gary Chapman's excellent books. It is like Quantum Mechanics of Relationship Psychology. I believe that there are 3 prerequisites.
1. Be willing to change your own behavior. This is 90% of work. You can later teach your partner concepts of this book using Accurate Expressions.
2. Understand the process of Mindfulness and use it routinely with your thoughts, spoken words and actions.
3. Master Marsha Linehan's DBT training manual book because this book is based on using DBT skills.
I got great help from my therapist who was trained in DBT. It is worth time and money to get help from professionals or friends so that you can better understand how to use methods described in this book.
Top reviews from other countries
Would like to see more work on DBT for domestic violence.
In short, observe yourself, oberserve your partner. Don't get riled up and don't wind your partner up. If you watch things dispassionately you can decrease the unnecessary excitement and get along.
It is described more articulately and worth a read.