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His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage Hardcover – February 1, 2011
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From the Inside Flap
The Best Book on Marriage Is Better Than Ever!
In this classic bestseller Willard F. Harley, Jr., identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs.
This revised and expanded edition has been updated throughout and includes new writing that highlights the special significance of intimate emotional needs in marriage.|Willard F. Harley, Jr., is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including Five Steps to Romantic Love, Love Busters, and His Needs, Her Needs for Parents. His popular website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem. Dr. Harley and his wife, Joyce, host a daily radio call-in show, Marriage Builders. They live in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
From the Back Cover
What will it take to make your marriage sizzle?
Time after time, His Needs, Her Needs has topped the charts as the best marriage book available. More than any other, this book helps husbands and wives give each other what they need most in marriage.
The millions of couples who have read His Needs, Her Needs have learned to keep the romance alive, and they are recommending it to others. Join those who have seen spectacular changes in their marriages by following Dr. Harley's tried and proven counsel. You will discover that an outstanding marriage can be more than a dream--it can be your reality.
What couples are saying about His Needs, Her Needs:
"My new husband and I were having trouble adjusting to marriage. I read the book and immediately things began to improve."
"It is the best book on marriage I have ever read."
"I have recommended this book to every one of my friends. It should become a staple in every house."
"I can't believe how peaceful and loving our marriage has become since reading this book. We went from being at the brink of divorce to experiencing the same love and excitement as when we first met."
Millions have already discovered the power of this book. Isn't it time you did as well?
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Top Customer Reviews
Dr. Harley shows the five top-order emotional needs of men and women and how each can meet the other's needs, in the context of 'affair-proofing' your marriage. Also, what stood out for me was that these needs are VERY different and therefore requires understanding, patience and WORK. But what you can begin to experience after reading this book, understanding the concepts, accepting and applying them, can make your relationship PHENOMENAL. My fiance and I have become closer and our interactions with each other have significantly improved our relationship (more love 'deposits' in our love banks - go read it for yourself!). Also, I found some of Dr. Harley's videos on youtube.com: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGjriUcN39Q - This is the first in a six video series. I sent these to a couple of my colleagues, and they have nothing but the most outstanding reviews to give on these videos and want to purchase the book.
Thank you Amazon for making this available!... and please... we want more! :)
According to this book, one of the main goals of marriage is to focus on fulfilling the needs of your spouse. It doesn't work if both spouses try to solve their own needs. This results in both people being unhappy. The husband needs to focus on the needs of his wife and the wife needs to focus on the needs of her husband. This takes a lot of work!
There are five main needs that are focused on for both men and women:
A Wife’s Top Five Needs
o Intimate Conversation
o Honesty and Openness
o Financial Support
o Family Commitment
A Husband’s Top Five Needs
o Sexual Fulfillment
o Recreational Companionship
o Physical Attractiveness
o Domestic Support
These lists do not describe every husband or wife’s top five needs. However, most men and women have similar rankings. There are other needs that are discussed in the book but these ones are talked about more in depth.
One of the other main things discussed in this book is how often affairs occur. Author Willard Harley, Jr. says that the reason why affairs happen is because the needs of one spouse are not being met. When that person meets someone who does start meeting those needs, they fall in love with them. In order to make your marriage affair-proof, you need to make sure you are fulfilling the needs of your spouse.
What this book did well:
Explaining the differences between the needs that men and women have. Men and women are different! We need to be aware of this. Just because you like something doesn't mean that your spouse likes it too.
What this book did not do well:
The author made it seem like the spouse who wasn't meeting the needs of the other is the one responsible for the affair. I don't know if he meant for it to sound this way, but it did. While that spouse may be partly responsible, the one who committed the affair is the one responsible for the greater sin.
It made it seem like if the needs of one spouse aren't met, they will definitely go have an affair. It should have been worded, "an affair MAY occur" rather than "an affair WILL occur."