Buy new:
$24.00$24.00
FREE delivery: Nov 25 - 28 on orders over $25.00 shipped by Amazon.
Ships from: Amazon Sold by: wisdom tree
Buy used:: $9.92
Other Sellers on Amazon
+ $5.79 shipping
96% positive over last 12 months
& FREE Shipping
100% positive over last 12 months
& FREE Shipping
90% positive over last 12 months
Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required. Learn more
Read instantly on your browser with Kindle Cloud Reader.
Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.
His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage Paperback – February 1, 2011
| Price | New from | Used from |
|
Hardcover, Bargain Price
"Please retry" | $32.12 | $20.94 |
|
Audio CD, Audiobook, CD, Unabridged
"Please retry" | — | $83.51 |
Explore your book, then jump right back to where you left off with Page Flip.
View high quality images that let you zoom in to take a closer look.
Enjoy features only possible in digital – start reading right away, carry your library with you, adjust the font, create shareable notes and highlights, and more.
Discover additional details about the events, people, and places in your book, with Wikipedia integration.
Enhance your purchase
This revised and expanded edition has been updated throughout and includes new writing that highlights the special significance of intimate emotional needs in marriage.
- Print length240 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherRevell
- Publication dateFebruary 1, 2011
- Dimensions6.5 x 0.75 x 9.5 inches
- ISBN-100800719387
- ISBN-13978-0800719388
The Amazon Book Review
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.
Frequently bought together

More items to explore
From the Publisher
This book gets right to the heart of what makes marriages work.
This book will teach you where to put your greatest effort to create and sustain romantic love. Time after time, His Needs, Her Needs has topped the charts. More than any other, this book helps husbands and wives give each other what they need most in marriage.
What will it take to make your marriage sizzle?
Marriage is about more than just you. You may be surprised by what your spouse is looking for! Discover how to nurture a loving relationship and build a marriage that lasts.
Millions have already discovered the power of this book. Isn't it time you did as well?
Editorial Reviews
From the Inside Flap
In this classic bestseller Willard F. Harley, Jr., identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs.
This revised and expanded edition has been updated throughout and includes new writing that highlights the special significance of intimate emotional needs in marriage.|Willard F. Harley, Jr., is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including Five Steps to Romantic Love, Love Busters, and His Needs, Her Needs for Parents. His popular website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem. Dr. Harley and his wife, Joyce, host a daily radio call-in show, Marriage Builders. They live in White Bear Lake, Minnesota.
From the Back Cover
Time after time, His Needs, Her Needs has topped the charts as the best marriage book available. More than any other, this book helps husbands and wives give each other what they need most in marriage.
The millions of couples who have read His Needs, Her Needs have learned to keep the romance alive, and they are recommending it to others. Join those who have seen spectacular changes in their marriages by following Dr. Harley's tried and proven counsel. You will discover that an outstanding marriage can be more than a dream--it can be your reality.
What couples are saying about His Needs, Her Needs:
"My new husband and I were having trouble adjusting to marriage. I read the book and immediately things began to improve."
"It is the best book on marriage I have ever read."
"I have recommended this book to every one of my friends. It should become a staple in every house."
"I can't believe how peaceful and loving our marriage has become since reading this book. We went from being at the brink of divorce to experiencing the same love and excitement as when we first met."
Millions have already discovered the power of this book. Isn't it time you did as well?
About the Author
www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem. Dr. Harley and his wife, Joyce, host a three-hour live radio call-in show called Marriage Builders Radio and Marriage Builders Weekends across the country. They live in Minnesota.
Product details
- Publisher : Revell; Revised, Expanded edition (February 1, 2011)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 240 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0800719387
- ISBN-13 : 978-0800719388
- Item Weight : 1.13 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.5 x 0.75 x 9.5 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #71,573 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #44 in Sociology of Marriage & Family (Books)
- #529 in Marriage
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr. is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including His Needs, Her Needs; Five Steps to Romantic Love; Surviving an Affair; Draw Close; and He Wins, She Wins. Harley's much-loved book, His Needs, Her Needs, is also available with a video curriculum for churches and small groups. His popular website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem.
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonReviewed in the United States on May 12, 2015
-
Top reviews
Top reviews from the United States
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
According to this book, one of the main goals of marriage is to focus on fulfilling the needs of your spouse. It doesn't work if both spouses try to solve their own needs. This results in both people being unhappy. The husband needs to focus on the needs of his wife and the wife needs to focus on the needs of her husband. This takes a lot of work!
There are five main needs that are focused on for both men and women:
A Wife’s Top Five Needs
o Affection
o Intimate Conversation
o Honesty and Openness
o Financial Support
o Family Commitment
A Husband’s Top Five Needs
o Sexual Fulfillment
o Recreational Companionship
o Physical Attractiveness
o Domestic Support
o Admiration
These lists do not describe every husband or wife’s top five needs. However, most men and women have similar rankings. There are other needs that are discussed in the book but these ones are talked about more in depth.
One of the other main things discussed in this book is how often affairs occur. Author Willard Harley, Jr. says that the reason why affairs happen is because the needs of one spouse are not being met. When that person meets someone who does start meeting those needs, they fall in love with them. In order to make your marriage affair-proof, you need to make sure you are fulfilling the needs of your spouse.
What this book did well:
Explaining the differences between the needs that men and women have. Men and women are different! We need to be aware of this. Just because you like something doesn't mean that your spouse likes it too.
What this book did not do well:
The author made it seem like the spouse who wasn't meeting the needs of the other is the one responsible for the affair. I don't know if he meant for it to sound this way, but it did. While that spouse may be partly responsible, the one who committed the affair is the one responsible for the greater sin.
It made it seem like if the needs of one spouse aren't met, they will definitely go have an affair. It should have been worded, "an affair MAY occur" rather than "an affair WILL occur."
Dr. Harley shows the five top-order emotional needs of men and women and how each can meet the other's needs, in the context of 'affair-proofing' your marriage. Also, what stood out for me was that these needs are VERY different and therefore requires understanding, patience and WORK. But what you can begin to experience after reading this book, understanding the concepts, accepting and applying them, can make your relationship PHENOMENAL. My fiance and I have become closer and our interactions with each other have significantly improved our relationship (more love 'deposits' in our love banks - go read it for yourself!). Also, I found some of Dr. Harley's videos on youtube.com: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGjriUcN39Q - This is the first in a six video series. I sent these to a couple of my colleagues, and they have nothing but the most outstanding reviews to give on these videos and want to purchase the book.
Thank you Amazon for making this available!... and please... we want more! :)
By Nadine 007 on May 11, 2015
Dr. Harley shows the five top-order emotional needs of men and women and how each can meet the other's needs, in the context of 'affair-proofing' your marriage. Also, what stood out for me was that these needs are VERY different and therefore requires understanding, patience and WORK. But what you can begin to experience after reading this book, understanding the concepts, accepting and applying them, can make your relationship PHENOMENAL. My fiance and I have become closer and our interactions with each other have significantly improved our relationship (more love 'deposits' in our love banks - go read it for yourself!). Also, I found some of Dr. Harley's videos on youtube.com: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGjriUcN39Q - This is the first in a six video series. I sent these to a couple of my colleagues, and they have nothing but the most outstanding reviews to give on these videos and want to purchase the book.
Thank you Amazon for making this available!... and please... we want more! :)
Top reviews from other countries
That is absolutely not the case. Harley does not excuse anything. Though he does discuss and dissect affairs with complete objectivity, as is his job.
He shows exactly how the actions of both people in the marriage lead to affairs by a simple concept of depositing and withdrawing from “love bank accounts”. It makes complete sense.
I can only assume that these angry reviewers are unwilling to accept that their own behaviour contributes can lead to an affair.
Other reviewers complain about Harley saying women’s most important emotional needs are generally x and men’s are generally y.
The key here is “generally / in most cases” and he explicitly says in the book that there are exceptions. They key is to find what your partner’s most important emotional needs are, and form habits of meeting those needs.
This advice is so extraordinarily simple, and his Love Bank concept makes it very easy to understand.
I really cannot guess why anyone would give this book less than 5 stars. Except perhaps that they or their partner did not follow its guidance. Or their marriage failed anyway. Harley also makes it clear that once a marriage is affected by an affair, it is incredibly difficult to fix. In his words “some couples succeed, many do not”.
But his track record of success speaks for itself. And I can vouch for this book saving both my parents’ and my own marriage.
This book is easy to read and great to read together as a couple. It has enriched my marriage, I wish I had read it sooner.
.











