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Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love Hardcover – April 8, 2008
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"At last, a road map through Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with its creator. Dr. Johnson's superb science, humor, and clinical wisdom are finally accessible to all of us. I couldn't pick a smarter, warmer, and more real guide for this journey."―John Gottman, Ph.D., bestselling author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and coauthor of And Baby Makes Three
"There's something appealing about this book's honest, no-holds-barred approach. By creating complete emotional safety and by willing to be fearless about it, it seems to me, not only can real love be kept alive, it can flourish"―Boston Globe
Sue Johnson [is] the most original contributor to couples therapy to come along in the last 30 years. This book will touch your heart, stimulate your mind, and give you practical strategies for improving your marriage. It will be an instant classic.―William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage
Wonderful!...Hold Me Tight blends the best in research findings with practical suggestions from a caring and compassionate clinician. This fabulous book will be of great benefit...to couples trying to find their way to better communication and deeper, more fulfilling ways of being with each other. Bravo!―Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., author of Parenting from the Inside Out
A truly revolutionary, breakthrough book... the most important, valuable book for couples published in the 21st century.―Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., author of Getting It Right the First Time
About the Author
Top Customer Reviews
For people who want confirmation that their partner is "too clingy" or "too cold" or whatever, this is not the book for you. Nor is it a "why you should be strong and suck it up" book. It is about our basic needs, our need for at least one other adult human being to be there for us when we need it. It is about why we're wired up to be that way, what kinds of behaviors result from this hard-wiring, how things can go wrong, and how things can be fixed. At the heart of the book is Johnson's vision of us as all needing at least one refuge, one place of safety and support in an otherwise indifferent and cold universe. Unfortunately, for most people, marriage or an equivalent domestic relationship fails to provide this refuge because we keep misunderstanding our partner's needs and impulses - and very often we misunderstand our own too.Read more ›
Hold Me Tight illuminates for me more clearly how changing myself in relation to her dramatically changed our relationship. I needed to be more Accessible, Responsive and better Engage (I'm not going to spoil it for you or the author - you do need to read the book to get a good feel of what she means by each). Reading this book on it's own is plenty good, though I strongly recommend you read Bonds That Make Us Free as well.
My wife doesn't do personal growth books (or non-fiction in general) and didn't read either. The most interesting part is how her responses towards me changed, without any direction on my part i.e. I didn't tell or explain any of the theory or mechanics to her. She was simply reacting to my new ways of interacting with her, as if we'd started dancing to a much better, in-synched set of steps. Now it seems like we're doing almost all ups or plateaus, hardly any down time. Very nice.
Cas, author of Cassius Cheong's Positively Quit Manual
When all of the clever labels designed to help promote the brand are stripped away--"the demon dialogs," "freeze and flee," "hold me tight"--the advice comes down to this: communication with your partner in which you can be vulnerable, risk showing your frailties, and make yourself emotionally available should open the door to reciprocity by your partner and communication of deep emotional intensity, an opportunity for sharing, bonding, and building trust.
Communication in which partners are closed and defensive, on the other hand, closes the possibility for genuine emotional connection and can set off destructive spirals of recrimination and defensiveness, leading in turn to feelings of alienation and separation and, in the most severe case, dissolution of the relationship.
Any of us who has ever done "work" on ourselves or on our relationships has heard this before, and we understand the fundamental wisdom of trying to get in touch with ourselves, with our feelings, and of having the courage to give our partner access to those inner-most, most intimate places, to be willing to stand before our partner emotionally naked, trusting that they will not take advantage of our vulnerability, that they will not reject us, that they will, in a healthy relationship, embrace us.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Wish a previous therapist would have mentioned it several years ago. Very helpful! Read it 2 sittings ...now will go back to concentrate on specifics.Published 2 days ago by Claire Stern
Excellent. Really gives you a different perspective on emotional connections.Published 8 days ago by Amazon Customer
Tremendously insightful book! It really opened both mine and my husband's eyes to so many things about ourselves as individuals, that greatly impact the way we treat each other. Read morePublished 9 days ago by CRSmith
I like audio since I can listen while doing mindless things like washing dishes or folding clothes.Published 10 days ago by M. Kitts
This should be every couples roadmap to having their greatest love story come true!!!!Published 15 days ago by Amazon Customer
Helpful content. Like the Gottman model, this model has an evidence base showing better outcomes than standard marriage counseling. Read morePublished 18 days ago by Oh Brother
I like the psychology aspect of it as well as how the focus is on repairing the basic relationship, not training each other to address the surface problems.Published 18 days ago by Amazon Customer