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Maria Finn
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Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home Paperback – February 9, 2010

by Maria Finn (Author)
3.7 3.7 out of 5 stars 44 ratings
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Maria Finn's husband was cheating. First she threw him out. Then she cried. Then she signed up for tango lessons. It turns out that tango has a lot to teach about understanding love and loss, about learning how to follow and how to lead, how to live with style and flair, take risks, and sort out what it is you really want. As Maria's world begins to revolve around the friendships she makes in dance class and the milongas (social dances) she attends regularly in New York City, we discover with her the fascinating culture, history, music, moves, and beauty of the Argentine tango. With each new dance step she learns-the embrace, the walk, the sweep, the exit-she is one step closer to returning to the world of the living. Eventually Maria travels to Buenos Aires, the birthplace of tango, and finds the confidence to try romance again. As exhilarating as the dance itself, the story whirls us into the center of the ballroom dancing craze. And buoyed by the author's humor and passion, it imparts surprising insights about how to get on with life after you've lost in love.
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  1. Print length
    240 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Algonquin Books
  4. Publication date
    February 9, 2010
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.6 x 8.25 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1565125177
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1565125179
  8. See all details
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The Amazon Book Review
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Shaken by the discovery that her Cuban husband and salsa partner was having an affair, Finn, a contributor to New York magazine, embarked on learning to tango as a way of healing her broken heart, and chronicles her journey in this rather dry memoir. In tango, an Argentinean dance form originating in the immigrant neighborhoods and brothels of Buenos Aires, she tapped the sources of human sorrow and human happiness and found a safe comfort and intimacy among strangers. From standing on the sidelines watching the elegant, accomplished couples to plunging into her initial lessons at the South Street Seaport and attending her first milongas, or social dances, Finn had to connect with a series of constantly changing partners, some better at leading than others, and some more forgiving than others about her mistakes. Finn organizes her memoir around the tango steps—from la salida (the basic) through la caminata (the walk), la volcada (the fall), el boleo (the throw), all the way to el abrazo (the embrace)—which also cleverly mirror her stages of grief, from anger to acceptance. Sadly, her foray remains journalistically stilted rather than tango sensuous, and rarely warms the reader. Along with her personal story, involving a trip to a wedding in Buenos Aires and documenting there the gay tango scene, she nicely elucidates the evolution of the dance, through the music of Astor Piazzolla and Carlos Gardel, and traces briefly its flashpoints across the globe, from America to Finland and Turkey. (Feb.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

When she discovered her husband was cheating on her, New York City resident Finn wallowed in anger and grief—but not for long. She realized the quickest path to recovery was to get off her duff and dance. Finn was drawn to the tango from the moment she happened upon a cluster of dashing dancers strutting their stuff in Central Park. She soon found her date book filled with nightly milongas (social dances). Tango, Finn learned, had its own vast vocabulary of steps, from El Gancho (The Hook) and El Boleo (The Throw) to El Abrazo (The Embrace). Its themes of sorrow and heartbreak meshed well with her melancholy frame of mind. The tango eventually gave Finn the confidence to begin dating again. Most of her matchups were a bust, but she didn’t give up hope. When she traveled to Buenos Aires (on a trip originally planned with her husband), she realized that her life wasn’t over; it had only begun. Finn has penned a lively debut memoir, brimming with tango history and lore. --Allison Block

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Algonquin Books (February 9, 2010)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1565125177
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1565125179
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    3.7 3.7 out of 5 stars 44 ratings

About the author

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Maria Finn

Maria Finn

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I was born and raised in Kansas City, Missouri and when I finished college there, I moved to Homer, Alaska with the goal of earning lots of money so I could travel in Latin America. I earned very little money in Alaska, but fell in love with the raw beauty, the adventures, the storytelling and so went back season after season. First I worked on a small salmon seiner skippered by a woman, and then in remote fields camps where I monitored salmon swimming up rivers for the Alaska Department of Fish and Game. I spent a winter in Guatemala developing a fishpond on an orphanage, one teaching English in Seville, Spain, and two hiking and climbing in Peru. I moved to New York City to attend the Creative Writing MFA program at Sarah Lawrence College. I lived in Brooklyn for over 10 years and taught in the English Departments at Hunter College/CUNY and St. Francis College in Brooklyn Heights. I moved to Sausalito, California in 2008 and live on a floating houseboat with a rooftop garden that includes a tango floor. This year I have two books being published. "Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home" (Algonquin) about recovering from heartbreak by learning to tango, and another one, "A Little Piece of Earth, How to Grow Your Own Food in Small Spaces" (Rizzoli) about edible gardening for foodies. I write a weekly newsletter/blog, City Dirt: City Dirt: The Bay Area Weekly Garden Newsletter for Foodies, Foragers, Tree-Huggers and Beauty Lovers. (www.citydirt.net) My author website is www.mariafinn.com.

Customer reviews

3.7 out of 5 stars
3.7 out of 5
44 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book uplifting and inspiring with intriguing subject matter. They also describe the themes as tango and Zen.

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Inspirational themesSubject matter
3 customers mention "Inspirational themes"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the themes in the book uplifting and inspiring. They also say it's one of the best stories they've read in a long time.

"...people who were more familiar with Zen felt this was an uplifting and inspiring book. They would have given it 5 stars." Read more

"Interesting concept of getting over heartbreak through the lessons learned in Tango classes...." Read more

"HMT&TMH was one of the best stories I've read in a long time...." Read more

3 customers mention "Subject matter"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the subject matter intriguing and say the author's insights and references are great.

"...'s emotional healing through a combination of tango and Zen was intriguing...." Read more

"...The book stays intriguing as the author describes her journey through the learning curve of tango and inserts flashbacks to help the reader..." Read more

"Wonderful book.....the author's insights and references are just great. Her story grabs your heart and just simply does not let go...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

Hayley Kathleen Downs
5.0 out of 5 stars Soul Satisfying Page Turner
Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2010
Verified Purchase
I read this book and LOVED IT. I sent a copy to my sister and she immediately sent another copy to her best friend. I'm sure
it went on from there. I'm not a tango dancer but the story of the author's heartbreak the challenge of moving on is universal and we all have
a lot to learn from her travels. It reminded me that all personal tragedies are opportunities for growth and change.
Maria Finn obviously takes this very much to heart and I found myself almost immediately cheering her on. As a protagonist, she's
hard to resist. I absolutely marvel that, after splitting up with her husband, she would take up tango -- a technical and punishing
dance form to master after such a devastating ego blow. She seemed to draw faith that she would triumph from some deep well even she didn't know she had. The book is a
page turner -- and I laughed out loud many times. I recommend it HIGHLY -- not just for dance lovers -- but for anyone
who has ever had their heartbroken and found the courage to put it back together again.
2 people found this helpful
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Tanya Oosterhous
4.0 out of 5 stars Could relate to the author's story
Reviewed in the United States on March 21, 2013
Verified Purchase
We have a lovely Argentine Tango community in SW FL. We now have a "tango bookclub" to give us insight to the dance, the history and the culture of tango. This was the 2nd book we read. Although none of us believed that the main character could learn to dance this dance so well in such a short time, every one of us could relate our experience of WHY we became so devoted to this dance. Several of us could empathize with her and found that her experiences were similar to our own. It had a very authentic ring to it and her research into the history and culture of the dance seemed quite accurate. What I liked best is that the author chose to express her personal feelings about this beautiful dance and how it helped to change her life. I have experienced the same and heard many similar stories. Good job!
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V. Markowski
3.0 out of 5 stars Tango and Zen an intriguing conversation
Reviewed in the United States on April 27, 2013
Verified Purchase
This book about the author's emotional healing through a combination of tango and Zen was intriguing. Although one might think the two were not at all similar, the intensity of immersion in both is the same.

My biggest challenge with the book was with the cavalier way the author described how all the men at the milongas thought of her as a dancing goddess, of how she could eat whatever she wanted without gaining an ounce, of how she was able to just pick up and move to Buenos Aires for a year with no financial worries. I would have felt more empathy for the author if she had expressed any negative feelings at all about anything except herself.

Discussed this in a book group, though, where people who were more familiar with Zen felt this was an uplifting and inspiring book. They would have given it 5 stars.
One person found this helpful
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gjbailey
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book!
Reviewed in the United States on July 22, 2010
Verified Purchase
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and its many layers. It is a primer on argentine tango, a story of personal recovery, a comic account of feminine New York social life and a witty dialogue, among others. The author shifts easily from technical dance terminology to humorous verbal exchanges to flowing, descriptive creative writing. The book stays intriguing as the author describes her journey through the learning curve of tango and inserts flashbacks to help the reader understand what happened to her and why she has chosen to learn tango, which is a masochistic process of sorts. All in all, a complete book that kept me interested.
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J. B. Thomas, PhD.
4.0 out of 5 stars Feeling the Passion of Argentine Tango Through Experiences of the Author
Reviewed in the United States on August 27, 2013
Verified Purchase
If you have a passing interest in Argentine Tango but are not sure of how the dance affects those who travel to Buenos Aires, this book is for you. It is not a book of anecdotes covered with tasty frosting but rather a collection of experiences of living life as a temporary "Porteno", learning the dance and what affect it has on life for the many unique people Maria Finn met in a short time. In the end, the reader understands the nature of the title and is left wondering what has happened since living in Argentina.
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Gerrit Striker
1.0 out of 5 stars Save Your Time and Don't Take This Book Home
Reviewed in the United States on May 5, 2010
Verified Purchase
This book can be summarized by this reviewer in one sentence: "I took a bunch of tango lessons and got better than I was when I first started." There is no story, and I came to dislike the vain, self-absorbed memoirist who wrote this book. Take the title itself. What word in the title occurs twice as often as any other word? The word "me." Here is an example of her self-absorption (beware the clichés): She wrote, "Divorce also feels like hitting rock bottom: You are stuck in the nastiest, worst emotions a person can feel." Worse than someone who has experienced dear family members slaughtered in one of the many senseless military operations extant across the globe at present? Or someone who has had their life torn asunder in a natural catastrophe such as the Haitian earthquake? Why are her emotions the worst a human can feel? Because they are her emotions. Vain, isn't she?

There is a stumbling, superficial, abortive section in the book about a romance half-heartedly being dabbled at. It doesn't really start, it goes nowhere, and it just fades out unobtrusively. Just like this book itself.
5 people found this helpful
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BRNZ
2.0 out of 5 stars Self indulgent waffle about discovering yourself via tango. Some ...
Reviewed in the United States on December 19, 2014
Verified Purchase
Self indulgent waffle about discovering yourself via tango. Some of the dancing was interesting and the history but too much angst and feeling sorry for oneself. Woe!
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MBF
3.0 out of 5 stars Healing heartbreak through dance...interesting
Reviewed in the United States on May 25, 2014
Verified Purchase
Interesting concept of getting over heartbreak through the lessons learned in Tango classes. The author had some pretty neat comparisons of dance principles to life principles. Only gave this three stars because there were various areas where the story seemed to drag and the dance descriptions were confusing to read. However, I would recommend this book to anyone trying to get over an emotional struggle since it does provide various outside the box ways to think about the journey through such a difficult time.
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Top reviews from other countries

Amazon Customer
3.0 out of 5 stars authentic tango dancing
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 26, 2014
Verified Purchase
I liked the descriptions of the main moves in tango and discussions about how invitations to dance from a man to a woman have evolved. The descriptions of the dance venues are authentic, and the giving of nicknames to dancers which all adds up to a realistic account of the tango scene. A must for any beginner or enthusiastic dancer.
One person found this helpful
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