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Hookers or Cake Paperback – August 19, 2010
From the Author
- Rush Limbaugh overcomes a shy bladder
- Jim Morrison is alive and well and still writing terrible poetry.
- The story of how the baby taser was invented.
- Jesus comes back to earth only to be sucked into various pyramid scams and is crucified by compounding interest.
If you do not and you find yourself offended, please notify your local board of uptight wing-bats.
Have them contact me for bulk book burning rates and blasphemous quotes.
About the Author
Jade Bos is a renowned appliance repairman and retired alchemist. He lives in South Florida with his wife Regina, a very bad cat, and one hyperactive dog.
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Top Customer Reviews
Thank you for keeping the frostbite away for another week, Mr. Bos!
Mr. Bos, if you ever manage to "write" another "book" again, here's an idea for you: have an idea first! I've read more compelling tomes on the back of aerosol air freshener bottles whilst defecating. If only I WOULD have read this in the lavatory...it would have come in handy towards the end.
My advice to you is to throw your computer off of a large building or box-girder bridge and take up a vocation you're more qualified for. Like selling fruit on freeway ramps, or teaching the blind to finger paint.
Buy this book if you enjoy throwing money out in the street.
The only way this book could be more patriotic would be to mention Rush Limbaugh - and it does!
However, after listening as I read this book aloud, my 12 year old lab is acting like a puppy!
You see, our veterinarian noticed some hesitance and instability in our lab's legs, and he suggested that we read "Hookers or Cake" aloud to him-- he said he was so confident that if we didn't see a dramatic improvement after a month, he would refund the price of the book. I was quite skeptical (and thought the last thing we needed for our dog was a space-and-time consuming literary habit), but figured I had nothing to lose. Needless to say, the change in our dog's springy, crazy, jumping and spinning routine was dramatic, and now I can't imagine not reading Hookers or Cake aloud for him. When we finished the book the first time, we substituted some self help/ existentialism books on tape to tide him over until we could stomach cracking "Hookers or Cake" open again, and it was not anywhere near as effective. I believe in this one use of this book, but I will warn you that it is a huge (and trying) commitment on the part of the reader. It also seems like it could almost give older dogs a false sense of confidence in their own limbs/joints... as soon as his pain or inflammation (or whatever was causing his uncertainty) was relived, my dog seriously started acting like his very hyper, berzerk, puppy-self again. It seems like a dog with bone or joint issues could almost feel so great after listening to "Hookers or Cake" that he might hurt himself!
The style is clipped enough to make for an easy ready but the metaphysical changes one has to go through to comprehend it hardly offset that. Some of the writings are understandable, even entertaining - but others take all of my half-century of life experience to get my head around. It's as if the whole point is to confound and confuse.
And I can identify with that.
So basically - I laughed, I cried and that was just the dedication page.
But I guess I can't complain too much. I was one of the original backers after all.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I'm a big fan of his writing, and I devoured the entire book in one...Read more
My books electronics are totally screwed from trying that.Read more