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on November 29, 2011
This book was recommended to me by a professor in my dream writing class. Homes, rooms and decor are constantly a part of my dream world and she felt this book would be helpful. She was right. If you are living in a home with a spouse, significant other, children, strangers, your animal or alone this is a must read. This book will help you learn why you are not comfortable in your home or why you are comfortable and those living with you are not. The location of your home, the arrangement of the furniture, the style of furniture, the color of the decor all affect our mood, relationships and our lives. Many people live unaware of this effect however this book will open your eyes to what you carry from your childhood, give you techniques to help you understand which parts of the home are beneficial and those that are draining. It helped me gain insight into why I do not feel comfortable in my present home and why my husband does. It is the home he grew up in and he is open to a constant stream of company and activity. I love peace and quiet and want my home as a sanctuary to shut out the world because my career brings me in front of people all day long. If you are having problems in your relationship and feel uncomfortable in your environment this book is a must read. You will need to be open to discovering a part of you that may have been hidden but the discovery is well worth it. Be sure to actually do the exercises at the end of the chapters, especially those that relate directly to your situation. Enjoy!
20 people found this helpful
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on September 20, 2017
This book isn't very practical . There are some interesting ideas in it , but rather than being clear concise points these are small stories from different homeowners . I wouldn't say it's an easy read it as it is a bit dry to just muster through . If I had a chance to look through it before I purchased it I absolutely would not have purchased it .
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on August 21, 2010
Stuck in an expensive house I hated for over 10 years, this book was the beginning of my journey to liberation and escape! It seemed so attractive, so funky, so adorable... at first. But eventually our Mansard Victorian was driving me crazy. Reading the anecdotes in this book, going through it chapter by chapter and doing the exercises taught me for the first time why I felt so uncomfortable there, and allowed me to reconfigure the space to make it more tolerable. I set up two rooms inside the house exactly the way I wanted, focused my attention on the garden, and worked out a plan to organize the rest so it at least would not eat our stuff.

Once our child was born, the small rooms on three different floors, his toys and supplies divided throughout the house, started to drive me crazy again. So, back to the book we went. This time, I insisted that my husband work through it, too, so he could try to discover why he was clutching on to the house so tightly. By the time he was done, he knew, and we could finally leave. After a year-long stint in a simple rented apartment, we are about to move into a medium-sized Colonial mostly on one floor, with generous-sized rooms and a huge garden.

If your house does not feel like home, you need this book. If your house is driving you bats, you need this book. Even if you can't move, you'll get the tools you need to save your sanity and possibly your marriage.
33 people found this helpful
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on March 26, 2013
I would recommend this book to anyone interested in the deeper connections that persons have with their homes. It is an interesting and well written analysis of the psychological connections that individuals and couples have with the houses where they are living. Covers a wide range of situations and personalities studied mostly in and around the author's location in Berkeley, CA.
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on January 2, 2013
I loved many parts of this book because it reminds us that home is more that a location and structure and that our choice of house/home is intimately related to who we are.
The book is a bit academic for me, but then Clare was a professor! All in all it is an eye-opener for those interested in the deeper meanings of house and home!
Morgana Morgaine
Author, Borderless Broads, New Adventures for the Midlife Woman
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on June 13, 2016
I have always felt a strong affinity for living in a certain kind of space, or type of house, and in a certain region - coastal California. After being mildly frustrated for years about both, I found Clare's book to completely validate and clarify where these feelings or needs come from, and why. It's a very readable book, and covers a lot of psychological/spiritual ground for me. Thanks, Clare, for writing it!
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on July 23, 2010
This book is full of interesting and important ideas about how where we live affects how we are. I have read it many times over a long period of time - it is always fascinating and relevant to 'where' I am.

The lights go on all over my house. I realized the first time I read it that my house was built the same year my mother was born. I would not have thought of it on my own. It is a sure way to trigger topics for memoir writing and journal entries too.

My book club likes it because it suggests engaging activities that we can do together in our group.
7 people found this helpful
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on September 9, 2012
I've never read anything like this book. The psychological meaning of home within oneself is so appropriate for me to work with my clients. I'm a mental health professional and work with alot of clients with addictions who have lost all aspects of self.
6 people found this helpful
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on November 7, 2017
A another aspect of the self-help books. I enjoyed it.
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on October 5, 2009
House as a mirror of self has been an important book to me already and I'm only half finished reading it. It's taking me a while to complete because it's stimulating questions for me about my house and me. Insights gained are helping me understand where I am in my life at the moment and what I want to do to move forward.
4 people found this helpful
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