House Of The Dead
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As if it matters, here's the basic jist of the 'story'. A group of twenty-somethings are so desperate to go out to some island in the Pacific Northwest (Canada actually, because it's cheap) for the 'Rave of the Century' (which consists of about 8 people and un-raving music) that they pay some craggy old fisherman $1000 to take them there after they miss the main ferry. That's gotta be some rave to be worth all that dough! The fisherman warns them that the island is also known as the Island of the Dead (hang on-I thought this was HOUSE of the Dead?) and that they are all doomed yadda yadda yadda.
First faults here. Why would a tiny little rave (of the Century my foot!) be held on some remote island? Why would anyone willingly pay loads of money to get it? Why pay even more to the craggy old fisherman to take them back when they could just come back with the others?
Once they arrive they discover that the rave (which consists of about 2 tents, a small stage and a port-a-john) has been smashed, there's blood everywhere and no one is around. What would any rationally thinking person do? Run for their lives of course. But no, these clueless, obviously blind people decide to go look for them. Soon enough they discover an old ramshackle house that's 50 times as big on the inside as it is on the outside.Read more ›
Here's the reason this movie is so terrible
1.The zombie's makeup,it looks like toilet paper and ketchup(the fake blood at Wal Mart looks state-of-the-art compared to this)
2.The acting,it is so atrocious, you'll wish these amateurish actors/actreses would die off soon.
3.The slow-motion scenes:This really messed up the movie,Like the scene were all the teens were fighting and the scene was slow-motion was this The Matrix part 4 or something.
4.The plot:The plot and storyline was so badly written that a little kid could write a better script with a piece of toilet paper.
5.The editing:Some of the worst editing ever.Scenes from the video game should up in quick flashes and the editors didn't edit the movie well.
and the casting:Truly horrible cast especially the captain from DAS BOOT.What a shame.
Don't ever buy,rent,or steal this movie.Burning every copy of this montrosity would help the world.
Produced by fourteen (!) producers of different ranks, including Associate Producer Max Wanko, the film stars a bunch of nobodys with no inherent acting abilities detectible among them. The exception to this is Captain Kirk (yes, really) played by the genuinely talented Jürgen Prochnow: it pained my heart seeing this veteran of "Das Boot" in something this embarrassing. He does his best with the material presented to him, but it's beyond hope. Under no circumstance should you consider this a proud reprise in a seafaring role. Also onboard as creepy First Mate Salish is B-movie veteran Clint Howard who earns his paycheck with some overacting that fits right in. The only other actress who comes close to pulling her weight is Ellie Cornell as Casper, a pretty cop with an apparently complicated and pointless backstory with Kirk, and who is the only reasonably likeable female in the film.
Some twentysomething college students show up on a dock to go to the island rave but they miss their boat. Resourcefully, they charter Kirk for a ride to the island for $1000.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Well whats there to say a complete cheese ball from beginning till the endPublished 8 months ago by abel sosa
What's not to like? not a Damn thing! Nice budget, u -boat captain, location, storyline, lots of weapons, oh and most importantly beautiful actresses! Read morePublished 8 months ago by Mp
It's not the best acting or biggest budget but what you get is Classic gamer zombie movie, lots of zombies and lots of boobs which I enjoy both. Read morePublished 9 months ago by Mareika
Anyone whos seen house of the dead 2 dead aim knows its better than this bascially a group of moron's pay a old fisherman $1,000 to take them to some remote island where the "rave... Read morePublished 9 months ago by Just Me Baby Just Me 360
House of the Dead (2003)
Jurgen Prochnow and Clint Howard are both seasoned professional actors and infamous German film director and producer Uwe Boll somehow convinced the... Read more
If you like "B" rated horror movies, this one is a potential classic. A little cheesy, but very entertaining.Published 11 months ago by William J Morgan
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