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on May 14, 2017
So, I am somewhat torn with this book. I only read about halfway through, so I'll need to post another review after finishing. Nicoleen has some very good ideas, but I feel as though some of the methods she uses would only work for children of certain energy types (If you're familiar with Carol Tuttle's Energy Profiling System, you'll know what I mean.) For example, she suggests a solution to a scenario that I encounter daily with my boys, ages 9 and 5 for when they are fighting in the car. She suggests to pull over the car every time they fight and say a prayer or sing a primary song. This would never work for us. We'd be pulling over every 5 minutes and never make it to our destination. Am I too impatient to try her motheds? Perhaps. But for my very high energy boys who work better with less dialogue and explanations, conversations, etc....This seems unnatainable for me.
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on January 14, 2017
Loved the outlook it gave me on how to approach situations as a whole family to change the result.
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on December 29, 2016
I cannot wait to try these techniques on my kids!
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on December 22, 2016
Had one parenting issue with my pre-teen and this book was recommended. While I enjoy reading it and find it inspiring, there are some reasons I am only rating this a 3-star:

1. It's a long book and not easy to skim. I'm afraid my dear child will be grown before I'm able to finish it!
2. Whenever I think of this lady's description of her perfect household, I just feel worse about my own.
3. It seems like this lady's way for managing her family is kind of controlling. She creates a vision and they are all expected to follow it. I like the idea of having a vision, but I don't want to push my vision on everyone else. I wish she had a method of the family creating a vision together. My family already complains that I'm too controlling, so they're not likely to fall in line behind my sole vision.
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on December 12, 2016
I bought this book a while back (three years ago?) and didn't read that far in- we used the family vision chart and it was helpful... but then I didn't read more!! (Honestly I didn't have time, but looking back, I should have MADE the time.) So now, about a week ago, we were in crisis mode. On one of my Facebook groups, I read the words, "self-government" and I thought, "Oh my gosh, that book!!" I went back and read through about half of it that night.

I'm going to finish reading it this time!! :D But we've taken about three days to put another couple of things into practice (deciding what my max penalty is, narrowing negative consequences down to four manageable categories, and implementing a bean jar), and my kids are CHANGING. This morning, my son (11, almost 12) came in to "tell" on his sister (9, almost 10). I braced myself for the negativity... My son said, "Mom, I asked her to make a bagel for me while she had the stuff out, and she said, 'I'd be happy to!' I think she needs a bean in the bean jar!" I about died. It was a very special moment for me, because our level of chaos and negativity had gotten very stressful.

I'm really grateful for this system. I can't guarantee that it'll work for your family, but it's changing people at our house. Including the parents!
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on August 9, 2016
I think there are probably some good ideas hidden amongst the ramblings, but this book is so poorly written that I can barely understand what the author is trying to say. I have heard it is a good book, so I keep trying to use it in my family, but it is hard to tell what is important and relevant. The important principles in this book could probably be summarized and rephrased into a book 1/10th this size and much more coherent.
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on May 2, 2016
Will change your life. My absolute favorite parenting book.
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on April 3, 2016
This book is religious brain washing, not educated parenting advice. As a psychotherapist, I am deeply disturbed by some of the advice given in this book.
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on March 24, 2016
Great book!! It has definitely helped our family out and I would recommend it to anyone!
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on February 21, 2016
I am a weirdo, who has to take notes when reading, otherwise I forget everything. This book is taking forever! The first 8 or so chapters could easily be reduced in half. It's mostly about vision, vision, vision. I'm tired of hearing about it, I want to know how to help my family! I get it. Vision is important. Now, the next chapter is finally getting to the family stuff, meetings and together times. Things I need to tangibly apply. So much of this book is repetitive. It's frustrating that it's taking me forever to get to page 75! I've spent hours and hours taking notes and reading. My kids are asking me when I'll be done with this book and noticed it's taking forever. I really want to help my family, I like the content so far, but am hoping it finishes better than it starts. I will update as I go. I updated this to 5 stars - I bought the old version on accident, but it ended up being okay. Yes, the book can easily be condensed and organized better, but once you get to the good stuff, it is life changing!! I've read every Christian parenting book, from love to logic, say goodbye to whining, doorposts, titus2, and I recommend this book 1st and say goodbye to whining second. Honestly, this is the first and only book you need. I can't believe I found this so late in the game! My 6 and 8 year old take to this nicely, my 13 year old is a bit tougher to accept. But, this book changes parents and children alike and honestly....has changed my outlook/life. I'm thankful for this book and totally recommend! The author is LDS - but no big conflicts of interest in this. I was concerned, but it ended up being just fine! Watch videos on her site if you need help or have questions!
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