Digital List Price: $0.99
Kindle Price: $0.00

Save $12.99 (100%)

These promotions will be applied to this item:

Some promotions may be combined; others are not eligible to be combined with other offers. For details, please see the Terms & Conditions associated with these promotions.

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook (Housewife Assassin Series, Book 1) by [Brown, Josie]
Kindle App Ad

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook (Housewife Assassin Series, Book 1) Kindle Edition

4.0 out of 5 stars 1,959 customer reviews

See all 6 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Price
New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
$0.00

Length: 290 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled

Best Books of the Month
See the Best Books of the Month
Want to know our Editors' picks for the best books of the month? Browse Best Books of the Month, featuring our favorite new books in more than a dozen categories.
click to open popover

Complete Series

Enter your mobile number below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
Getting the download link through email is temporarily not available. Please check back later.

  • Apple
  • Android
  • Windows Phone
  • Android

To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.


Editorial Reviews

Review

"This is a super sex and fun read that you shouldn't miss!" - Mary Jacobs, Bookhounds Reviews "It's a fast-paced read, and the gadgets are awesome...The perfect combination of mystery and humour." - Curled Up with a Good Book and a Cup of Tea "The chemistry between Donna and Jack is enough to set water on fire... A healthy dose of humor and ridiculousness in a book that won't be put down - so go pick it up now!" - Cat's Thoughts

From the Author

OTHER BOOKS IN THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN ROMANTIC SUSPENSE SERIES:
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK (Book 1) 
Every desperate housewife wants an alias. Donna Stone has one, and it happens to be government-sanctions. But when terrorism hits close to home, espionage makes for strange bedfellows--and brings new meaning to the old adage, "Honey, I'm home..."
         
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S GUIDE TO GRACIOUS KILLING (Book 2) 
On Donna's to-do list: First, exterminate a rogue operative out to assassinate the newly elected Russian President. Next: file for divorce!
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S KILLER CHRISTMAS TIPS (Book 3) 
'Tis the season for mistletoe...and murder! There will be no peace on Earth if Donna doesn't find a shipping container filled with heat-seeking missiles!
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S RELATIONSHIP SURVIVAL GUIDE (Book 4)
London. Paris. Guantánamo Bay. Donna Stone is looking for love--and terrorists--in all the wrong places. Worse yet,  an old flame gets in the way of Donna's chance for true love. But she doesn't cry. She gets even.
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S VACATION TO DIE FOR (Book 5)
An NSA scientist has disappeared with a deadly plague virus. Donna and Jack must find him before it is unleashed on Fantasy island. But first they'll have to deal with a nude sunbathing serial killer, a Lord of the Flies 'tween takeover, poison dart-throwing pygmies. And you call this a vacation?
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S RECIPES FOR DISASTER (Book 6)
Donna must stop the assassinations of both US political parties' presidential candidates. But when she discovers she has a long-term vendetta with one of the targets, can she put aside her animosity long enough to save the candidate's life?
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HOLLYWOOD SCREAM PLAY (Book 7)
Lights, cameras and non-stop action! When Donna and Jack are placed on Interpol's Most Wanted list, they go on the lam by accepting an offer to act as espionage experts on a movie set. 
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S DEADLY DOSSIER (Series Prequel)
In this full-length prequel to the series, Acme Industries' black-ops agent, Jack Craig, is tasked with investigating the mysterious death of his organization's most prolific hit man, Carl Stone--only to fall in love the the dead man's wife, Donna: a woman he must never contact, but who may hold the key to her husband's disappearance. When Acme approaches Donna to join the organization as an assassin, Jack takes on an undercover mission that will change both their lives forever.
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S KILLER APP (Book 8)
In order to flush out an internationally renowned hacker who is wreaking havoc with top secret documents inside the United States' Intelligence Community's secured database, housewife assassin Donna Stone infiltrates three very successful high tech corporations, including an interactive game start-up with an avatar on the deadliest mission of all: kill Donna. 

THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HOSTAGE HOSTING TIPS (Book 9)
It's up to Donna Stone to save a hotel filled with international dignitaries from terrorists whose usual demands are million-dollar ransoms. But this time, the price is much higher, and much more personal, for the housewife assassin.
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S GARDEN OF DEADLY DELIGHTS (Book 10)
Housewife assassin Donna Stone's green thumb--and for that matter, her trigger finger--is put to the test when she must stop the release of genetically enhanced corn containing a deadly brain-eating virus.

THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S TIPS FOR WEDDINGS, WEAPONS, and WARFARE (Book 11)
It's time for Donna Stone and Jack Craig to tie the knot--hopefully, not around each other's necks as they juggle the planning of their wedding with tracking a terrorist in the White House. 
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HUSBAND HUNTING HINTS (Book 12)
There is only one way for housewife assassin Donna Stone to save her husband and mission leader, Jack Craig, from torture and termination: become a traitor and act as a double agent for the terrorist organization known as the Quorum.
 
THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S GHOST PROTOCOL (Book 13)
Housewife assassin Donna Stone's mission: go under deep cover in order to investigate the resurrection of known terrorists where were thought to be long dead and buried.

Product Details

  • File Size: 5306 KB
  • Print Length: 290 pages
  • Publisher: Signal Press (May 13, 2011)
  • Publication Date: May 13, 2011
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0050PJZLK
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,300 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images or tell us about a lower price?

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The plotlines were very simple. It was easy to see exactly where the author was going with the story. There was no mystery, simply an excuse for sex scenes written without the use of a decent thesaurus. Lots of slang for body parts slamming together. Not a treat.
Comment 160 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Kindle Edition
MY THOUGHTS
ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT

Donna thinks her husband has a normal job that includes a LOT of travel but it affords her the life she has always dreamed of and then Carl is declared dead while she is at the hospital delivering her third child, she finds out exactly what his job entailed as an assassin. When the money runs out from his job, she finds out the strange truth about what Carl actually did and is drawn in a world of espionage and terrorists. I guess being a mother prepares you for coordinating attacks and being vicious and you can ask anyone who has ever been involved in the PTA. She is hired by Acme Industries as an operative to help counteract the activities of the Quorum and other slime.

So when Donna's "husband" returns to her life, it turns out to be Jack, another Acme operative that wants to use her as a front. She tries to get to the bottom of exactly what happened to her husband. There are more twists and turns in this plot than Mulholland Drive and if you have been in the car with me, just as fast! Her partner in crime is now Jack but Donna can't exactly figure out which side he is on and every time she thinks she has the answer it is wrong. This is a super sexy and fun read that you shouldn't miss!

How do I love this book, let me count the ways:

1. A kick ass woman that can literally kick ass as well as cook and clean. Donna gives a whole new meaning to "taking out the trash".

2. The book is set around Los Angeles, mostly in a gated community suspiciously like Coto de Caza, full of housewives that could be 'real" and for the setting alone, a big giant WIN!

3. Super Sarcasm, snarky dialogue and making fun of all that is wrong in the OC, politics, as well as current world affairs.
Comment 146 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Kindle Edition
Not funny, not romantic, and not a mystery, but if you want a ridiculous plot with lots of sex and violence, this is for you
1 Comment 259 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book is a complete waste of time. Unbelievable plot, unbelievable characters, filthy language, graphic sexual descriptions. One review references 'Get Smart'. I would choose "Three Stooges"-without any laughter. One of the very few reads that I stopped because I would rather wash dishes.
7 Comments 214 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The Housewife Assassin's Handbook was a little pulpy, a little campy, and except for one WTH? plot twist, a thoroughly enjoyable read. Think Desperate Housewives with ninja skills and technical support.

It seems that being a mommy and an assassin require similar talents, and it's okay if you can't see the connection--Donna Stone will walk you through it. She manages to juggle her carpool and dispatching international bad guys with a calm detachment...well, with the bad guys at least--if only she could draw on that cool when it comes to dealing with the mean mommies in her posh suburban neighborhood.

What was bad? Well, there is a plot hole or two and the WTH plot twist. But I can get past that last...

What was good? I love this idea--it is so unbelievable in it's ridiculousness that it is amazing. Brown doesn't dance around her story or her characters. There is no apologizing and no half-way in her characters or their actions; she just sells 'em big and over-the-top and it works.

Great rainy day read!
Comment 63 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I think this is probably Satire. Or at least tongue in cheek. One part of me says hooray for taking all those cliches and making fun of them, giving a fresh twist with predictability. For playing with all that melodrama in the bedroom. The other part of me just groans. When I was finished, I did some research and found that Ms. Brown is widely accepted as a brilliant writer who, does from time to time, write Satire. If this is Satire, it's beautiful. I just wish I'd known it before I invested in my protagonists. Because protagonist One waffles and sleeps with more than one person (not necessarily bad, but the complete emotional swing kina throws ya). And then she wants to eliminate the other protagonist violently (who I happened to like). Wild uncharacteristic emotional swings mixed with making the main protagonist seem stupid just doesn't do it for me. It was hilarious in places though. And I like that the author's note says she had fun writing it. And she's done her research of suburbia and assassin-world. So part of me wanted to give it a four star rating. Funny. Sexy. Satire-y. The other half beat the star rating with a shoe because, even Satire needs a romance and characters you can count on.
Comment 70 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Okay, a super-sexy CIA murderess, faithful to her husband Carl, worried about picking up her kids after school, bent over, naked, legs spread under a Russian agent who she is going to assassinate by cutting his throat? I closed the Kindle down and erased the story after the first chapter. This may be someone's idea of barely implausible, but the whole premise is literary garbage. If you're into bondage, wanton rape and brutality, you may like this book. If you are not into such a life, save the electrons.
Comment 75 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse

Most Recent Customer Reviews