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How to Argue and Win Every Time Paperback – April 14, 1992

by Gerry Spence (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 779 ratings
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“How to Argue and Win Every Time is more than just a book about argument; it's the outline on how to live.” ―Larry king

“Gerry Spence is one of America's last true originals--a man who thinks as brilliantly as he lives, who writes as compellingly as he talks, and who practices law as faithfully as most people practice religion.” ―Dan Rather

The Runaway National Bestseller with over 800,000 copies sold that teaches you how to compose, prepare, and deliver the winning argument every time!

The Laws of Arguing According to Gerry Spence

1. Everyone is capable of making the winning argument.
2. Winning is getting what we want, which also means helping "others" get what they want.
3. Learn that words are a weapon, and can be used hostilely in combat.
4. Know that there is always a "biological advantage" of delivering the TRUTH.
5. Assault is not argument.
6. Use fear as an ally in pubic speaking or in argument. Learn to convert its energy.
7. Let emotions show and don't discourage passion.
8. Don't be blinded by brilliance.
9. Learn to speak with the body. The body sometimes speaks more powerfully than words.
10. Know that the enemy is not the person with whom we are engaged in a failing argument, but the vision within ourselves.

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Previous page
  1. Print length
    320 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    April 14, 1992
  4. Dimensions
    6.1 x 0.85 x 9.15 inches
  5. ISBN-10
    0312144776
  6. ISBN-13
    978-0312144777
  7. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Lawyer Spence's guide to winning arguments spent 26 weeks on PW's bestseller list.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

“How to Argue and Win Every Time is more than just a book about argument; it's the outline on how to live.” ―Larry king

“Gerry Spence is one of America's last true originals--a man who thinks as brilliantly as he lives, who writes as compellingly as he talks, and who practices law as faithfully as most people practice religion.” ―Dan Rather

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ St. Martin's Griffin; Reprint edition (April 14, 1992)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0312144776
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0312144777
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.3 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.1 x 0.85 x 9.15 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 779 ratings

About the author

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Gerry Spence

Gerry Spence

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Gerry Spence has been a trial attorney for more than five decades and proudly represents "the little people." He has fought and won for the family of Karen Silkwood, defended Randy Weaver at Ruby Ridge, and represented hundreds of others in some of the most notable trials of our time. He is the founder of Trial Lawyer's College, a nonprofit school where, pro bono, he teaches attorneys for the people how to present their cases and win against powerful corporate and government interests. He is the author of fifteen books, including The New York Times bestseller How to Argue and Win Every Time, From Freedom to Slavery, Give Me Liberty, and The Making of a Country Lawyer, and is a nationally known television commentator on the famous trials of our time. He lives in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
779 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Fleming
5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightened Book on strategically getting what you really want - appealing to a higher sense of good and love
Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2016
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This is a book on arguing written by a lawyer, but it is sooo much more than that. It is a book on deciding on the outcome you want, and being enlightened, loving, human and decent in your pursuit of that goal. Having gotten divorced in a legal system where honesty was a losing strategy, I loved seeing that the strategies in this book (written in 1986) might have once worked in a better justice system of a different time. However, this is a book that is almost about enlightenment - about arguing to express love, about arguing to get an outcome that brings you closer to a party rather than increasing distance, about arguing to win something decent. I wish this was required reading for all lawyers and judges, and for all parties to a lawsuit, to elevate the level of the discussion and to bring the focus back on what really is desired, rather than the common course of "the lawyers made $300k and no real results got achieved" that is often the outcome of lawyer brokered contentiousness.
3 people found this helpful
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Douglas Householder
5.0 out of 5 stars Very satisfied.
Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2024
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Improve arguing skills.
One person found this helpful
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Kitty Mama
5.0 out of 5 stars A rare breed of attorney-valuable lessons
Reviewed in the United States on September 24, 2016
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I miss Gerry so much. He was one of the few attorneys I respected in a lifetime of dealing with them. It is no joke that early colonial Virginia banned attorneys from their territory - as "vermin". (Andrew Vachss, who reps abused children past 4 decades, is #1 on my scale of attys with honor & integrity). Gerry's book will teach a good intelligent person about the art of argumentation...wIth another atty, gov't agencies, criminal/civil issues and most importantly. a spouse/partner. Gerry doesn't always go for win-lose like so many boneheads today - he creates scenarios in which win-win can be achieved. He also illustrates how sometimes - those who recklessly kill and endanger others due to pure greed can be brought to "pay" for their crimes. Unfortunately, corporate persons don't go to jail & more often than not, they are able to manipulate the final settlement down to pennies on the dollar. Gerry fought a good fight. This book is a real treasure. Not often does an atty honestly tell you how to get along and when to just let something go...Gerry does.
2 people found this helpful
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Thomas Wikman
4.0 out of 5 stars Successful Communication a Lawyer’s Perspective
Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2016
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This book is not about how to set up a winning argument providing the best evidence and the best logical case. It is about getting what you want as you communicate with others. People are emotional beings that focus not just on weighing the presented evidence. People have self interests, they are prejudiced, there are emotions and desires, group associations, and then there’s body language, and to get what you want they have to like you, etc. When you argue a case in court, or at home or at work, or to any group of people, you have to consider all of that.

Very briefly; you have to prepare, you have to listen to the other, you have to understand the other, find common ground, and you have to be credible. Therefore you should not avoid emotions and your argument should be personal, and you must always be truthful. Our argument cannot be perceived as a threat or we will never be heard, and assault is not argument. He discusses how to deal with prejudice and hostility and tells us that sometimes losing is winning and sometimes an argument shouldn’t be made at all. He also mentions that telling personal stories is a good way of getting people to see things your way. In addition to advice and guidelines there’s also quite a bit of wisdom and personal opinions, some of which I agree with and some of which I don’t agree with.

One thing I object to is that he sometimes overextends his perspective. For example, there are arguments, or communications, which should avoid emotions and for which the people involved and even their perceived credibility should not matter. I am talking about peer review in natural science and mathematical discourse, which I see as the best path towards “truth”. In that case only the evidence matter and the data and mathematical derivations speak for itself. However, that is outside of his expertise, like so much else that is outside of his expertise. That’s why I titled my review “A Lawyer’s Perspective”.

That does not mean it is not a good book. The book is filled with useful insights and I learned a lot from the book. One of the things I learned from this book is that if I know a lot about a subject and I am arguing with someone who’s very misinformed but stubborn I must resist the temptation to be patronizing, or to crush them. My goal should be to inform them, not to make them hate me. That was just one of many examples of what I’ve learned reading this book. I highly recommend this book.
78 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Learn to win
Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2024
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This book will tell you how when arguments with anyone. Great for sales.
One person found this helpful
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P. McKenna
5.0 out of 5 stars Don't Underrate Freedom
Reviewed in the United States on December 28, 2001
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The point of the book is not to persuade you to adopt his point of view, but to adopt your own. It's a lot about freedom of expression, but not his, but freedom for those who don't stand up for what they believe in, even when they are right.
I've owned the cassette version for several years and wouldn't think of reading the book when I can hear his argument on tape. I wish I could describe his style. The title is grandiose --and good marketing. I imagine he is a bit grandiose and more than a little self-promoting. But he's got some good ideas to sell, so I don't begrudge the marketing. I read this shortly before winning one of the most important arguments in my life, so it may have been helpful exactly when I needed help.
Spence's style of argument borrows from his life. You get a lot of what you'd expect from a lawyer, excerpts from his trials and a brief look at the profession of law. But the courtroom is just a metaphor for a bigger picture. I think the bigger picture is listening to him give advice on standing up for the truth and not flinching when someone tries to cut away at it.
I enjoyed his method: imagining mental locks which he matches with verbal keys. He also digs into prejuidice, which seemed like a side trip, but it made sense when he got done. He's got some locks or closed doors of his own, he admits, naming bankers as one group who could just as well stay out on the golf course and not come back. That part made me laugh. How would he know that much about bankers? So I imagined him out on the golf course, with knickers to match his trademark rawhide jacket -- listening in on the conversations. Don't wait for the movie. There might never be one. But you are ready for equal doses of entertainment and insight, get the tape.
12 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Bobbie
5.0 out of 5 stars Happy with purchase
Reviewed in Canada on September 3, 2023
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Excellent book from a knowledgeable and informative author.
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Ioana
5.0 out of 5 stars What a great book!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 5, 2023
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Amazing book for those who want to avoid fighting with those ij contact with. I have learned a lot!
One person found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Bold and spicy; genuine and effective.
Reviewed in Mexico on August 3, 2020
Verified Purchase
Here the writer gives us a practical way to win a argument, with his original storytelling, great style of writing and uniqueness; he leads us to the promised land.

He dont need to hide: the author is himself all along the book. He shows us the big keys to success through storytelling, exciting cases, and day-to-day life.

Undoubtedly, the writer brings to life this book, he is really someone credible; since he follows one of the lessons of winning the argument: To be honest.

To those of you who wish to know how to always win, I am sorry to inform you that this is not possible; nevertheless, for those of you interested in building a strong foundation for the win-win argument, and the art of losing, you will find in these book a lot of knowledge.

Recommended for everyone; it doesn't matter the age, sex, religion; (In words of Gerry Spence) we all have a winning argument in our DNA.
One person found this helpful
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JOÃO VINICIUS
5.0 out of 5 stars perfeito!
Reviewed in Brazil on July 5, 2018
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bem embalado, dentro do prazo, excelente qualidade. Não comecei a ler ainda, mas, pelas recomendações, parece ser muito interessante para quem lida com pessoas, negócios e matérias conexas.
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Samyak N. Jain
5.0 out of 5 stars I have come to admire Mr. Spence.
Reviewed in India on May 17, 2019
Verified Purchase
On the face of it, this book gives an impression that it is a lawyers-only book. However, there's a much deeper perspective to it. Mr. Spence takes us through a topsy-turvy ride of human relationships. The author's perspective is enriching and engaging.

Mr. Spence has explained how our mind has been 'prejudiced' by the world and how those very prejudices work against us. He further goes on to explain the reasons of discord between the couples, parents-children and amongst other human relationships. He has given certain rules which alleviates our status, first in our own eyes; before the world acknowledges it. Personally, I was happy to know that in a world of deceit and deception, someone values honesty and integrity and even advocates for these values.

Personally, the last portion of the book was 'Enchanting'. Mr. Spence explains why world world functions in such an insensitive and lifeless manner, i.e. without any regard to human emotions and other values. Mr. Spence answers many of these questions. Something which has eluded me for several years.

I've read this book thrice (since buying it). Mr. Spence you have won a 'life-time admirer'.
Thank-you.
4 people found this helpful
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