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How To Get A Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating In Six Months Or Your Money Back Paperback – February 14, 2005
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Top Customer Reviews
Because of what I've learned about human nature (as well as super nature), there is a need to establish that the one you are with is able to delay gratification long enough to separate lust from love so that both people can objectively learn about each other. This takes a time period much longer than the traditional length of time to accomplish. Cloud and Townsend (the authors) suggest that anything less than a year is probably too soon to be talking about a truly committed relationship. They go on to say that 2 to 3 years is not an unreasonable time. They also say that it depends a bit on individual pace.
I used to focus on one woman at a time in the traditional way of dating until she or I decided we were no longer compatible, then move on or decide on being "friends". Now I casually date for a much longer period, dating a few women concurrently, to see which of those can hang in there with me in order to really get to know me, among other reasons.
(I'll stop here to clarify a definition. I think our world has two meanings for "casual dating" One meaning is as I have used it above - dating to get to know someone keeping the boundaries of physical interaction at a bare minimum initially.
The second meaning is quite the opposite and that is >>go out/have sex/repeat with different partner with a cavalier attitude.
When I use this term "casual dating" I'm using the first definition always.Read more ›
1. Finally, some good, realistic advice from a Christian about dating.
2. Lots of angles are covered, rebuking a lot of the casually offered advice of the Church.
3. Written in an easy-to-understand way that sheds light on the complex inner web that can prevent a person from successfully dating.
4. While the advice is based in a Christian belief, a lot of the psychological analysis doesn't require a Christian worldview, allowing a lot of the advice within to help guide a non-believer as well.
1. While the books is for both genders, Cloud's advice largely tilts towards the ladies. Which is probably a smart move consider the main demographic for this type of book. But for us guys the book isn't quite as meaty as it will be for the ladies.
2. It didn't seem like he went as deep into some of the issues as to be entirely helpful. For example, the chapter on men needing to be more assertive is fine in terms of pointing out an issue. But I already know I am not assertive enough--what I need is illuminating advice on HOW to be more assertive. Cloud basically just tells guys to "man up". If a bird doesn't know how to fly, you don't just tell it to fly...
3. There were multiple cases where rather than explaining an issue further Cloud simply referred readers to one of his other books. Sorry, but that just makes this book feel incomplete.
4. The book doesn't clear up that mysterious line between "hanging out" and "a date". It seems to me that a lot of what he describes as the early dating process is hanging out.Read more ›
One of the biggest and most misleading ideas implied in church culture or propagated in books are:
a) Just wait, God will provide for you a mate.
b) If you are spiritual enough, and seek God earnestly, God will give you the best. Don't settle for second best.
With that two statements, it misleads people who are seriously looking for a mate.
First, because of that a lot of people just sit around waiting for a life-partner to drop out of mid-air into their lives.
God certainly does provide, he provides the birds of the air food, but still the bird must look for the worm. God gave the Israelites the land, but they still had to go in and fight for it. It was not passive inactivity that won the day. God does his part, we must do ours.
Next, what is this idea of "second best"? If A was meant for B but instead marries C this will cause a chain reaction where B marries D which leads to E who was supposed to marry D to marry F and so on... So with just one choice, we cause the whole universe held together by God to crash? Even Microsoft Windows performs better than that!
So we end up with a lot of singles in church, waiting and waiting... and waiting... and waiting... just waiting... perhaps one of them thinks that she must serve God more or perhaps she wasn't spiritual enough.
So she volunteers... for the children's ministry. Good luck in increasing her odds of finding someone there.
Which leads to another thought. Before the invention of the automobile, most people married within a radius of 2 miles from where they lived.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This is the second dating book I've read by Henry Cloud (the first being Boundaries in dating) and again, I am reaching the conclusion that its not a terrible book, but it wasn't... Read morePublished 17 days ago by Mr. Herman
The book has a few good points that I use to this day. The problem is that it does not focus on Jesus. For this reason it did not help me out very much. Read morePublished 2 months ago by KKing Tutt III
This is an excellent book by Henry Cloud. I am working through the chapters with a friend. It involves taking risks and stepping out of your comfor zonePublished 3 months ago by rose
Great read for those who hope to make well informed decision for their future. Great help by good author.Published 4 months ago by Shirley Barnhouse
These suggestions do not suit my personality. I think the book is geared toward younger adults.Published 5 months ago by JeanW
I bought this book in 2004 but am writing my review in 2015. This book changed my life, and helped me find the man of my dreams, to whom I've been ecstatically married for 9 years... Read morePublished 7 months ago by Amazon Customer