I generally like to see about 20 reviews for a low-priced kindle book--most samples of anything under 60 are not very significant statistically--but for a downloadable digitable book, 18 reviews are not too shabby. The real hook for me was the
4 1/2 star rating.
As someone who is considering writing a book in this genre and since there seems to be an insatiable need for this kind of book given the PUA industry has exploded, I've bought about five or six of these books from Amazon and found out that generally speaking every one has suffered from one of three fatal flaws: first, there is the "old-wine-in-new-bottles" problem--material that has been rehashed ad nauseum from numerous other sources and which it would seem to me is only enlightening to people with very little knowledge of this particular variation of relationship psychology. The second problem is that many of the tenents considered as universal truth are merely assumptions based on the anecdotal experience
of the author. For instance, with respect to "Ignore and Score", the author's four foundations of attracting women of successful dating ( Attraction, Rapport, Leading, and Escalation) are merely his own arbitrary constructions.
Another model--equally as useful might suggest--the "foundations" are 1) Overcoming a woman's initial resistance to the approach of a stranger; 2) Using techniques of persuasion to get her to do something you want her to do, (i.e) meeting her for coffee at Starbucks; and 3) having accomplished (2) getting her to want to experience it repeatedly until 4) a bond of trust is formed potentially culminating in physical intimacy.
The, too, there is this list of givens:
"Nice guys without personal boundaries DO finish last; Putting her on a pedestal will NOT get you the girl; Tension IS necessary for attraction; Dating is not all about her expectations; your expectations should count MORE to you; Seduction is a FUN game of tug-of-war; Body language and tone of voice constitute 93% of communication; what you actually say accounts for the other 7%; Your self-esteem and life passions are tantamount to getting the girl; A woman may reject or resist you BUT can still WANT you − you just have to know when to keep pursuing and when to move on."
I could cite numerous examples to show that these assumptions are not necessarily gospel. I'm just one guy and I developed a very passionate relationship with a beautiful girl without having any noticeable boundaries, by putting her on a pedestal, and by engaging in the equivalent of a sexual Bataan Death March that was not much fun at all--in effect by taking Ovid, the third greatest writer of antiquity after Homer and Virgil at his word. I'm assuming that I'm not the only guy who has pedastalized a woman and who had to crawl through the muck on hands and knees paying a "vig" of blood, sweat, and tears to win the gold.
Finally, overwhelmingly, most of these books are long on theory and short on science. If Dan Arielly--a behavioral economist from MIT--has something to say about relationships and attraction based on a peer-reviewed study I want to know about it. This was not Ariely's research but you can read these books until your crosseyed and not come across some research that explains why you could do evrything the PUA guru's say and still be found repugnant to a woman. It seems there are woman who have different receptors for the male hormone andesterone. If a woman has a certain form of the gene, the pheramone will be perceived as a scent close to vanilla and be very arousing. If she possesses a mutation of the gene the same pheramone will smell like urine.
Unless she gets off on a guy who smells like an alley in the Bowery on a scorching August afternoon, the persuasive powers of Cicero aren't going to help you. I have found (through review of many abstracts, pdf files from Universities, and scientific journals, dealing with microexpressions, neurobiology, endocrinology (did you know that women generally will attempt to look more attractive during ovulation and that anxiety and sexual arousal are often indestinguishable which is why taking a woman to see "Psycho" instead of "Bambi" may make you seem more attractive to her?)
On balance, if you don't want to plow through hundreds and hundreds of pages trying to crack the code of female sexuality and the dynamics of attraction and if you have only the thinnest exposure to these subjects a book like this could move you up the food chain a notch or two. At the end of the day, there is no substitute for really digging deep, taking a class or two in microexpressions that will allow you to detect within seconds if the "Duquesyne" smile she flashed you was a sign she's into you or just that she's a damn good actress.
MY experiences--and those of many people I've talked to about the book I might write about getting over a girl who has stomped on your heart--has lead me to believe that love is a knife fight unless you look like a GQ model, have a seven-figure-bank account, and six-figure abs--and then you just might get by with common misery. You'll have to get over your fear--epidemic among men--of "venustraphobia (the often paralyzing fear of beautiful women); you'll have to learn how to listen with the patience of trappist monk, and pick yourself up after repeated rejection until you realize it's like burning your finger: it stings like hell but eventually the pain subsides. But like George Patton said after inhaling the fumes of battle, when all that work pays off, you'll say, "God help me, I Iove it so."
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ignore her and she will want you
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