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How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
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Top Customer Reviews
But I decided to try the methods described in the book. Anal constrition and stomach compression, 100 times a day for several days.
At the risk of seeming disgusting, permit me to say that several days after I started this practice, I experienced what was probably the largest bowel movement in my life. I've also lost a few inches around the waistline and my energy level seems to be rising.
Perhaps there's some wisdom in this book after all!
"Besides shooting out a big blank from your buttock, you can feel as if your root chakra leaked sweet hot mucus."
That line doesn't make any sense, but it's pretty great. Sometimes I like to open the book up to random pages and read passages for a good laugh. Enjoy!
The book does an excellent job of covering the following topics:
* Anus constriction
I highly recommend this book.
I have quickly begun to "erase my bad sticky feeling", and am feverishly working on the "secret of shooting out [my] immaterial fibers or third attention to [my] work from [my] body".
With focused effort, and continued application, I have no doubt that I'll soon be "making * * * three times in succession without drawing out."
A lovely treatise on the power of positive-sphincking.
PS Added bonus; if all goes well, I'll be able to use my anus as a pencil sharpener....
I figured there had to be a quick fix pick-me-up, somewhere in all of the products that Amazon sells.
I was so happy to find this product, because I want to good-bye depression. I want to good-bye depression very many!
I was a little startled to find that the secret to good-bye depression is "constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday". It seemed a little far-fetched and unorthodox, sure -- but any more so than the "power of positive thinking" or "letting go and accepting what is"? Hardly.
The exercises take a bit of getting used to -- and probably shouldn't be practiced in public, or after any kind of starchy meal -- but I have to say, they seem to help. When you can manage to do something so patently ridiculous and random every single day, it's difficult to find anxiety or stress in basically anything else. The funk just sort of melts away.
So maybe an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But for depression and gloom, a hundred "suck-and-puckers" every morning seems to do the trick, too. To good-bye depression happy love man!
The first two sections of the book are usenet posts, and the posts are absurdly repetitive, so much so that I began to feel ripped off. A funny group post begins to lose its appeal after you've read it (as well as the three replys that followed) three times. It became hard to get to the remainder of the book.
The remaining three sections are Nishigaki's writing, and are based on the teachings of Carlos Castaneda. While I'm inclined to believe that both Castaneda and Nishigaki are both lunatics who need to be institutionalized, I didn't buy the book to learn about the healing effects of anal-clenching; I got the book because it looked like a good laugh.
The content of the book doesn't really justify its price, but some of the mangled "Engrish" is REALLY funny, and I absolutely love the horrified looks on my roommates' faces when they bring guests over, only to discover this book lying on the coffee table. You probably have to be a little warped to buy this book, but if you're already looking at this page, methinks this is the book for you.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
The ultimate review of how to goodbye depression
Executive Summary: Do not buy this book. It does not have enough comedy per page to justify its purchase. Read more
I gave it a fair trial and found it malarkey, not effective way at all.Published 3 months ago by cgb
It's a hit for white elephant parties! Especially if the recipient is good at dramatic readings...Published 4 months ago by N. M. Swanson
terrible book with weird permise and a must read for psychologistPublished 11 months ago by Amazon Customer
This is the most hilarious self-help book I have ever read. If you are feeling deeply upset, dark, or even just slightly moody, spend a few minutes reading any given random page in... Read morePublished 17 months ago by Paula Stewart