Enter your mobile number below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
Getting the download link through email is temporarily not available. Please check back later.

  • Apple
  • Android
  • Windows Phone
  • Android

To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.

Qty:1
  • List Price: $14.99
  • Save: $3.11 (21%)
FREE Shipping on orders with at least $25 of books.
Usually ships within 2 to 4 weeks.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
How We Love Our Kids: The... has been added to your Cart
+ $3.99 shipping
Used: Very Good | Details
Sold by nanasbooknook
Condition: Used: Very Good
Comment: .Normal wear to cover.
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

How We Love Our Kids: The Five Love Styles of Parenting Paperback – March 15, 2011

4.4 out of 5 stars 99 customer reviews

See all 4 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Price
New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$11.88
$7.79 $7.78

The Amazon Book Review
The Amazon Book Review
Author interviews, book reviews, editors picks, and more. Read it now
$11.88 FREE Shipping on orders with at least $25 of books. Usually ships within 2 to 4 weeks. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
click to open popover

Frequently Bought Together

  • How We Love Our Kids: The Five Love Styles of Parenting
  • +
  • How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage
  • +
  • How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage
Total price: $28.36
Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for How We Love Our Kids

“Milan and Kay provide us with the tools of self-awareness which can enable us to consciously examine the love styles of the past and become conscious of the stored feelings and emotions that we carry forward into parenting. This book will now be one of my primary reading recommendations.”
Michael W. Shannon, MD

“Another home run for Milan and Kay Yerkovich!”
— Sherrie Eldridge, speaker and author of Twenty Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed

“After reading this book, our first thoughts were, Every parent needs to read this book—regardless of the ages of their children, and, Reading this book could not only protect children from the pains of growing up but also heal the parents’ hearts. This book offers insightful, practical ways of understanding children and parenting. We recommend it.”
—Roger and Becky Tirabassi, authors of Let Love Change Your Life

“This book is a true gift to parents who yearn to understand and communicate with their children, thus bringing about healing and restoration. Milan and Kay remind us that God is our perfect model for parenting. This book has touched my life, and I know it will touch yours too.”
—Elizabeth John, MD

“Milan and Kay provide us an entirely new way of looking at parenting. Rather than focusing solely on the how-tos of parenting, they help us explore the powerful forces of our own upbringings on how we parent and provide a path to change those forces for good in the lives of our children. As a parent educator for over twenty-five years, I see this book as the resource we’ve been missing!”
—Laura Taggart, licensed marriage and family therapist

“Finally! A treatment of parenting that acknowledges the eight-hundred pound gorilla in the room: parents working out their personal issues on their children. If you want to transform your child’s life, then let Milan and Kay gently, firmly, and skillfully guide you on this amazing journey of personal change.”
—Kenny Luck, author of Soar, Fight, and Dream

“Imagine decreasing the drama in your home by simply learning how to comfort one another. How We Love Our Kids unfolds five distinct love styles in parenting—their traits, strengths, and pitfalls. The real-life stories allow us to see ourselves and how we naturally express ourselves to our children. Whatever blend of love styles is under your roof, Milan and Kay will show you the direct route to building deeper love, intimacy, and connection.”
—Sheri Denham, PhD, MFT, and co-host of New Life Live

“If you’ve ever struggled with being a good enough parent, ever been triggered by your child’s behavior in ways you’d be too embarrassed to recount, or ever compensated with your child to override your guilt, then you won’t want to miss How We Love Our Kids!”
— Jill Hubbard, PhD, co-host of New Life Live and author of The Secrets Women Keep and The Secrets Young Women Keep

“Milan and Kay have given us great insights into how our own attachment issues affect our parenting styles. Every parent needs to read this book, regardless of the ages of their kids.”
—David Stoop, PhD, author of Just Us and Forgiving the Unforgivable

About the Author

Milan and Kay Yerkovich are parents of four grown childrenMilan is a pastoral counselor and co-host of the radio show, New Life Live! with Stephen Arterburn. Milan has a master’s degree in biblical studies and is the founder of Relationship 180, a ministry that helps leaders build healthy relationships. Kay has a master’s in counseling and has specialized in successful bonding between couples, parents, and children for 20 years. Their website, where they provide resources in these areas, is www.howwelove.com. When they aren’t traveling to speak, the Yerkovichs enjoy their four grandchildren.
NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

New York Times best sellers
Browse the New York Times best sellers in popular categories like Fiction, Nonfiction, Picture Books and more. See more

Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: WaterBrook (March 15, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307729249
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307729248
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (99 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,566 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Wow! what an insite into how we love.I always told my children that their father can't help how he is,that is how he grew up. We only do what we learn from our parents or caretakers.I was right on most of the stuff.. but seeing myself, was sure an eye opener..just using different vocabulary, can change the way your child responds to you. Great, and easy reading. A must have book for every parent, and grandparent. You can never stop learning and loving ...in the way "they" need it.
Comment 16 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback
Parents, reading this book is the best gift you could give your children and yourself. While it gives practical and insightful ways to understand and parent your children, it is not about a technique. It is about understanding your heart and soul as a parent, and learning how to give that to your children. Milan and Kay do so by helping us examine the dynamics of our own upbringing so that we can make the changes in our relationship styles that create rewarding and healthy relationships with our kids. Read this book and see how much sense it makes!

Larry Hamilton, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Comment 18 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback
This book is a fantastic sequel to the first book, "How We Love." No matter who you are and where you've come from, it is possible to love your children the way they need in the most healthy and nurturing way. Every child would be lucky to have their parents or parent read this. Being a parent constitutes a whirlwind of triggers. "How We Love Our Kids" is THE best tool to handle our pasts that will help better shape our relationships with our children, and they with theirs.
Comment 15 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback
Every time I pick up a parenting book I seem to learn something. This book was no different, it focused on parenting types. The authors make it easy to find the best love style to relate to your child based on their personality. How we Love our Kids by Milan and Kay Yerkovich is a book that will help you relate to your children regardless of their age. It also gives perspective on your parenting style based on how you were raised. It gives advantages and disadvantages to each of the different styles.

I enjoyed the parent tool box in the back of the book. It was a way that I could tangibly relate to the material and put in into practice. I love how they explain how to increase your child's emotional I.Q. I also found the soul words and comfort circle especially helpful. This isn't a book you can fully implement changes in one day. It will take awareness and behavior changes to make a difference. I learned a lot from the book and will keep it as a reference for future reference.

I was given this book by Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review.
Comment 6 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback
The book starts out with a set of parenting styles, believing that the key to understanding how to love our kids is by understanding how we were loved as a child. One of the best things I gleaned from the book is that it is my job as a parent to not only identify who my child is and what his triggers are, but to help them identify them and how to cope with them. This must start with an honest evaluation of yourself.

The downside of this book is that, I believe, it spends way too much time analyzing things from a psychological perspective and not enough time dealing with people from a Biblical perspective. Let me try to get more specific...

There are many times where the authors will go into complete detail about how someone could become a vacillator, controller, avoider, pleaser, or victim parent and they pin all of this on how that person's parents raised them. The solution to the problem is not to look to Christ, but to seek help in group counseling (which, they state, can be through a church group). Their solutions to many of the problems is group counseling.

Another problem I've had with the book is that in some places it is implied that the appropriate way to show love to a child is to let them make decisions. Now, to an extent this may be a valid idea, but this can also get out of hand because there is a time where the parent must make the decision and the child must obey the decision. I've found that when you continually let kids make a lot of decisions, they tend to believe that they have options even when they do not. Things have to be age appropriate.

On the whole, I'd recommend this book, because it provides a good deal of introspection.
Read more ›
Comment 5 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have only young children now, but what I learned from this book will affect how I treat these babies as kids and teens. Its a great read for shaping your philosophy of parenting.
Comment 7 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback
This book takes a look at some of the dysfunctions parents may have that might be keeping them from having healthy, loving relationships with their children, and may in turn negatively impact their children's future families as well. The book is divided into four parts, each which explore different personality types and try to help parents figure out how best to help their child where he or she is at.

Part 1, which seems like the bulk content of the book, on which everything else is based, challenges parents to determine how they parent and why. The biggest issue I had with this book is that all five of the so-called "love styles" are negative, and create an environment that is quite un-loving. Obviously, we're not perfect parents by any means, but I was rather taken aback when this book kept trying to pigeonhole me into one of these "types" -- either an avoider (an emotional robot who tries to distance themselves from their children), a pleaser (who lets the child run the show), a vacillator (who is hot and cold, with no in between), a controller (who is essentially emotionally abusive), or a victim (who is passive and overly compliant to all demands). I had a lot of trouble relating to this part of the book, and was confused that these were the only options presented. Perhaps if I had read the authors' first book on Love Styles, it would make more sense to me, and perhaps I'm missing an essential element, but telling me that I must fit into one of these categories left me confused and frustrated. Since the rest of the book seemed to pivot on the idea that your children are the way that they are because of your so-called "love style," I found a lot of it hard to connect to my own personal life.
Read more ›
1 Comment 21 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse

Most Recent Customer Reviews