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How Proust Can Change Your Life Paperback – April 28, 1998
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Alain de Botton combines two unlikely genres—literary biography and self-help manual—in the hilarious and unexpectedly practical How Proust Can Change Your Life.
Who would have thought that Marcel Proust, one of the most important writers of our century, could provide us with such a rich source of insight into how best to live life? Proust understood that the essence and value of life was the sum of its everyday parts. As relevant today as they were at the turn of the century, Proust's life and work are transformed here into a no-nonsense guide to, among other things, enjoying your vacation, reviving a relationship, achieving original and unclichéd articulation, being a good host, recognizing love, and understanding why you should never sleep with someone on a first date. It took de Botton to find the inspirational in Proust's essays, letters and fiction and, perhaps even more surprising, to draw out a vivid and clarifying portrait of the master from between the lines of his work.
Here is Proust as we have never seen or read him before: witty, intelligent, pragmatic. He might well change your life.
- Print length208 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherVintage
- Publication dateApril 28, 1998
- Dimensions5.16 x 0.56 x 7.98 inches
- ISBN-100679779159
- ISBN-13978-0679779155
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"One of my favorite books of the year.... Seriously cheeky, cheekily serious." —Julian Barnes
"Curious, humorous, didactic, and dazzling.... It contains more human interest and play of fancy than most fiction." —John Updike, The New Yorker
"A witty, elegant book that helps us learn what reading is for." —Doris Lessing
"A wonderful meditation on aspects of Proust in the form of a self-help book. Very enjoyable." —Sebastian Faulks
"Funny and very refreshing." —San Francisco Chronicle
From the Inside Flap
Who would have thought that Marcel Proust, one of the most important writers of our century, could provide us with such a rich source of insight into how best to live life? Proust understood that the essence and value of life was the sum of its everyday parts. As relevant today as they were at the turn of the century, Proust's life and work are transformed here into a no-nonsense guide to, among other things, enjoying your vacation, reviving a relationship, achieving original and unclichéd articulation, being a good host, recognizing love, and understanding why you should never sleep with someone on a first date. It took de Botton to find the inspirational in Proust's essays, letters and fiction and, perhaps even more surprising, to draw out a vivid and clarifying portrait of the master from between the lines of his work.
Here is Proust as we have never seen or read him before: witty, intelligent, pragmatic. He might well change your life.
From the Back Cover
Who would have thought that Marcel Proust, one of the most important writers of our century, could provide us with such a rich source of insight into how best to live life? Proust understood that the essence and value of life was the sum of its everyday parts. As relevant today as they were at the turn of the century, Proust's life and work are transformed here into a no-nonsense guide to, among other things, enjoying your vacation, reviving a relationship, achieving original and uncliched articulation, being a good host, recognizing love, and understanding why you should never sleep with someone on a first date. It took de Botton to find the inspirational in Proust's essays, letters and fiction and, perhaps even more surprising, to draw out a vivid and clarifying portrait of the master from between the lines of his work.
Here is Proust as we have never seen or read him before: witty, intelligent, pragmatic. He might well change your life.
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Q: Did Proust have any relevant thoughts on dating? What should one talk about on a first date?
A: Advice is scant. A more fundamental doubt is whether one should accept dinner in the first place.
There is no doubt that a person's charms are less frequently a cause of love than a remark such as: "No, this evening I shan't be free."
If this response proves bewitching, it is because of the connection made...between appreciation and absence. Though a person may be filled with attributes, an incentive is nevertheless required to ensure that a seducer will focus wholeheartedly on these, an incentive which finds perfect form in
a dinner rebuff.
Q: Was he against sex before marriage?
A: No, just before love. And not for any starchy reasons, simply because he felt it wasn't a good idea to sleep together when encouraging someone to fall in love was a consideration.
Women who are to some extent resistant, whom one cannot possess at once, whom one does not even know at first whether one will ever possess, are the only interesting ones.
Q: Surely not?
A: Other women may of course be fascinating, the problem is that they risk not seeming so...
Q: Are there any secrets to long-lasting relationships?
A: Infidelity. Not the act itself, but the threat of it. For Proust, an injection of jealousy is the only thing capable of rescuing a relationship ruined by habit...The threat of losing their partner
may lead them to realize that they have not appreciated this person adequately...If someone threatens the relationship, they get jealous, wake up for a moment, have another kiss with the horny tusk, and get bored once more. Condensed into a male heterosexual version, the situation runs
like this:
Afraid of losing her, we forget all the others. Sure of keeping her, we compare her with the those others whom at once we prefer to her.
Product details
- Publisher : Vintage; First Edition (April 28, 1998)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 208 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0679779159
- ISBN-13 : 978-0679779155
- Item Weight : 7.2 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.16 x 0.56 x 7.98 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #329,708 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #50 in French Literary Criticism (Books)
- #116 in French Literature (Books)
- #806 in Literary Criticism & Theory
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Alain de Botton is the author of Essays in Love (1993), The Romantic Movement (1994), Kiss and Tell (1995), How Proust can Change your Life (1997), The Consolations of Philosophy (2000) The Art of Travel (2002), Status Anxiety (2004) and most recently, The Architecture of Happiness (2006).
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book insightful and entertaining, providing a rich source of thought. They describe it as an enjoyable read with visual appeal. However, opinions differ on the humor - some find it funny and clever, while others find it silly or not worth reading.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book insightful and entertaining. They find it provides a rich source of wisdom about living life, with interesting guides to famous philosophers. The author imparts much wisdom with Proust's life as the backdrop. Readers appreciate the background and literary criticism. Overall, they say the book is well-written and referenced.
"...If you've read any of de Botton's other books, then you know he's intelligent, informed, cocky, irreverent and witty. Really an entertaining writer...." Read more
"...writers of our century, could provide you with such a rich source of insight into how best to live life?..." Read more
"I'm posting this on behalf of a friend:The book has such wide application...." Read more
"...When you walk around the kitchen, you will say to yourself, this is interesting, this is grand, this is beautiful like a Chardin...." Read more
Customers enjoy the book. They find it delightful, worthwhile, and a fun audiobook that provides insight into Proust's life and writings. The book is described as sweet and cool, like most of the writer's works.
"...The book is meant to be fun, so take it for what it is. I'm glad I made time to read it." Read more
"What a sweet, witty book!..." Read more
"...Botton is a clever writer and intelligent analyst, quite enjoyable. So why 4 stars? Because he's not THAT good, lol." Read more
"...Marcel Proust, and his book In Search of Lost Time, into a thoroughly enjoyable unconventional self-help manual...." Read more
Customers find the book visually appealing. They say it provides a worthwhile look at art and philosophy with some pearls of wisdom. The title is flashy and the author has a unique lens with which he shares his observations.
"...will say to yourself, this is interesting, this is grand, this is beautiful like a Chardin...." Read more
"What I liked about this book, aside from it being visually attractive, is that it gathers together a lot of interesting Proust quotes that had gone..." Read more
"Enjoyed this. De Botton has an extremely unique lens with which he shares his observations ...." Read more
"...For the Proust fans, this book looks like a great find. Only to result in disappointment once you start reading...." Read more
Customers find the book's character analysis interesting and educational. They say it provides insight into Proust's life and writings.
"This book was a very interesting treatise on human characters, not to mention Proust himself...." Read more
"A fun little audio-book, provides insight into Proust's life and writings. It did leave me pleased but a little disappointed...." Read more
"Educational, frank and human." Read more
Customers have different views on the humor in the book. Some find it witty and irreverent, with humorous comparisons and remarks. Others feel it's silly, superficial, and lacking literary judgement.
"...'s other books, then you know he's intelligent, informed, cocky, irreverent and witty. Really an entertaining writer...." Read more
"...It seemed sort of superficial and breezy to me, in comparison to the subject which it addresses. Why not just read the novel instead?..." Read more
"What a sweet, witty book!..." Read more
"...aside." And in between I thoroughly enjoyed Alain's musings, humor, insights, and overall point of view - not the least of which is how he..." Read more
Reviews with images
A guide on how to make lemonades out of lemons, with examples!
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on January 27, 2009This is probably the most approachable and happiest work on Proust ever written. It's a small book and easy to read, yet holds some nice surprises and insights. Some of the harsher reviews, I think, find fault with it for not being what it was never meant to be.
At only 200 pages, with plenty of illustrations and blank spaces, it's no substitute for reading Proust, and it's not intended as a scholarly monograph. A few found the title deceptive, and were disappointed to discover it is not a self-help book.
If you've read any of de Botton's other books, then you know he's intelligent, informed, cocky, irreverent and witty. Really an entertaining writer. He's also conceited, and probably speaks better French than most of his readers, which is always enraging, and if anyone wants to give him a one-star for that, I can certainly understand it.
If you have a somber veneration for Proust, believe me, de Botton's flippant style is going to make you reach for the anti-acid tablets. Still, there is an absurd side to Proust's life, as Proust himself saw, and to be fair, de Botton reminds the reader, that as in the case of the artist Elstir, it was Proust's whole life, the grotesque as well as the sublime, that brought his art to bloom.
Despite his flashy erudition de Botton makes grammar errors that would have sent Proust to Cabourg for his nerves. After awhile you wonder if the author doesn't purposely salt those in now and then just to give the book "sprezzatura" -- a kind of artistic nonchalance.
I've read Proust, and about Proust, more than I have any author but Dickens, and I still found much I didn't know, lots of it trivia (Proust's phone nunber) but also fresh thoughts and new ways of looking at Proust's life and work. The book is meant to be fun, so take it for what it is. I'm glad I made time to read it.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 6, 2024Who would have thought that Marcel Proust, one of the most important writers of our century, could provide you with such a rich source of insight into how best to live life? Proust understood that the essence and value of life was the sum of its everyday parts. As relevant today as they were at the turn of the century, Proust's life and work are transformed here into a no-nonsense guide to enjoying your vacation, reviving a relationship, achieving original and unclichéd articulation, being a good host, recognizing love, and understanding why you should never sleep with someone on a first date. If you've read even one volume of Remembrance of Time Past you need to sit down and read this little book. A cup of lemon tea and madeleine will help.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 18, 2004I'm posting this on behalf of a friend:
The book has such wide application. I think I benefited particularly, as a "writer" of sorts, from de Botton's discussion of the avoidance of cliche, of expressing yourself clearly, of NOT letting a great work of literature (or art, or music) paralyze your own voice. Then there were echoes, too, in the part on suffering successfully with some of what Dr. Timothy Johnson covered in that book my mom sent me.
And perhaps because it's fresh in my brain, having read it just a matter of hours ago, I really enjoyed his assertion that there's folly in trying to soak up some sort of cosmic significance in monuments, historical sites, and other artifacts that artistic idolaters hold dear. How many times have I found myself at So-and-So's ancestral birthplace, or the site where Such-and-Such wrote his opus, and felt...absolutely nothing. Just a place. Just a house. And I always thought my lack of emotion was a consequence of my shallowness.
Granted, I didn't agree with all of de Botton's conclusions (a stance of which I think Proust would approve), and was somewhat taken aback with his notions on friendship--I mean, what if I really DO want to know whether my poetry stinks or not? And sometimes, I felt as if he was weaving elaborate Proustian examples in order to illustrate some pretty basic points.
But in all, even if de Botton didn't exactly change my life, I'm more prepared than ever to start "Swann's Way" and see if Proust can. (Seriously, I'm actually looking forward--with trepidation, mind you--to starting that thing. But the time! When will I find the time?!)
- Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2013I know that this book is meant to be taken light-heartedly, but I was disappointed. It seemed sort of superficial and breezy to me, in comparison to the subject which it addresses. Why not just read the novel instead? Also, there's some fine writing about Proust in the Yale French Studies book "Autour de Racine: Studies in Intertextuality," which is much more exciting.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2019What a sweet, witty book! The author derives life lessons from Proust's deeds and writings (as well as the characters in In Search of Lost Time) in a captivating way. More interesting yet, even though Proust himself enjoyed a rather lavish lifestyle he often points out the need to enjoy the simple things and contends that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Or as put at some point in his Opus:
- When you walk around the kitchen, you will say to yourself, this is interesting, this is grand, this is beautiful like a Chardin.
Maybe that's the lesson he learned from his own characters. Just like he would've said: a good book is greater than its author.
5.0 out of 5 stars A guide on how to make lemonades out of lemons, with examples!What a sweet, witty book! The author derives life lessons from Proust's deeds and writings (as well as the characters in In Search of Lost Time) in a captivating way. More interesting yet, even though Proust himself enjoyed a rather lavish lifestyle he often points out the need to enjoy the simple things and contends that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Or as put at some point in his Opus:
Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2019
- When you walk around the kitchen, you will say to yourself, this is interesting, this is grand, this is beautiful like a Chardin.
Maybe that's the lesson he learned from his own characters. Just like he would've said: a good book is greater than its author.
Images in this review
- Reviewed in the United States on September 24, 2024What I liked about this book, aside from it being visually attractive, is that it gathers together a lot of interesting Proust quotes that had gone right by me when I read Proust. Botton is a clever writer and intelligent analyst, quite enjoyable. So why 4 stars? Because he's not THAT good, lol.
Top reviews from other countries
Steve MReviewed in Canada on October 7, 20185.0 out of 5 stars De Botton and Proust where's my inhaler?
Lovely quiet narrative of a literary rock star living in the shadow of Father and brother .. devoid of sufficient testosterone levels and turn of the century dismissal of asthmatics. Both Proust and his predecessor Chopin would have tarried with us for many more decades had they been born in the last 50 years. De Botton has keen insight into talent and privilege I suspect his family had lofty ideas for his brilliance but alas he travails as a seafarer for us working class so that we can have someone articulate our delights and reflections.
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Client d'AmazonReviewed in Germany on January 25, 20185.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful, witty and well-written book containing some simple, but surprisingly powerful perspective-changing ideas
A wonderful, witty and well-written book containing some simple, but surprisingly powerful perspective-changing ideas based on Proust's writings. For example, in the very beginning, Proust shows us a way of looking at art: he had developed an interesting way to relate to the art objects in the museum. Every time he looked at old paintings he tried to match the person from the art piece with somebody that he knew. Suddenly, the person depicted on the wall seemed much more real. We start to understand that he/she could have had quite similar struggles to ours. It's no longer an ancient figure that we watch like a chimpanzee in a zoo, but a real human being.
I tried to use this technique and it really increased my awareness. The book is full of similar ideas.
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GurtleReviewed in the Netherlands on August 30, 20175.0 out of 5 stars Good read
I enjoyed reading this book. It changed my life for sure. Alain uses a whole arsenal of difficult words, but I guess that’s good for my vocabulary. Read it, you won’t regret it.
Mattia DamaggioReviewed in Italy on January 25, 20175.0 out of 5 stars Alain de Botton: wise, smart, good and clear
Well written and easily readable book. Contains very interesting insights both applicable to the reading of Proust and to one's practical aspects of everyday life. I wish many more books could combine their usefulness with such clarity!
Mr Abhijeet GuptaReviewed in Australia on June 23, 20185.0 out of 5 stars In defence of nostalgia
To those who consider nostalgia beneficial, often need to defend it against its detractors who advocate the usefulness of being in the present moment. This book will provide a useful insight as to why it is worthwhile to persist in the search of lost time, for as Socrates claimed, ‘the unexamined life is not worth living!’







