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How Relationships Work Paperback – September 15, 2008
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Top customer reviews
Some people might think the information in this book is very basic, but I thought it was very NECESSARY, especially the part about the rules. A lot of the rules (like Husband/Wife roles/rules) seem common sense (unspoken and expected), even simplistic, but for a lot of people (like me, who grew up in a dysfunctional family - but, aren't all families dysfunctional in some way or another?) the rules really helped to define the relationships. Just seeing the rules WRITTEN out made the relationships clearer to me.
After reading HRW I realized that I have a lot less "friends" than I thought. Most of my so-called "friends" are actually "acquaintances", "neighbors" or "coworkers." Just realizing that cleared up a lot of minor relationship problems for me.
Using HRW is SO CLEAR. I had a huge 'Ah-Ha' moment, when I read the section about the generic role and the person filling the role. Dr. Pollard uses an example of how different the role of Father would be with Bill Cosby or Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Father. I could have saved myself YEARS of suffering/therapy if I had known that information earlier in my life. It has also changed my perspective and expectations in my relationships today.
I have recommended Dr. John Pollard's Self-Parenting books: 1. Self-Parenting: The Complete Guide to Your Inner Conversations, and 2. The Self Parenting Program (You Can Become Your Own Loving Parent to everyone I know, and now I will recommend How Relationships Work, too.