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How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders Paperback – September 7, 2004

4.6 out of 5 stars 104 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

David Solie, MA, PA is an expert in the psychology of aging, and the President of RiskTutor, a professional training corporation.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Prentice Hall Press; Fourth Printing edition (September 7, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0735203806
  • ISBN-13: 978-0735203808
  • Product Dimensions: 7.4 x 0.5 x 9.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (104 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #26,974 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
It's shocking that this book is being marketed merely to professionals who must deal with the vagaries of the senior personality. It's simply the best book on the subject I've read. The author has a huge heart for seniors and those who work with them--professionals, certainly, but also neighbors, friends, children, grandchildren.

If you're looking for a book on how to manhandle or finesse the elderly into doing what you want (even for their own good), then this isn't for you. Solie explains the new goals seniors face as they contemplate their lives--often alone, as peers and spouses die--and the twin conflicting motivations they must wrangle with--the need for control, and the need to let go. Walking us through their worlds--a world that, if we're honest, we can't but guess at--Solie gently prods us to reevaluate WHY we are communicating so poorly, and how we can improve. In the end, it is we who must change, especially our instinct to bully the senior into a more comfortable situation (usually for US, but as always, "for their own good").

Respect, love, sympathy, and cheer shine out of his writing and text. I read it in one sitting, and found myself in tears. Why didn't I have this book when my mother was still alive?
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Format: Paperback
David Solie has written a remarkable book - "How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communications Gap with our Elders." It's aimed squarely at baby boomers who are attempting to handle the difficulties, frustrations, and guilt they feel as they try to achieve effective communication with their elders. Such attempts often fail because of the different agendas held by the middle-aged and the elderly. Mr Solie has unearthed two principal motives in elderly people's verbal and non-verbal behavior - to maintain control over their lives, and to discover their legacy, or how they will be remembered.

The book's approach is logical. Theory is presented, examples of miscommunication are provided, and solutions (or, at the very least, reasonable alternative approaches) are offered. Mr Solie suggests that the reader looks first at the sections that most directly apply to a particular situation, and then returns to the theoretical underpinnings for adapting their behavior. Everyone - whatever age - can relate to the examples chosen, and I submit that everyone can learn from the solutions offered. The writing is clear, simple, and pithy. I particularly liked the apt quotations used in the chapter headings. As a 73-year-old, I cannot recommend this book too highly.
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Format: Paperback
By profession I am an estate planner. I have ushered both parents from this earth after confronting their very real crises in their search for answers in what their limited future would hold for them.

Mr. Solie addresses our frustrations in communicating with the elderly. I am embarassed at my annoyance with my parents for what was their pain. A pain I could not feel because I did not understand.

Mr. Solie's concept is simple: Our "problem" with seniors and their quirks is their search for a peace of mind at life's end. This revelation elevates an obligation of a child in putting up with "irrational" seniors to the act of offering them a path to mental balance. Put this way, the relationship approaches being a holy task.

More than this, understanding Mr. Solie's insight, offers all of us a guide to our own search for meaning in lives that often turned out much different than we thought they would.
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Format: Paperback
I have read over thirty book offering advice to professionals in the Securities and Planning industry in the last couple of years. This book is by far the most important book I have read. It provides critical advice on how to deal with some of advisors most important clients. Using Solie's advice can help advisors impact peoples lives far beyond their money. Communication with older people has been some of the most difficult conversations I have had professionally and within my own family. I only wish I had read this book when my Mother was still alive.
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Format: Paperback
Every now and then a new work comes along that once you read it-it forever changes the way you see the world. "How To Say It To Seniors" is one of those rare books. If everyone having a communication problem with their elders or even juniors for that matter were to read this book, an enormous cloud of noxious frustrated miscommunication would lift from America like the sudden clearing of a heavy fog-a fog of despair.

This book was written in part to help business professionals in dealing with seniors, but it is also profoundly useful in helping baby boomers communicate successfully with their aging parents. If you are experiencing a communications disconnect with an elder or know someone who is, then this advice will have a very positive impact of your life. "How To Say It To Seniors" gets the highest recommendation that I can give along with the full realization that it has the potential to save you from a lifetime of regret. Here is a chance to communicate with your elders while there is still time. I hope this books winds up on the best-seller list and remains there, the world will be a much better place for it.
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