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How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders Paperback – September 7, 2004
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Top Customer Reviews
If you're looking for a book on how to manhandle or finesse the elderly into doing what you want (even for their own good), then this isn't for you. Solie explains the new goals seniors face as they contemplate their lives--often alone, as peers and spouses die--and the twin conflicting motivations they must wrangle with--the need for control, and the need to let go. Walking us through their worlds--a world that, if we're honest, we can't but guess at--Solie gently prods us to reevaluate WHY we are communicating so poorly, and how we can improve. In the end, it is we who must change, especially our instinct to bully the senior into a more comfortable situation (usually for US, but as always, "for their own good").
Respect, love, sympathy, and cheer shine out of his writing and text. I read it in one sitting, and found myself in tears. Why didn't I have this book when my mother was still alive?
The book's approach is logical. Theory is presented, examples of miscommunication are provided, and solutions (or, at the very least, reasonable alternative approaches) are offered. Mr Solie suggests that the reader looks first at the sections that most directly apply to a particular situation, and then returns to the theoretical underpinnings for adapting their behavior. Everyone - whatever age - can relate to the examples chosen, and I submit that everyone can learn from the solutions offered. The writing is clear, simple, and pithy. I particularly liked the apt quotations used in the chapter headings. As a 73-year-old, I cannot recommend this book too highly.
Mr. Solie addresses our frustrations in communicating with the elderly. I am embarassed at my annoyance with my parents for what was their pain. A pain I could not feel because I did not understand.
Mr. Solie's concept is simple: Our "problem" with seniors and their quirks is their search for a peace of mind at life's end. This revelation elevates an obligation of a child in putting up with "irrational" seniors to the act of offering them a path to mental balance. Put this way, the relationship approaches being a holy task.
More than this, understanding Mr. Solie's insight, offers all of us a guide to our own search for meaning in lives that often turned out much different than we thought they would.
This book was written in part to help business professionals in dealing with seniors, but it is also profoundly useful in helping baby boomers communicate successfully with their aging parents. If you are experiencing a communications disconnect with an elder or know someone who is, then this advice will have a very positive impact of your life. "How To Say It To Seniors" gets the highest recommendation that I can give along with the full realization that it has the potential to save you from a lifetime of regret. Here is a chance to communicate with your elders while there is still time. I hope this books winds up on the best-seller list and remains there, the world will be a much better place for it.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Yes! Great guidance, and a must-read for boomers dealing with aging parents, or professionals who frequently work with seniors. Read morePublished 8 days ago by DebFried
Helpful, but need to practice. Necessary read for adults who are trying to manage their revised relationship with their parents.Published 1 month ago by Isabella Baldasare
John's wife reviewing here- I work in an assisted living community, and this is one of the best books I've seen for adult children struggling to engage with their aging parents in... Read morePublished 1 month ago by JOHN MORRIS CANTILLON
Another book that was used for my Elder's Class. My professor is a life coach for working with seniors. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Edna E. Brown
If you do not know what to say to an elderly person or feel you constantly get into arguments or get frustrated or irritated. This is the book to read. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Viviana