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Sandra L. Brown

How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved Paperback – April 15, 2005

by M.A. Sandra L. Brown (Author)

428 ratings

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How to Spot a Dangerous Man Workbook: A Survival Guide for Women
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This savvy, straightforward book pairs real women's stories with research and the expertise of a domestic violence counselor to help women of all ages identify Dangerous Men -- before they become too involved.

Brown describes eight types of Dangerous Men, their specific traits and characteristics. In separate chapters, she explores victim’s stories that tell how they came in contact with this type of Dangerous Man and their outcome. Brown then shows readers how to develop a Defense Strategy -- how to spot, avoid, or rid themselves of this type of Dangerous Man.

Brown explains women's innate "red flag" systems -- how they work to signal impending danger, and why many women learn to ignore them. With red flags in hand, Brown then guides readers through their own personal experiences to develop a personalized "Do Not Date" list. With these tools, Brown shows women how they can spot and avoid patterns of engagement with Dangerous Men.

Print length

262 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Hunter House
Publication date

April 15, 2005
Dimensions

5.5 x 0.56 x 8.5 inches
ISBN-10

9780897934473
ISBN-13

978-0897934473
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Sandra's topic really hit home with our viewers! She presents valuable information in an easy-to-understand, straight-forward manner." -- Jennifer Austin, Producer, Northwest Afternoon, KOMO-TV / ABC Seattle, WA

"Very interesting information and she knows her topic well. Thanks!" -- Kerri Williamson, Producer, AM Northwest, KATU-TV / ABC Portland, OR

"Well worth a read for every woman, single or not." -- Orlando Sentinel

"chock full of practical adviceThese valuable tips could save women and their children a lot of un-needed hurt and anxiety." -- Marci Wise, Producer, Daytime, WFLA-TV / NBC Tampa-St. Petersburg

"fascinating and fabulous!" -- Melissa Jones, Producer, Good Morning Texas, WFAA-TV / ABC Dallas-Ft. Worth, Texas

[Sandra's]work has done wonders in the lives of our clients...Our staff could not be more pleased by the results. -- Renee L. Rose, Domestic Violence Advocate, Salvation Army Domestic Violence Program

From the Publisher

Fortunately, risky dating behaviors can be targeted and altered. Using checklists, exercises, and a direct approach honed in her workshops, Brown shows women how to choose partners wisely, avoid pain and danger, and improve their chances of hooking up with good men. How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved is for all women who have a history of bad relationships and want to regain control of their lives. It also serves as prevention for women who do not have a history of bad relationships and dont want one.

Sandy Brown has been in huge demand on television and radio programs across the country. She cares deeply about her readers and wants to help them.

From the Author

The goal for this book is harm reduction for women and to help women live better lives free from men who are dangerous. Women get harmed by dangerous men in a myriad of ways of which, while not always on purpose, end up reducing the quality of her life. At the heart of this negative selection pattern is a woman's inability to know, recognize and avoid dangerous men. Our society has not taught women these skills. Instead, we focus on how to be sexier or more compatible. If you only pick dangerous men, these skills of knowing how to be sexier and more compatible are not going to help you. Why not learn the skills that will help you pick healthier and safer men?

Learning the eight categories of dangerous men, their signs and symptoms, and looking at why you have been with these men, will take you farther in reaching your own goals of relationship security and happiness than anything else you invest in. When you change your choices, you change your life.

From the Back Cover

In this savvy, straightforward guide, Sandra Brown provides tools that will help women save lives their own. She provides essential information on

* the character and behavior of eight types of dangerous men
* why women make themselves vulnerable to dangerous men
* how to take an honest inventory of your own dating behaviors
* the eleven signs of a bad dating choice
* how to make your own "do-not-date" checklist
* how to develop a support system for safe dating
* how to get out of a relationship with a dangerous man

About the Author

Sandra L. Brown, M.A., is a psychotherapist, lecturer and consultant in the field of psychopathology. She has provided counseling to women with chronic histories of abuse and to male perpetrators, and has worked in a wide range of treatment settings, from domestic violence shelters to psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. A companion to this book, the How to Spot a Dangerous Man Workbook, is also available from Hunter House. Ms. Browns first book, Counseling Victims of Violence, will be reissued in its thoroughly revised and updated second edition in 2006.

Start reading How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved on your Kindle in under a minute.

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Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0897934474
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Hunter House (April 15, 2005)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 262 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780897934473
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0897934473
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 0.035 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.56 x 8.5 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #84,673 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #198 in Abuse Self-Help
- #687 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)
- #5,667 in Parenting & Relationships (Books)

Customer Reviews:
428 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		76%
4 star		15%
3 star		4%
2 star		2%
1 star		3%

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Top reviews from the United States

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Acumama

Very insightful-fast read

Reviewed in the United States on September 2, 2017

Verified Purchase

I expected only the more obviously "dangerous" men I've dated to be described in this book, and they were. But even better, the "nice guys" I've been with, whom friends and family still can't understand why I left, are also very much in the book. Very validating and eye opening. Which highlights one gap in the book: when friends and family become enablers. At any rate, this book includes but goes well beyond assessing whether men are simply narcissistic or not. While not stated explicitly, these categories are perhaps a clear break down of the various ways toxic narcissism manifests, including (and counter intuitively) the red flag of making you the entire center of their attention. Although the author educates us on a number of personality disorders that are critical to recognize, not just narcissism. It's not enough to go into the dating world with visualizations of your ideal mate, good will, and a commitment to seek therapy when things get hard. Knowing how to recognize red flags to avoid a toxic relationship in the first place is essential. I only wish I'd read this book 35 years ago.

56 people found this helpful

Helpful

Anastasia McPherson

This Book Should be Given to All Women - Especially the Young!

Reviewed in the United States on July 9, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book is amazing! Loaded with insightful clarity about how women are duped into pathological relationships. There is a lot of cultural sexism and chauvinism involved as well and Brown doesn't delve into any of that, but it honestly doesn't matter. She gives clear portraits of pathological types that make them easily recognizable and avoidable. I saw a lot of people I've known in her descriptions and not just past relationships either.

This is still a man's world and women are still viewed primarily as sexual objects of desire. The sexual double standard is still firmly in place. Women are still judged first, last and always on what our relationships with men are like. And because of this we have a tendency to explain away pathological behavior. This book shows you how not to do that by describing pathology with such clarity that the reader will be both forewarned and forearmed. Women also need to stand together against pathological men, which means trying to teach the young. Keeping women apart and at war is a tactic of men so ingrained it is difficult to parse. But it is there. Start your own personal revolution by giving this book to young women you know - and not just giving the book, but being around to help evaluate problematic men that may come into a woman's life. Help women with self worth so that they are less vulnerable.

If this advice is coming too late and you have already been involved in a pathological relationship, Sandra L Brown runs the Safe Relationships Institute that offers healing courses on line and in person and she has been working on the therapeutic model for over two decades. Nor are her courses expensive. She really cares about women who have been abused in this way. My highest possible recommendation for the book and the author.

41 people found this helpful

Helpful

Rita

A private investigator once told me too many women get ...

Reviewed in the United States on May 27, 2017

Verified Purchase

A private investigator once told me too many women get hurt and killed each year, and it could be avoided if they would just take the time to get to know someone, watch the "warning signs" early in the relationship, and always do a BACKGROUND CHECK ON EVERYONE before seriously getting involved. People have "hidden agendas" and too many liars and scammers out there. Protect yourself ladies.

67 people found this helpful

Helpful

Amazon Customer

Invaluable and Eye-opening Read

Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2017

Verified Purchase

As a 23 year old woman from a dysfunctional family, this book was excellent. So much information in this book consists of things I would simply never considered as a factor of dating. There are a total of 13 chapters, with a good proportion of them devoted to a type of dangerous man. The last few chapters are success stories, and a general chapter about general red flags. The author also uses real life examples of women who have dated dangerous men and the outcomes , through-out.
I wouldn't skip around-simply read the book straight through. There were a few chapters i almost skipped, thinking "this doesn't apply to me, I don't attract that type of man" -read them anyway. You never know what type of man could walk into your life or you may see a resemblance to a man you've already dated or are dating.

One thing I really enjoyed about this book is how the author addresses that women aren't victims (in some scenarios) in many times we are simply volunteers- in the sense that we know something is wrong or off about a man- but we choose to engage them anyway. These are the two most important concepts of the book in my opinion: 1. acknowledging that a relationship is a mutual partnership that you "volunteer " for and can just as easily "un-volunteer" for and 2. Not only paying attention to any misgivings or red flags you have, but also heeding those, as overtime , with repeatedly ignoring our red flags, our alert system will be less effective.

This book deserves 5 stars and more and I recommended it to any woman of any age!

40 people found this helpful

Helpful

Kellly T

The only thing missing for me

Reviewed in the United States on April 24, 2019

Verified Purchase

The only thing missing for me was a "how to break up with" each type of dangerous man. In the case of violent abusers, breaking up can prove fatal if you think you can say, "This isn't working" and be on your way. Breaking up early in a developing relationship before you truly know what type of danger(s) you may be dealing with could require some finesse and I would have appreciated that topic being part of this.
Otherwise, this is a very helpful book. Most important to me was the reminder to keep listening to your own intuition and valuing the signals you're getting. I've read it twice now; once when I first got it and recently again when my red flags went up very soon after meeting someone, and sure enough, there he was described almost down to the exact words he told me! No wonder I felt so uneasy and I'm really glad I listened to the signals my intuition was sending me. It could have gotten ugly.
This book is well worth keeping around as a "study guide"!

14 people found this helpful

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

wendy roberts

repetitive drivel

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 2, 2022

Verified Purchase

Do not bother.. The same repetitive paragraphs over and over, with some cliche sentences thrown in as filler. Sure there are much better books out there..

M. K. Cormack

I'm reprogrammed

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 27, 2017

Verified Purchase

I wish I'd read this years ago I'd have been x saved a lot of grief. Every woman needs to engage her head with her heart and attachment system.

5 people found this helpful

Avaya

Eye opener

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 18, 2013

Verified Purchase

My eyes have really been opened by this book, I vow to keep them that way. It's quite empowering to be reminded that we all have a choice; we may not chose who our paths will cross with but we do have a choice about who stays and how close we let them get to us. If you are confused about a man I your life and just can't put your finger I the reasons for it ( or even if you already know) read this and it'll all become clear.

6 people found this helpful

bee field

Excellent

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 30, 2019

Verified Purchase

Excellent book for all singles and those already involved.

2 people found this helpful

Jerry

Provides useful considerations

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 9, 2015

Verified Purchase

Offering useful points that many may not have considered

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