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How To Start A Kinky Relationship: The definitive guide to starting and sustaining a healthy, loving, satisfying alternative relationship. Paperback – March 1, 2011
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Top customer reviews
James talks a lot about boundaries and the psychology of what is going on in your mind while playing. There is a part in there about taking about things that are legal and taking things to far which is a nice read. My favorite chapter was "melting the vanilla," which was about how to add some kink to already established relationships. There were some good examples on how to proceed and ideas of things to try to add kink and how to do it right when looking to explore your options. I will admit at first I did not enjoy the Devil's Advocate sections but somewhere in the middle, I really saw its purpose and enjoyed those sections.
The book is mostly about relationships and establishing them, holding on to them and not breaking the trust. The book talks a lot about how communication is key to a kinky relationship. Talking about ideas, things to try, likes and dislikes and how not communicating can hurt or destroy the relationship. As someone who has no experience in the kinky world, I found this interesting because it also makes sense for any sexual relationship. As reading I thought about some of my former relationships and how communication and openness might have helped them.
There are some stories in here that will make you laugh. As I was reading this on a plane, a buddy of mine sitting next to me read a few of James' stories and thought they were hilarious and finally asked me what I was reading. James personnel stories either funny or not have importance to what the audience will get out of the book.
In the back of this book is a glossary in case you do not know what something is and of course the unbelievable play sheet/suggestion sheet on all the kinky, vanilla and the awesomely disgusting things you can try.
This is a very open book about the world of kink and a great read. I would suggest this to those who already play, those starting, those interested and those that have strange fantasies they don't know what to make of it. Read it and go spank someone!
Then, I read the book and came across a chapter about the "New York Times" test and I quickly deleted my message to the author. You will have to read Amoureux's book to find out more. In `How To Start A Kinky Relationship', James uncovers the fundamentals as well as all the often overlooked psychological necessities to holding a true kinky relationship. Plus, with its workbook format it is quite interactive. `How To Start A Kinky Relationship' by James Amoureux is very detailed and thorough. I find myself flipping back through the pages to reread my notes and to glance over the extensive BDSM glossary as I learn more and more about this exciting lifestyle.
Who knew that the book I once wanted to hide from the world is now proudly displayed on my coffee table as a conversation starter for potential suitors. It has been and continues to be my go-to guide for exploring all that an alternative relationship has to offer.
With the explosion of "50 Shades of Grey" this is the perfect formal introduction to millions of men and women that would like to explore the side of them that was either hidden or suppressed. But on the same note, this book will not have the experienced community members rolling their eyes with basic vanilla concepts and methods. This is the perfect middle ground for the novices and experts.
The only book that touched my life that was so well written than this has been "The Ethical Slut." This book will be timeless like that book because it does not look down nor exclude anyone that picks it up. This is a must read.
The best things about the book are:
The extensive glossary of terms, ideas, and products. I never knew there was so much out there to play with...
The descriptions of the emotional aspects of kinky lifestyles. What is really going on during everything. The brain is the biggest erogenous zone after all.
The devils advocate sections! I am curious but cynical and these sections were talking directly to me. Answering my questions and disbelief right as I was thinking about it.
This was a great primer for getting the nerve to jump in and start checking out the people and scene. Read it and go experiment!!