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How to Succeed with Women Paperback – October 1, 1998
"Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress"
Is the world really falling apart? Is the ideal of progress obsolete? Cognitive scientist and public intellectual Steven Pinker urges us to step back from the gory headlines and prophecies of doom, and instead, follow the data: In seventy-five jaw-dropping graphs, Pinker shows that life, health, prosperity, safety, peace, knowledge, and happiness are on the rise. Learn more
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About the Author
David Copeland, gender studies expert, has traveled throughout the nation presenting personal development seminars since 1988. Ron Louis, author of Sexpectations, is press agent for Bioenergetics.
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The author's choose to model "successful seducers." That's fine, but be aware, or beware, they really mean "serial seducers." Though they report clients who are engaged, they do not report that they themselves are married or mention very many marriages among their clients.
The reason for this is clearly evident in an early chapter on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Seducers (I counted 13, what is the deal?): "A highly successful seducer always pursues more than one woman." In other words, you must actually be a "parallel" seducer. Serial doesn't work.
I readily concede the point that one needs to have several prospects with whom one is flirting or engaging in some mutual checking out, preferably in separate social venues but not in secret. This gives confidence and prevents a desperate out-of-balance pursuit. And I concede that many, perhaps most, women will overlook past partners, if they are not excessively numerous and were treated well and don't portend a lack of ability to commit (a pretty big if). But if a woman is to consider you for marriage, she will become very interdependent, and must therefore be able to trust you. If you don't believe me, try it for yourself. And be prepared, if necessary, to totally change your social group if it doesn't work out, because your reputation will get around. This might actually improve your odds as a seducer, but it will cross you off the marriagable list.
Another habit, that of looking at dating as a numbers game, can have a similar effect just based on the excessive number of women you flirt with, even if you don't bed any of them. Again, I'm not saying some toned down version of this wouldn't be helpful, but watch out about following this advice full tilt as the book suggests.
Other advice is similarly ambivalent. You are urged to never wait for a woman to take initiative, not to value one who does, and while accepting no for an answer on any given occasion, a conflicting habit urges persistence. One of my best friends, an engineer who considers him self nearly inept with the opposite sex, is 8-years happily married to a very attractive, personable woman who took the initiative with him after getting burned by one of the more flashy type guys. And yes, they have a wonderful sex life.
The book contains some useful ideas, I'm not panning it, but don't use it as your only source. Have at least three other dis-similar sources. Whatever sources you use, rely on your own experience and intuition. Ask yourself what the downside of advice could be, because the advice givers aren't required to disclose it.
A shorter, more useful source of information on flirting and meeting prospective partners is the SIRC Guide to Flirting available freely on the web. For an idea on how to close the deal in a romantic relationship, I suggest you watch a lot of romantic comedies that are about people you consider like yourself.
I gave this book a chance, and much to my surprise it had the answer key I was looking for. How to Succeed with Women is your own personal "Hitch" that will coach you all aspects in the art of seduction. Unlike other sources what merely present vague advice and tips, this book carefully lays out the do's/don't and tells you precisely how to handle females for success.
It covers every aspect of interacting with women: from how to meet them, to flirting, dating, the bedroom, and beyond. It will build your confidence, and get you understanding the universal psychology of how all females think. The best thing is how descriptive and straightforward it is. I particularly liked the imaginary scenarios presented with Bruce (an effective seducer) and Bob (the ineffective seducer). As you read through, you may even recognize Bob-like tendencies in yourself that can be easily corrected.
I have applied the material from this book and have met immediate success. As one chapter states, the system presented in this book works especially well on geeky/technical minded guys because it is simple as reading a manual! I agree - after putting this book to practice you will wish they had a chapter on handling too many babes. Better yet, fully applying it will help you reinvent your lifestyle to not only succeed with women, but to become a cool character capable of facing all challenges of life.
Not at all insulting to women, or the reader's intelligence. I think every guy should get a copy of this book when he turns 16! Only problem is it's almost 500 pages long!
There are a lot of books out there on this topic, this one is really intelligently written. I've been telling everyone I talk to about this book - it's really made a big difference in my life. Helping me overcome my anxiety about asking women out!