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How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Paperback – October 10, 2003

4.2 out of 5 stars 404 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"You'll not only break the ice, you'll melt it away with your new skills."

"The lost art of verbal communication may be revitalized by Leil Lowndes."

Leil Lowndes' How to Talk to Anyone offers 101 time-tested hints, tips, and techniques for confidently communicating with others. A bestselling author and renowned communications consultant, Lowndes focuses on ice-breaking skills and communication techniques that are proven successful when making a positive first impression, establishing instant rapport and credibility, and more. Packeed with basic, no-nonsense advice and solid research evidence about which techniques work best in which areas, How to Talk to Anyone show readers how to:

From the Back Cover

"You'll not only break the ice, you'll melt it away with your new skills."
--Larry King

"The ultimate guide to the thinking person . . . an invaluable tool for conversations."
--Sally Jesse Raphael

Become a master communicator and succeed in life, love, and business

Have you ever admired those successful people who seem to have it all? You see them chatting confidently at parties and being listened to in business meetings. They're the ones with the best jobs, nicest parties, and most interesting friends.

But wait a minute. They're not necessarily smarter than you or even better looking. What it comes down to is their more skillful way of communicating with other people. Now How to Talk to Anyone reveals the secrets of successful communication. With Leil Lowndes's ninety-two easy and effective techniques, you will discover how to become a master communicator in life, love, and business.

Combining the latest research with Leil's trademark wit and warm-hearted observations of human foibles, How to Talk to Anyone shows you how to:

  • Make an unforgettable entrance and meet the people you want to meet
  • Sound like an insider in any crowd, no matter how little you have in common
  • Use body language to captivate audiences of all sizes
  • Work a party the way a politician works a room
  • Always come across confident, credible, and charismatic wherever you are

How to Talk to Anyone, which is an update of her popular book, Talking the Winner's Way (see the 5-star reviews of the latter) is based on solid research about techniques that work!

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 368 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill Education; 1st edition (October 10, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 007141858X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071418584
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 1 x 8.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (404 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,464 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Other reviewers called this book a how-to on being insincere and manipulative. I think they completely missed the point. This book is pure and simple a guide for professionals who are shy or need improvement in their social skills.

When you're in the business/professional world, social skills sign your checks, so this is an essential read for career-oriented people who are a little shy or are rusty at communicating. Not knowing how to make diplomatic small talk in this world is like showing up to work everyday wearing a HITLER WAS FRAMED t-shirt. The people who have natural social skills don't appreciate the fact that good social skills are taught. They're taught by parents, they're taught by friends, and some people just have to teach themselves. This book is pretty damn good for those people.
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I use to be so incredibly shy that I didn't even want to leave my house. At one point my father died and I realized my own mortality and decided to go out and become a better person and to get over my shyness. I bought a few books on confidence building and books on how to hold conversations with people. I had very bad friends who put me down and who were completely selfish. I just had bad company.

This book helped me so much in understanding how to hold a conversation with people. Leil Lowndes is a great writer and she really udnerstands what it takes to become more confident in your conversation and in yourself as a person.

Could you use this to be phony and superficial? Yup, but that's up to your personality and what you wish to take from this book. I decided to use this to be able to understand how to hold conversations with people and know how to create relationships. I used this one technique called the flooding smile and that as well as a few other techniques from this book and I'm now dating this beautiful girl and have a few new friends who are positive and make me feel good about myself. I bought this and the other books by Leil Lowndes. I'd definitely consider this book as one of my Meccas as well as a few other books.
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Format: Paperback
The 92 tricks in this book are techniques for making yourself more pleasant to talk to. People need the lubrication of small talk and etiquette for dealing with each other. Much of our interaction with each other is fairly shallow, but this shallow interaction is helpful for getting to the deeper interaction. Indeed, this book gives techniques for fairly shallow interaction between people, but knowing how to be good at shallow interaction gives you a larger number of people than you would have otherwise who are comfortable with you, with whom you can then have deeper interactions. "You see, small talk is not about facts or words. It's about music, about melody. Small talk is about putting people at ease. It's about making comforting noises together like cats purring, children humming, or groups chanting. You must first match your listener's mood." (p. 48) What I took away from this book is a greater respect for social graces.

The five top tricks that I want to remember are: look at someone for a moment before breaking into a smile (to make them feel that the smile is a response to them in particular, rather than something that's always pasted on your face); hang by your teeth posture (it seems like a good way to remember what good posture is supposed to look like); match the energy level of your conversation partner; when asked where you're from or what you do, give some story to make it interesting rather than merely giving a naked city or job; regularly scramble your life (do something you'd never dream of doing, to get a broad base of experiences that will give you something in common with a larger number of people).
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Format: Paperback
I borrowed this book from a friend. I was both impressed and turned off by it on many different levels. I have no interest in navigating the shark filled waters of corporate America or the yacht club and this book seems to be geared for those seeking entrée into that world. Of the 92 tips, the majority focused on working parties like a politician, making people think you like them when you secretly find them to be bores and pandering to native human egocentricity. Basically, it's a how-to guide for people who want to learn how to be charming and fake, without seeming to be fake. All very useful for ambitious corporate folks, entrepreneurs seeking financial backing, and even musicians looking to get a record deal, no doubt, but not very useful for average people looking to improve their social skills among friends.

For instance, the publisher's blurb on this site brags that the book shows you "7 ways to establish deep subliminal rapport with anyone". What they don't specify is that the author only shows you tricks to SIMULATE rapport with that person. This book is mostly about creating a complex, flexible illusion.

Although the author had many useful tips (I made myself a list of the 19 excellent tips I want to remember and incorporate into my own life) and her writing was very entertaining, I found myself thinking - "I'm glad she's not my friend. She may be a cool cat and a charmer, but she's also plastic."

So I'm giving the book a mixed review. Be aware of why you are buying it. If you want tips on how to network (a necessity for many people to succeed in their field), this book is probably nothing short of brilliant. She's keenly observant and gifted with the ability to analyze behavior and articulate it in an easy to understand manner.
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