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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk Paperback – February 7, 2012
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The 30 Best Self Help Books
This list reflects books that have saved lives and have sold millions of copies. Learn more on AbeBooks.com
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“Will bring about more cooperation from children than all the yelling and pleading in the world.” –Christian Science Monitor
“An excellent book that’s applicable to any relationship.” –Washington Post
“Practical, sensible, lucid…the approaches Faber and Mazlish lay out are so logical you wonder why you read them with such a burst of discovery.” –Family Journal
“An exceptional work, not simply just another ‘how to’ book…All parents can use these methods to improve the everyday quality of t heir relationships with their children.” –Fort Worth Star Telegram
About the Author
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are #1 New York Times bestselling and award-winning authors whose books have sold more than three million copies and have been translated into over thirty languages. How to Talk So Kids Can Learn—At Home and in School, was cited by Child Magazine as the “best book of the year for excellence in family issues in education.” The authors’ group workshop programs and videos produced by PBS are currently being used by parent and teacher groups around the world. They currently reside in Long Island, New York and each is the parent of three children.
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Top customer reviews
And boom - she completely calmed down. She sat next to me without saying anything, but I could tell, she was finally feeling what she was feeling -- rather than being upset and fighting to claim her right to feel what she was feeling, if that makes sense. And that was that. She stopped being upset and ate her broken candy cane.
There are so many other examples like this -- the 'one word' tip, the 'describe it/don't tell them what to do' tip, the 'write a wish list together' tip... I could go on. They really work!
Over the years I have bought many copies to replace my own copy that had become dog-eared from constant use, and to give as gifts to new mothers and mothers struggling with difficult children. The techniques also work beautifully in the workplace, and in social settings.
I recently went to the bookshelf to pull my copy and discovered it was gone. I had loaned it to a friend who was having serious communication problems with a teen-age son. Time to buy a new copy for my bookshelf. This time I bought two copies because I know from experience it won't be long before I'll be "loaning" a copy to a friend to help them with a difficult child or a difficult co-worker. As everyone who loves books knows, a loaned book is a lost book.
This book is not dated and the practical techniques in it are as timely and helpful now as they were 30 years ago. The format of the book with the dialogue, explanation and cartoons helps you find the information you need fast and absorb it in a method that works best for you.
I believe in modeling desired behavior. Being raised in a more authoritarian-styled household, I found myself searching for ways to get children to listen without becoming a spanker, a yeller or a nag, because I think all of those things model negative behavior. But on the flip side, I can't have kids who grab toys or who run in the parking lot or say "no" and run away when it's time to leave.
I'd read Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason and liked the general philosophy, but needed actual tactics for real-life scenarios and that's what I found from this book! Simple, concise examples for how to present things objectively and help children learn to assess and make GOOD decisions! Great examples of how to correct without becoming critical or nagging!
I constantly receive comments on my children's polite behavior when they interact with other people and other children. They are not perfect, but we continue to work/practice to treat others kindly and respectfully. In my experience, this type of approach yields individuals who are empathetic and compassionate and who are internally-motivated to treat others well instead of doing it because they fear punishment. I think the best way to teach others about respect is by demonstrating respect FOR them, especially in the parent-child relationship where one individual has so much authority over the other. If you agree with that philosophy, then this book has tools that you will use again and again.