Top positive review
349 people found this helpful
This book works - it's not a rehash of a million lame magazine article tips
on September 29, 2015
This book works. It's hard to believe but if you read each chapter and do the exercises (for practice) and then try it out on your kids (or in my case, my kindergarten aged niece) -- it actually works! Here's an example: my niece was having a WWIII type of tantrum one day because her candy cane had broken in half. (It was Christmas time.) Her parents, older sister, grandma, everyone was telling her that it was no big deal, she can have another candy cane, it will still taste just the same, etc., anything to get her to see reason and calm down. It only made her fit worse. Things escalated. Her mother started shouting threats to send her to her room. Then - I tried something that I had read in the book: Let the child have the feelings she's feeling and let her know that she's having those feelings. So, I went over to her and said -- just like one of the book's exercises: "It's terrible. Your candy cane broke, and now it's not a perfect candy cane anymore. Even though it will taste the same, it's not a candy CANE anymore. I can see how upsetting it is, because it's not the perfect candy cane that it used to be."
And boom - she completely calmed down. She sat next to me without saying anything, but I could tell, she was finally feeling what she was feeling -- rather than being upset and fighting to claim her right to feel what she was feeling, if that makes sense. And that was that. She stopped being upset and ate her broken candy cane.
There are so many other examples like this -- the 'one word' tip, the 'describe it/don't tell them what to do' tip, the 'write a wish list together' tip... I could go on. They really work!