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How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Is the Antichrist: (and if he is, should you break up with him?) Hardcover – February 1, 2007
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“A funny, sometimes offensive look at modern dating from a female perspective.”—McClatchy-Tribune
“A very funny book for funny single ladies.”—News of Delaware County
“This witty and irreverent guide may just save you from becoming permanently entangled with Mr. Wrong.”—Main Line Today
About the Author
Patricia Carlin is a writer who lives in Ardmore, Pennsylvania.
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Top Customer Reviews
Then she was like "Dude, you really need to read it."
So I did.
Not only was he the anti-christ, he was a total douche bag. At first I figured he was just a vampire, you know, because he never ate food around me and we had tons of sex, and only saw each other at night. I figured he was just really busy with "work" as a school teacher, but then I noticed that he wore True Religion jeans (something school teachers cannot afford) and visibly recoiled when I wore my favorite cross necklace. I was okay with dating a vampire, I mean it's the new thing to do, right? He also owns two vehicles, and 4 houses. Only vampires would pose as 28 year-old men and own multiple properties. Vampires are always willing to enter the real estate world whole-heartedly because when their tenants don't pay up, they eat them, especially here in the south, where undocumented workers turn up missing but not a lot of effort goes into actually finding them?
Anyway, it explains a lot of why, after we had sex, he would be unreachable for up to four days! Then he would contact me and seduce me, like a vampire, back into my bedroom, and I would wake up alone and tired (he might have bitten me and then healed me as to not leave scars).
He posed as an Athiest (typical vampire move) and had pasty white skin, and also claimed that he had lost count of how many sexual partners he's had (which is easy to do when you are hundreds of years old).
This book really helped me to realize that my anti-christ friend with benefits would never be more than just that, which was really depressing at first, but I got through it. This book is a lifesaver. I even told him that we couldn't be together because I am human and he is, well, a vampire anti-christ. He just called me crazy and told me to never speak to him again, which is understandable, because breaking up is hard for everyone!
1. Does he skip saying "God bless you" when you sneeze?
2. Does he not care about WWJD (What would Jesus do)?
3. Does he forego recycling?
4. Is he self-conscious about his cloven hooves?
How do you tell whether he is a robot, a Trekkie, a twin, or a woman?
These, and many other "red flag" labels for potential boyfriends are cleverly discussed by Patricia Carlin in this neat, small, and R-rated book. She continues with strategies to consider if you, indeed, find out that "Roger" is a Scientologist, a serial killer, or a polygamist! Witty, witty. This would be a great book to pull out at a party with friends. Take turns reading each page. In fact (and you heard it first here), I suspect this would make a great party guessing game, so move over Trivial Pursuit!
Do you get lost in his large, soulful eyes? Could be an extraterrestrial. Does he cut up your In Style magazine to compose manifestos? A serial killer (and this is one case in which it is perfectly fine to break up over the phone). Does he do bedroom talk in Klingon? Eh, dating a Trekkie is fairly harmless. Offer to trade cigarettes for sex? He may be an ex-convict. Buy lime in bulk at the garden center? A hitman.
How to Tell if Your Boyfriend is the Antichrist is a joke book that mocks mainstream love guides and exploits silly stereotypes for a chuckle. It is complete with black and white illustrations and an index by trait for quick diagnosis of problem boyfriends.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
It's very tongue and cheek.