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How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill Paperback – September 4, 2011

4.4 out of 5 stars 85 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Knock Knock is an independent maker of clever gifts and books. Our crackerjack in-house team creates humorous nonfiction and specialty journals from the ground up. We also publish new titles from outside authors, bloggers, and other creative types.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 144 pages
  • Publisher: Knock Knock; 2nd Edition edition (September 4, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1601063091
  • ISBN-13: 978-1601063090
  • Product Dimensions: 0.5 x 4.5 x 6.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Shipping Advisory: This item must be shipped separately from other items in your order. Additional shipping charges will not apply.
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (85 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #16,676 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Delite Rancher VINE VOICE on October 22, 2012
Format: Paperback
Question: why would somebody read a parenting guide that advocates traumatizing children? Answer: because it's really funny! This book describes seven parenting styles that promise to psychologically damage any young person enough to require decades of adult therapy. The schools of parenting include the controller, the pusher, the narcissist, the indulger, the best friend, the self-esteem killer and neglector. The average reader comes to this book with a vague familiarity of these parenting styles. "How to Traumatize Your Children" gives each of these styles a colorful name and explores the roots and childhood consequences. The hope is to discover and develop a natural parenting style. As the authors write, "When it comes to trauma, there's no wrong way- there's only poor execution" (p. 17). After the introduction, each chapter features a parenting style with consistent organizational elements. One such element is the developmental stages section; it offers examples of how a given style works when a young person is in utero, an infant, baby, toddler, child, adolescent, teen, young adult and adult. For the neglectful parent, the in utero stage is described as follows, "Don't bother changing your diet or smoking, drinking, and drug habits just because you're pregnant. For fathers, pregnancy is an ideal time to leave without a forwarding address" (p. 135). The authors even explain the compatibility of various dysfunctional parenting styles. "How to Traumatize Your Children" is peppered with 'tidings of trauma' sections which feature germane quotes by various thinkers and celebrities. One of the highlights is by Clarence Darrow who wrote, "The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.Read more ›
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A pastor was preaching to his flock about sin and the Devil's way. "Illegal drugs will steal your mind and your soul!" he proclaimed. A woman in the back yelled, "Preach it, brother!" "Drink will lead you to perdition!" the pastor thundered. "That's right, pastor!" came the response from the back. "You must not covet your neighbor's wife or go fooling around outside marriage!" he continued. "Keep going, brother," she replied. "Gambling is the Devil's pastime!" he roared. "Now wait a minute, brother," shouted the woman, jumping to her feet, "you just stopped preaching and started meddling!"

This book is spot-on hilarious when it is preaching. Yeah, we all know people who do *that*, don't we? Glad *I'm* not one of them. I'm not that kind of a parent, we smugly think.

But then, this book has an annoying tendency to fall into meddling. And then it gets a little uncomfortable and we might shift a bit in our seats. "Well, yeah, but...," we mumbled awkwardly.

This book is pretty clearly intended to be a humorous, tongue-in-cheek poke at the perils of modern parenting. Since it's virtually impossible to be the "perfect" parent and avoid "traumatizing" your child, you may as well do so consciously and with skill. The book offers some general guidelines common to all traumatizing parenting methods and then proceeds to list "7 proven methods" to traumatize your child in specific ways to be selected or mixed and matched to go with your personal style. You can chose to be a Controller, a Pusher, a Narcissist, an Indulger, a Best Friend, a Self-Esteem Killer or a Neglector. For better results, you can combine two or more approaches.
Read more ›
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By Daely on March 13, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I don't even have kids yet, but this book has prepared me to traumatize them correctly and deliberately, with skill.
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Format: Paperback
Looks like it's working; will report back in 18 years.
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Wonderful book for parents and grandparents. Must be fluent in sarcasm to understand what point is trying to be made.
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Absolutely hilarious book for new families. I would recommend it as a gift to any new family.
I need to write three more words in order to post a positive comment.
You notice that I am no longer writing anything useful since I want people to buy the book, because its really well written and I had the great experience giving it to someone, but Amazon still wants me to write more words. Why ?I dunno? I say its a great book and they want more words than that before I can post. Its like leaving a tip for a meal then having the wait staff hold you at gun point to explain why you left a tip....
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Maybe some parents should read this with some seriousness.. Almost every type of terrible parent in here. Beware! You might be one. ;) Full of laughs! Good present for new or "experienced" parents.
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By AFB on July 30, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is genius in addressing parenting issues in a sarcastic manner. Some people may not see the humor in it but it was a great read and made a great gift.
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