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How to Win Friends & Influence People Mass Market Paperback – February 15, 1990

by
Dale Carnegie (Author)
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Dale Carnegie (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars 5,135 customer reviews
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Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Pocket Books (February 15, 1990)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0671723650
  • ISBN-13: 978-0671723651
  • Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 0.8 x 6.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5,135 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #89,457 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 starsRead but with caution
By Abdullah Z Jefri on August 17, 2002
Format: Audio Cassette
When I was 12 years old my best friend gave me a copy of this book and told me that I might find it interesting. He could not have been more right, for I delved deep into the book and I finished it in a matter of 2 weeks (to me it was a record to finish a book so quickly at that age!) I found the book to be very informative and entertaining at the same time. The author, Mr. Dale Carnegie, will not introduce a principle or a notion without supporting it with at least one real life story where the principle introduced was proven effective. After that point I noticed a great, almost immediate, effect on my behavior as I was growing up. I noticed that I have become a very good negotiator with my parents and teachers, more popular at school, and I even began to understand people much better than I used to prior to reading the book. I grew up believing that this book was one of the greatest factors involved in shaping my character.
Recently though, I noticed some growing criticism of the book and its teaching, and I thought that this would be a good time for me to refresh what I learned from the book and assess its quality based on the experience I've gained since the first time I read the book. So I bought the unabridged audiotapes of the book and listened to it whenever I was in the car.
Mr. Carnegie said somewhere in the book that if one thing you learn from the book, which is the ability to understand the different views of other people in different situations, then that would be enough. And I agree wholeheartedly.
My judgment is that this book will indeed teach you how to understand the motives and the different forces playing in the different people you meet.Read more ›
19 Comments 1,030 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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4.0 out of 5 starsTimeless Advice
By GEORGE R. FISHER on June 26, 2004
Format: School & Library Binding
His advice is so obvious and so easy, so how come it's so difficult to do yourself and so rarely found in others? Is it cynicism or manipulation? No, it's human nature: Do Unto Others ...
THE FUNDAMENTALS
? "Speak ill of no man and speak all the good you know of everyone."
People react very badly to criticism; don't do it, not to their face nor behind their back ... especially not behind their back.
? Say "Thank You".
Express appreciation. People yearn, yearn to be appreciated.
? Talk about what people want and help them get it.
"Arouse in others an eager want."
Corollary: let others take credit for your ideas; they'll like your ideas a lot more if they believe them to be their own.
WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
? Be happy to see people.
Greet everyone you meet and show an interest in them. Remember the things that are important to them.
? Smile!
? Remembers peoples' names!!
Remember it, use it when talking to them. A person's name sounds beautiful to them.
? Draw people out.
Encourage them to talk about themselves and their interests.
? Actively research the other person's interests.
? Every person you meet feels themselves superior to you in some way.
Strain to find out what that is and recognize their importance. Talk to people about themselves and they will listen to you for hours.
WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING
? Don't argue!
Give in! Agree that the other person is right; often they are and if they aren't, you'll never convince them of it by arguing.
? Don't ever tell a person they're wrong.
They may be but telling them so is always counterproductive.Read more ›
28 Comments 1,283 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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2.0 out of 5 starsHow To Win High-Maintenance Acquaintances Who Bring You No Pleasure & Be a Milksop
By Talia on March 7, 2014
Format: Paperback
EDIT: March 24, 2014.

I've been giving a lot of thought as to why this book didn't work for me, and I think I've figured it out.

There is an old saying -- walk softly, but carry a big stick. I've heard it said often, but was never really clear on what it meant. I have it now. The thing is, your niceness is only valuable if there's a threat you might cut it off at any moment. The "big stick" is there to say 'I'm inoffensive now, but I might attack if needed.' Carnegie does not teach that -- he tells you to be nice, and be nice, and keep being nice, and somehow everyone will reciprocate. But this does not really happen, at least in anything but the most superficial relationships. You know how they say "chicks don't like nice guys?" It's that phenomenon at work.

If you read the book, you'll notice that most of his example success stories are about people who are already in authority trying to get better behavior out of underlings -- like the construction manager whose workers wouldn't wear their hardhats, or the story of Charles Schwab fixing his employees who ignored the No Smoking sign at work. Of course it makes them happy and agreeable if THE BOSS is being nice to them! But if you're just a nobody who hasn't any power over their lives, who cares? They've got more important things than to go out of their way for you in turn. You can give give give, but if they don't perceive your kindness as valuable, it doesn't matter.

I also highly recommend the review at http://www.amazon.com/review/R1DZ5UBO2SG8LB/ as this person had a very similar experience to mine as far as the kind of "friends" you win by trying this.Read more ›
38 Comments 415 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

3.0 out of 5 starsOK

I need to try to remember this stuff

Published 8 hours ago by R Gibbons
3.0 out of 5 starsThree Stars

More a sales pitch than about friends

Published 10 hours ago by ElizabethH
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Great book!

Published 16 hours ago by Hoolia
5.0 out of 5 starsInvaluable

I read the book over 30 years ago. It helped but over time one tends to forget the invaluable lessons from it. Read more

Published 1 day ago by Vazifdar
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Classic!

Published 1 day ago by Charlie Snider
5.0 out of 5 starsBought this for my daughter. She was enthusiastic about ...

Bought this for my daughter. She was enthusiastic about reading it, the cover is attractive and girl friendly. She finished it in one day. That's all I know.

Published 1 day ago by George E
5.0 out of 5 starsSuch a great book. Not only will it help you in ...

Such a great book. Not only will it help you in your work life but your personal life as well. Highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to succeed in life. Read more

Published 1 day ago by Jonathan Raga
5.0 out of 5 starsSimple and effective

Simple and effective. Great read

Published 1 day ago by Erik Gradine
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

This is a grest book.

Published 3 days ago by Wendy
5.0 out of 5 starsPositive book

A great book for anyone looking to stay positive and approach the day with a happy perspective. Useful for business, friendships, and relationships alike.

Published 3 days ago by Amazon Customer

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