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Showing 1-10 of 4,567 reviews(Verified Purchases). See all 5,714 reviews
on May 5, 2015
My Dad gave me a copy of this when I graduated highschool in the 90s but I wasn't "ready" for it yet, I don't even think I read it to be honest. Now I'm 37 and realizing that I've put my personal growth on the back burner for entirely too long. I had pretty much given up on making new adult friends. I had actually self-diagnosed myself with Asperger's because I was having such a difficult time trying to figure out why people (including myself) do the things that do. The realization that my marriage was being effected by my nearly empty toolbox of social skills promoted me to take personal responsibility and shoulder the blame myself for once instead of blaming everyone around me for everything. I grew up with a hypercritical Mother so I think I had promised myself that I would never be criticized again, even if that meant writing people off the instant I felt like I had made myself vulnerable enough to be hurt by them.

I couldn't find the copy that my dad gave me so I ordered a new one and chapter 1 alone is changing the way I look at EVERYTHING. I've been plagued with mild depression/anxiety for 20 years and I'm realizing that I've developed some unhealthy defense mechanisms to cope with these issues. I never turned to drugs or alcohol, but the fortress-like walls I've constructed to deal with criticism (real or perceived) aren't much better for me. I've re-read and taken notes on the first section of the book several times now and my wife is noticing and she seems quite relieved, i had no idea I could impact another persons life so strongly.

Like I said, I am only getting started with the book and it has already helped me enough to warrant a 5-star rating. This book has stood the test of time for a reason and I can see why now. The strategies are applicable to and helpful in all aspects of my life so far, from my marriage to my job, and even to the way I interact with clerks in gas stations. I've read numerous self help books in the past, seen a therapist for 3 years, been through the gauntlet of antidepressants, etc, and until now I thought I was wasting my time. I've been learning things all along, but I never learned how to actually apply the things I had learned until now. This book speaks my language and if your background sounds even remotely similar I have a feeling that you'll agree.
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on November 12, 2016
In my honest opinion, several principles in this book are repeated around the book. I don't see it as a disadvantage, because repetition is the key to learning. I did think several of the principles explained in the book are common sense, but I found that it could be easy for a person to react quickly to conflicts. This book has taught me the importance of staying in control and how beneficial it is to be in control of our behaviors and act in a way of service to others. The examples described in the book made it simpler to understand the concepts that Dale is teaching. I recommend this book if you would like to improve your skills with people. This book is especially beneficial for those who are working on their businesses and close relationships.

This book is divided into four parts. The first half of the book discusses techniques in handling people and how to have people like you. The final half of the book gives instructions about how to win people to our own thinking and how to be a leader by changing people without offending them or causing resentment.

In the first part of the book, it is divided into three principles. The first principle emphasizes the importance of avoiding criticism and he describes working with people as: working with people of logic. He further describes complaining and criticizing as a foolish task to do and how it takes a person of character to understand, forgive, and have self-control. Principle # 2 describes the importance of honest and sincere appreciation. Within this principle he describes the importance of ending our own thinking of accomplishments and desires. Instead, we must put our focus on the other person's good qualities. If being sincere, this will cause people to cherish them in their minds, even years later. The third principle involves influencing the other person to want, but not in a way that is manipulative. With this principle, he describes the importance of self-expression and connects it to the importance of thinking in terms of the other person, so that they come up with your ideas on their own, which they will like more.

Within the second part of the book, it teaches six principles. The first describes how critical it is to become interested in other people because you will make more friends compared to having others interested in you. When he moves onto the second principle, he explains the importance to smile in a heartwarming way because it will brighten the lives of those who see it. Dale then describes the importance to recall a person's name in the third principle. He gives tips on how to remember and then explains how people enjoy the sound of their own name. The fourth principle is about being a good listener and encouraging those to talk about themselves. He then goes onto to explain again that people are more interested in talking about themselves instead of others. He further explains this point in principle five: Talk in terms of the other person's interests. The final step is to sincerely make the other person feel important because this is the "deepest urge in human nature."

Dale describes in the third part of the book the steps to have a person think in terms of your own thoughts. He then explains that it is better to avoid arguments and to show respect for other people's opinions and never tell them they are wrong. because it will further push them away. If there is fault in your own behavior, Dale explains to immediately admit you're wrong without any doubts. If you are upset, he explains to sit down and counsel together, and if there are differences, understand it. Even in some differences, there will be points of agreement. He then explains the importance of agreement and having the person say "yes," at least twice. You doing this by looking into the other person's viewpoint and asking questions that cause them to agree. It is essential to have friends do the talking and have them excel us, instead of excelling them. When this occurs, they will feel important. To further the notion of feeling important, it is important to have the individual create their own ideas. He deepens this idea by asking questions such as, "Why should he or she want to do it?" and then being sympathetic towards their ideas. In order to catch a person's attention, you must dramatise the ideas you have. If all else fails, he explains the importance of competition and how it drives people to feel important and empowered to work efficiently and effectively.

In the final part of the book, Dale again discusses the importance of beginning with praise and honest appreciation. When someone makes a mistake, call to their mistakes indirectly. This can be done my making their mistakes your own and explaining the importance of fixing it and why it gave you a disadvantage. He then explains the importance of asking questions that direct the person you’re speaking to, to obtain your idea on their own. He emphasizes the importance of having the person be saved from embarrassment, and then explains the importance of praise again, even if it is small. Dale then gives examples of giving a person a reputation that makes them better, in order to have the person be motivated to improve. After giving someone a reputation to live up to, encourage the person to correct their faults and make them happy to do the actions you suggest.
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on May 5, 2016
It's an excellent book written on this subject. In fact, I've been reading this book for more than 20 years and applying it to my daily life my, business life etc, you name it. The result is incredible! Yes, to be able to learn something you have to apply it (do it, develop strategies and habits) in your daily life otherwise, you loose it in a very short time. Why I bought another one? Because, the one that I've been reading and applying for years was so old that I wanted to renew it. Because, I will be still reading and using it as a guide in my future life. I will go through it at least two three times in a year.
I believe that this book is the bestseller on it's subject for years and years. But, do not expect that your life will change immediately when you read it. Because, you are the one who will change your life. Because, you will realize that you have enormous improvement opportunities in your relationships but,you have to take actions by yourself immediately. If you really want/need a change why don't you start with yourself.

I definitely recommend this book to everybody.
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on February 26, 2017
I give the book 5 stars!! The 3 stars are for the eBook Edition that I bought. It has way too many typos, grammatical errors and omissions. I cannot complain much since I did buy the edition for $1.69. If you are planning on buying this book for the first time, go ahead and splurge with a little extra bucks. Dale Carnegie's wisdom and anecdotes are not to be missed or misinterpreted with typos and/or missing sentences. I have owned the book before, but needed the eBook to read along while commuting. I highly recommend the book.
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on May 24, 2015
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" is definitely good for the business aspect of your life. It shows you many examples of how to deal with people professionally (especially as a leader) and it also throws some family interactions in the mix.
The one thing I would say to anyone that reads this is to make sure to remain attentive to a couple of things mentioned throughout the text. Dale Carnegie mentions in the book that when following these principles it will only work if it is genuine and from the heart. These principles when followed otherwise will not be taken in a positive light.
Also this book teaches you the art of thinking outside of yourself and in the other person's point of view. This is something that I'm sure will benefit me in the long run and it is something that I plan to use to have better interactions with my friends and family. I will definitely look to seek more information about them and their interests as opposed to shoving my interests down their throat and because this book genuinely influenced me to make changes in my life I will gladly give this a 5 star rating.
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on May 3, 2016
I've read this book twice. I certainly appreciated it more the first time. At times it reads like Dale is asking you to lie to people or fake being interested in them. I think though he's saying fake it till you mean it. For example, if you say you wish well of someone, actually try to mean it. And if you try hard enough you'll actually become the kind of person who does mean it. In other words, constantly try to be a better person and you eventually will become a better person...and here are all the tips and tricks you can follow to try being a better person.
The title of the book sounds a little selfish but if you practice these techniques correctly you'll benefit others and yourself.
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on June 10, 2016
This is BY FAR the best book I have ever read. The author has tips in the beginning of the book to help you, one of which is reading through it with a highlighter so you can go through it later and remember things better. I couldn't stress this more. You only remember 10% of what you read (look it up.. cone of learning) so chances are, you won't remember all of it, but being able to flip back through it and skim through the highlighted parts will help enormously.

As for the book, this changed my outlook on life and relationships in ways I never thought would happen. I have always been a blatantly honest person and have prided myself on that. I believe honesty is a trait too many people are lacking in this world. But from reading this book, I was able to see things from a different perspective. For example, "Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself". As obvious and simple as that is, it's something I did not think much about. Being honest about something, such as telling someone those jeans don't look very good on them, causes them to want to justify their decision to buy/wear those jeans. The author helps you find other ways to approach situations so that you are better able to get people to understand your side of things (or change their mind, or do what you want - depending on the chapter), rather than closing their mind to anything you might have to say. He reminds us that when we are dealing with people, "we are not dealing with creatures of logic, we are dealing with creatures of emotion". It is things like that, that make this book so powerful. He goes into vast detail with examples of each and every fundamental, helping you to understand exactly what he means by each one and how you can try to change it. Using the techniques from his book are hard and will feel unnatural at first, and he even says that, but it opens your mind to things you will wish you had realized years ago.
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on October 8, 2016
This book is so impressive, better people than I have reviewed this for years. It's just a great reminder to be the kind of person you want other people to be to you. It is a great book about how to treat people and in turn it will benefit you. What makes it so interesting is all the short stories and examples he uses to get his points across about people from all walks of life. It's a guideline of caring about others, being interested in others and focusing your life on how other people feel, in turn you will be rewarded by the way people treat you.

I personally think everyone that supervises anyone should be required to read this, the only problem is..... it's hard to carry out, it requires practice and self contemplation and then more practice and more self contemplation.
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on November 20, 2014
One of Carnegie's messages:

You aren't going to change other people's interests and opinions. So don't try. Instead, spend your time figuring out how you can work together so they get what they want AND you get what you want.

Another of Carnegie's messages:

If you show interest (real or not) in a person's hobbies, they are more likely to buy things from you.

I agree with the first message but not the second.

Most of the messages in the book are similar to the first message. The book is a cornucopia of ideas and stories about working with other people. It's oriented towards selling, but most of the advice does generalize to other professional, and even personal, relationships.

Also, Carnegie really puts it out there, in a nice way. Even when I disagree with him, I can simply say "sorry, Dale, I disagree on that idea", and keep on reading.
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on December 16, 2015
Although this book has one of the sillier names that I care to admit to people, this book is amazing. As you read through it, you'll begin to ask yourself, "why have I not been doing this all along?" Carnegie's book is more than relevant even today. Obviously a man who took the time to understand people and human interaction, this book will really make you second guess yourself when it comes to addressing situations. More often than not, I find myself doing what he says in his books but that doesn't mean I can't learn more from it. I've talked with several people who have also read this book and they can't help but agree that this book should either be a requirement for all high schoolers or have its own class.

I would recommend this book to anybody and everybody.
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