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Showing 1-10 of 4,860 reviews(Verified Purchases). See all 6,037 reviews
on May 5, 2015
My Dad gave me a copy of this when I graduated highschool in the 90s but I wasn't "ready" for it yet, I don't even think I read it to be honest. Now I'm 37 and realizing that I've put my personal growth on the back burner for entirely too long. I had pretty much given up on making new adult friends. I had actually self-diagnosed myself with Asperger's because I was having such a difficult time trying to figure out why people (including myself) do the things that do. The realization that my marriage was being effected by my nearly empty toolbox of social skills promoted me to take personal responsibility and shoulder the blame myself for once instead of blaming everyone around me for everything. I grew up with a hypercritical Mother so I think I had promised myself that I would never be criticized again, even if that meant writing people off the instant I felt like I had made myself vulnerable enough to be hurt by them.

I couldn't find the copy that my dad gave me so I ordered a new one and chapter 1 alone is changing the way I look at EVERYTHING. I've been plagued with mild depression/anxiety for 20 years and I'm realizing that I've developed some unhealthy defense mechanisms to cope with these issues. I never turned to drugs or alcohol, but the fortress-like walls I've constructed to deal with criticism (real or perceived) aren't much better for me. I've re-read and taken notes on the first section of the book several times now and my wife is noticing and she seems quite relieved, i had no idea I could impact another persons life so strongly.

Like I said, I am only getting started with the book and it has already helped me enough to warrant a 5-star rating. This book has stood the test of time for a reason and I can see why now. The strategies are applicable to and helpful in all aspects of my life so far, from my marriage to my job, and even to the way I interact with clerks in gas stations. I've read numerous self help books in the past, seen a therapist for 3 years, been through the gauntlet of antidepressants, etc, and until now I thought I was wasting my time. I've been learning things all along, but I never learned how to actually apply the things I had learned until now. This book speaks my language and if your background sounds even remotely similar I have a feeling that you'll agree.
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on November 12, 2016
In my honest opinion, several principles in this book are repeated around the book. I don't see it as a disadvantage, because repetition is the key to learning. I did think several of the principles explained in the book are common sense, but I found that it could be easy for a person to react quickly to conflicts. This book has taught me the importance of staying in control and how beneficial it is to be in control of our behaviors and act in a way of service to others. The examples described in the book made it simpler to understand the concepts that Dale is teaching. I recommend this book if you would like to improve your skills with people. This book is especially beneficial for those who are working on their businesses and close relationships.

This book is divided into four parts. The first half of the book discusses techniques in handling people and how to have people like you. The final half of the book gives instructions about how to win people to our own thinking and how to be a leader by changing people without offending them or causing resentment.

In the first part of the book, it is divided into three principles. The first principle emphasizes the importance of avoiding criticism and he describes working with people as: working with people of logic. He further describes complaining and criticizing as a foolish task to do and how it takes a person of character to understand, forgive, and have self-control. Principle # 2 describes the importance of honest and sincere appreciation. Within this principle he describes the importance of ending our own thinking of accomplishments and desires. Instead, we must put our focus on the other person's good qualities. If being sincere, this will cause people to cherish them in their minds, even years later. The third principle involves influencing the other person to want, but not in a way that is manipulative. With this principle, he describes the importance of self-expression and connects it to the importance of thinking in terms of the other person, so that they come up with your ideas on their own, which they will like more.

Within the second part of the book, it teaches six principles. The first describes how critical it is to become interested in other people because you will make more friends compared to having others interested in you. When he moves onto the second principle, he explains the importance to smile in a heartwarming way because it will brighten the lives of those who see it. Dale then describes the importance to recall a person's name in the third principle. He gives tips on how to remember and then explains how people enjoy the sound of their own name. The fourth principle is about being a good listener and encouraging those to talk about themselves. He then goes onto to explain again that people are more interested in talking about themselves instead of others. He further explains this point in principle five: Talk in terms of the other person's interests. The final step is to sincerely make the other person feel important because this is the "deepest urge in human nature."

Dale describes in the third part of the book the steps to have a person think in terms of your own thoughts. He then explains that it is better to avoid arguments and to show respect for other people's opinions and never tell them they are wrong. because it will further push them away. If there is fault in your own behavior, Dale explains to immediately admit you're wrong without any doubts. If you are upset, he explains to sit down and counsel together, and if there are differences, understand it. Even in some differences, there will be points of agreement. He then explains the importance of agreement and having the person say "yes," at least twice. You doing this by looking into the other person's viewpoint and asking questions that cause them to agree. It is essential to have friends do the talking and have them excel us, instead of excelling them. When this occurs, they will feel important. To further the notion of feeling important, it is important to have the individual create their own ideas. He deepens this idea by asking questions such as, "Why should he or she want to do it?" and then being sympathetic towards their ideas. In order to catch a person's attention, you must dramatise the ideas you have. If all else fails, he explains the importance of competition and how it drives people to feel important and empowered to work efficiently and effectively.

In the final part of the book, Dale again discusses the importance of beginning with praise and honest appreciation. When someone makes a mistake, call to their mistakes indirectly. This can be done my making their mistakes your own and explaining the importance of fixing it and why it gave you a disadvantage. He then explains the importance of asking questions that direct the person you’re speaking to, to obtain your idea on their own. He emphasizes the importance of having the person be saved from embarrassment, and then explains the importance of praise again, even if it is small. Dale then gives examples of giving a person a reputation that makes them better, in order to have the person be motivated to improve. After giving someone a reputation to live up to, encourage the person to correct their faults and make them happy to do the actions you suggest.
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on April 6, 2015
The book discusses many real life experiences from people at different positions and levels. It is a good read and is recommended for those who would like to improve their social skills. However, the book sometimes seems to be a bit far from our real day-to-day life. As a short example, it encourages you to admit your mistakes, or to tell the other person that you might be wrong. It fundamentally is a good skill and practical approach; however, the author should also discuss how and when to change your approach in cases where someone abuses this humble personality and good attitude.
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on September 12, 2015
Well, people say it's a bible and everyone should read it. So I actually bought it because I wanted to get it!

I must say I did not get disappointed. The pieces of advice are extremely useful for anything in life and the lessons are well taught through a series of great examples. It really is the kind of book you remember its content your whole life. It made me rethink many ways oh how I interact with people and turned my experiences and relationships much richer.

However the examples and stories from Dale Carnegie are all 60-80 years old and always take place in the USA.
They are interesting but totally impossible to relate to. It's entertaining because they teach me some aspects of old America but I would have liked some examples from nowadays.

Overall it's a good book, the messages are universal for sure and I've been able to implement many changes that improved my life and level of happiness​ in general.
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on February 29, 2016
I read that this book is a must-read for anyone wanting to start their own business. It may read as old-fashioned, but it contains very practical advice on how to deal with different types of people. The suggestions are very helpful for anyone who has their own business or wants to learn how to handle difficult situations with various types of personalities.
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on June 14, 2016
Books like this are important to read (and read again). However, applying the principles are sometimes harder to execute, especially in more stressful situations. What is described in this book are not revolutionary techniques, hence the removal of one star. Perhaps they were when the book came out in the 30s. Essentially, treat people with respect and be a humble person. Again, understanding those principles and following them at all times can be two different things. One more star is removed because the book, at times, read like "The Rest of the Story" segments that Paul Harvey used to do on the radio. That style of storytelling does not inspire me.
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on February 13, 2017
I absolutely love this book. I started reading it and can not get over how great it is. It talks about everything that is relevant in dealing with people. It doesn't tell you to do anything crazy and it's a little funny how he describes what we do in our daily lives because we are so bad with how we handle people in our lives. If you're looking for a great book. Here it is.
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on March 15, 2016
I read through this book in about four days, because it was not just informative but exciting as well. Written decades ago, this book still is able to teach practical lessons for everyday use. In no way is it a miracle book that promises success when following the tactics within, even though at times it felt like that while reading. Carnegie states numerous times that although we won't face success each time using these methods, we will most likely see a vast improvement in our relations with other people and what results in those experiences. Give this book a try, and you probably won't be disappointed.
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on April 3, 2014
I read this book after reading "The Seven Levels of Communication." After going through a couple of other self-help books and strategies, many, if not most, reference "How to Win Friends and Influence People." It's entertaining and refreshes many of the basic premises of interaction that we learn in grade school but seem to have forgotten as we grow older. I'm still a little conflicted about how the book is designed. The author lays out principles, and for each principle, provides anecdotal evidence of why applying that principle is advantageous. It mirrors the way President Obama makes speeches - referencing anecdotal examples from all across the country. As electronic mediums galvanize their position in how we communicate today, this book is a solid read that pushes you to never lose sight of the notion that, above all, we interact with other humans, and should bear certain principles in mind.
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on April 21, 2017
Great book. I love all he historical examples the author gives you that deal with different situations and how we should handle those situations. Very well written. I wrote down a list of quotes that really stood out to me and teach me how to deal with people a lot better and improve my own communication and listing skills. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to improve their communication and other skill when we deal with people every single minute of the day at work or at home.
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