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on May 5, 2015
My Dad gave me a copy of this when I graduated highschool in the 90s but I wasn't "ready" for it yet, I don't even think I read it to be honest. Now I'm 37 and realizing that I've put my personal growth on the back burner for entirely too long. I had pretty much given up on making new adult friends. I had actually self-diagnosed myself with Asperger's because I was having such a difficult time trying to figure out why people (including myself) do the things that do. The realization that my marriage was being effected by my nearly empty toolbox of social skills promoted me to take personal responsibility and shoulder the blame myself for once instead of blaming everyone around me for everything. I grew up with a hypercritical Mother so I think I had promised myself that I would never be criticized again, even if that meant writing people off the instant I felt like I had made myself vulnerable enough to be hurt by them.

I couldn't find the copy that my dad gave me so I ordered a new one and chapter 1 alone is changing the way I look at EVERYTHING. I've been plagued with mild depression/anxiety for 20 years and I'm realizing that I've developed some unhealthy defense mechanisms to cope with these issues. I never turned to drugs or alcohol, but the fortress-like walls I've constructed to deal with criticism (real or perceived) aren't much better for me. I've re-read and taken notes on the first section of the book several times now and my wife is noticing and she seems quite relieved, i had no idea I could impact another persons life so strongly.

Like I said, I am only getting started with the book and it has already helped me enough to warrant a 5-star rating. This book has stood the test of time for a reason and I can see why now. The strategies are applicable to and helpful in all aspects of my life so far, from my marriage to my job, and even to the way I interact with clerks in gas stations. I've read numerous self help books in the past, seen a therapist for 3 years, been through the gauntlet of antidepressants, etc, and until now I thought I was wasting my time. I've been learning things all along, but I never learned how to actually apply the things I had learned until now. This book speaks my language and if your background sounds even remotely similar I have a feeling that you'll agree.
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on November 12, 2016
In my honest opinion, several principles in this book are repeated around the book. I don't see it as a disadvantage, because repetition is the key to learning. I did think several of the principles explained in the book are common sense, but I found that it could be easy for a person to react quickly to conflicts. This book has taught me the importance of staying in control and how beneficial it is to be in control of our behaviors and act in a way of service to others. The examples described in the book made it simpler to understand the concepts that Dale is teaching. I recommend this book if you would like to improve your skills with people. This book is especially beneficial for those who are working on their businesses and close relationships.

This book is divided into four parts. The first half of the book discusses techniques in handling people and how to have people like you. The final half of the book gives instructions about how to win people to our own thinking and how to be a leader by changing people without offending them or causing resentment.

In the first part of the book, it is divided into three principles. The first principle emphasizes the importance of avoiding criticism and he describes working with people as: working with people of logic. He further describes complaining and criticizing as a foolish task to do and how it takes a person of character to understand, forgive, and have self-control. Principle # 2 describes the importance of honest and sincere appreciation. Within this principle he describes the importance of ending our own thinking of accomplishments and desires. Instead, we must put our focus on the other person's good qualities. If being sincere, this will cause people to cherish them in their minds, even years later. The third principle involves influencing the other person to want, but not in a way that is manipulative. With this principle, he describes the importance of self-expression and connects it to the importance of thinking in terms of the other person, so that they come up with your ideas on their own, which they will like more.

Within the second part of the book, it teaches six principles. The first describes how critical it is to become interested in other people because you will make more friends compared to having others interested in you. When he moves onto the second principle, he explains the importance to smile in a heartwarming way because it will brighten the lives of those who see it. Dale then describes the importance to recall a person's name in the third principle. He gives tips on how to remember and then explains how people enjoy the sound of their own name. The fourth principle is about being a good listener and encouraging those to talk about themselves. He then goes onto to explain again that people are more interested in talking about themselves instead of others. He further explains this point in principle five: Talk in terms of the other person's interests. The final step is to sincerely make the other person feel important because this is the "deepest urge in human nature."

Dale describes in the third part of the book the steps to have a person think in terms of your own thoughts. He then explains that it is better to avoid arguments and to show respect for other people's opinions and never tell them they are wrong. because it will further push them away. If there is fault in your own behavior, Dale explains to immediately admit you're wrong without any doubts. If you are upset, he explains to sit down and counsel together, and if there are differences, understand it. Even in some differences, there will be points of agreement. He then explains the importance of agreement and having the person say "yes," at least twice. You doing this by looking into the other person's viewpoint and asking questions that cause them to agree. It is essential to have friends do the talking and have them excel us, instead of excelling them. When this occurs, they will feel important. To further the notion of feeling important, it is important to have the individual create their own ideas. He deepens this idea by asking questions such as, "Why should he or she want to do it?" and then being sympathetic towards their ideas. In order to catch a person's attention, you must dramatise the ideas you have. If all else fails, he explains the importance of competition and how it drives people to feel important and empowered to work efficiently and effectively.

In the final part of the book, Dale again discusses the importance of beginning with praise and honest appreciation. When someone makes a mistake, call to their mistakes indirectly. This can be done my making their mistakes your own and explaining the importance of fixing it and why it gave you a disadvantage. He then explains the importance of asking questions that direct the person you’re speaking to, to obtain your idea on their own. He emphasizes the importance of having the person be saved from embarrassment, and then explains the importance of praise again, even if it is small. Dale then gives examples of giving a person a reputation that makes them better, in order to have the person be motivated to improve. After giving someone a reputation to live up to, encourage the person to correct their faults and make them happy to do the actions you suggest.
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on December 8, 2016
This is such an ancient book, yet it still is applicable to today's world. Some of the things that really stuck to me are:

1. "You attract more flies with a drop of honey than a gallon of gall."
2. "Be lavish in your praise."

After applying these teachings and some of the other topics he discussed, I can say that I have a much better relationship with those around me.
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on March 22, 2016
I am currently half way through the book. And I must say the principles in the book is really helpful to me in my daily life. Each chapter has a bunch of real life incidents that the author has heard of or experienced. I think it is a perfect way to learn from others' life experiences. The author has clearly descirbed of how things can get better by applying the principles mentioned. At the end of every chapter there is a quick recap of the principles from previous chapters. Great Book. Must buy!
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on December 7, 2015
I was looking for a good all around "people's" book and I came across Dale Carnegie who is a legend in his own right, after reading the book I'm seriously hooked, he has a great way of writing which makes the readying easy and story like which makes it flow, I took away a tremendous amount of positive lessons and I still look back to it all the time
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on February 8, 2017
Wow - this book is an amazing read, and beneficial both personally and professionally. In just two weeks of reading, this has already aided my work and leadership qualities all around. Appropriate for any level of leadership!
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on June 6, 2014
This makes you look at what you're doing in life and wonder how you can do it even better. At least that's what I'm getting out of it. I can see how it is very helpful for business minded people. I also see how it can turn an average person into a multimillionaire. I feel this is a must read for every boss, salesperson, and/or anyone whose looking to become an even better person. This book is rather old, but Carnegie has amazing techniques that can be applied to this day. Its a true gem that does not age. I was sent by the Shaycarl! Wanna talk about inspirational, go watch some of his videos on youtube! I first heard about this book from his vlog on 3/10/09. He's an amazing man and a great father.
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on July 14, 2016
There's a reason this book is so famous--believe the hype! Yes, many things stated in the book are kind of no-brainers, but Carnegie offers many examples and insights that illuminate the importance of his claims. I've learned a lot and try and remember his 'lessons' on a daily basis. It's definitely more than like a 'self-help' type book, it will help with your daily life! I recommend it to everyone and reference it often.
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on November 27, 2007
This book should be required reading for anyone who works with other people. Despite the quaint and slightly humorous title, it provides powerful lessons in management and interpersonal skills, and is the best book on the topic I have ever come across. Some reviewers criticize the book for being "dated", because many of Carnegie's examples come from the early 20th century. I think this is irrelevant for two reasons. First, the author was using examples from the time in which he lived and worked, and second, it really wouldn't have mattered if he used examples from the ancient Roman Forum. Humans are social animals whose basic interactions, wants, and needs have not changed appreciably for thousands of years. Indeed, I believe this book is more valuable today than it was in Carnegie's time. When it was written, face to face interpersonal skills were more highly developed than in our era of home schooling, computers, video games, cubicle jobs, and the increasing isolation (desocialization) of individuals in our society. While many of his lessons may seem like "common sense", this type of common sense is woefully lacking today, even among people in management. Perhaps it seems like common sense because Carnegie's writing style is clear, concise, pragmatic, and to the point. It is devoid of the jargon and psychobabble so common in later books on the subject (Did jargon and psychobabble even exist in 1936?).
For example, Carnegie points out that yelling at and deriding a coworker or employee we are unhappy with (or to use a modern example, sending a nasty E-mail) may make us feel good (I told him/her a thing or two!), but from a strategic point of view is often a disastrous choice. In a business setting, it is much like throwing a hand grenade at someone across a small crowded room. We usually hit our target, but also involve innocent bystanders and cause a lot of damage to ourselves as well. Carnegie offers several alternatives to situations like this, and many examples. Suffice it to say that I personally wish I read this book years ago, and highly recommend it.
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on February 8, 2014
I wondered what was the big deal behind this book. I am glad I bought the original version, not a new one. There seemed to be different versions/editions available, but other reviewers liked this one. I agree. So what if some of the examples are from 70 years ago. bought it and read it in one or two sittings. Fortunately, most of the suggestions are things I already do. It is nice to have the affirmation, and I will continue doing these things. Interestingly, I think he was advising businessmen to treat other people the way women typically treat other people in the workplace....Hmmmm.
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