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Showing 1-10 of 4,998 reviews(Verified Purchases). See all 6,187 reviews
on May 5, 2015
My Dad gave me a copy of this when I graduated highschool in the 90s but I wasn't "ready" for it yet, I don't even think I read it to be honest. Now I'm 37 and realizing that I've put my personal growth on the back burner for entirely too long. I had pretty much given up on making new adult friends. I had actually self-diagnosed myself with Asperger's because I was having such a difficult time trying to figure out why people (including myself) do the things that do. The realization that my marriage was being effected by my nearly empty toolbox of social skills promoted me to take personal responsibility and shoulder the blame myself for once instead of blaming everyone around me for everything. I grew up with a hypercritical Mother so I think I had promised myself that I would never be criticized again, even if that meant writing people off the instant I felt like I had made myself vulnerable enough to be hurt by them.

I couldn't find the copy that my dad gave me so I ordered a new one and chapter 1 alone is changing the way I look at EVERYTHING. I've been plagued with mild depression/anxiety for 20 years and I'm realizing that I've developed some unhealthy defense mechanisms to cope with these issues. I never turned to drugs or alcohol, but the fortress-like walls I've constructed to deal with criticism (real or perceived) aren't much better for me. I've re-read and taken notes on the first section of the book several times now and my wife is noticing and she seems quite relieved, i had no idea I could impact another persons life so strongly.

Like I said, I am only getting started with the book and it has already helped me enough to warrant a 5-star rating. This book has stood the test of time for a reason and I can see why now. The strategies are applicable to and helpful in all aspects of my life so far, from my marriage to my job, and even to the way I interact with clerks in gas stations. I've read numerous self help books in the past, seen a therapist for 3 years, been through the gauntlet of antidepressants, etc, and until now I thought I was wasting my time. I've been learning things all along, but I never learned how to actually apply the things I had learned until now. This book speaks my language and if your background sounds even remotely similar I have a feeling that you'll agree.
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on November 12, 2016
In my honest opinion, several principles in this book are repeated around the book. I don't see it as a disadvantage, because repetition is the key to learning. I did think several of the principles explained in the book are common sense, but I found that it could be easy for a person to react quickly to conflicts. This book has taught me the importance of staying in control and how beneficial it is to be in control of our behaviors and act in a way of service to others. The examples described in the book made it simpler to understand the concepts that Dale is teaching. I recommend this book if you would like to improve your skills with people. This book is especially beneficial for those who are working on their businesses and close relationships.

This book is divided into four parts. The first half of the book discusses techniques in handling people and how to have people like you. The final half of the book gives instructions about how to win people to our own thinking and how to be a leader by changing people without offending them or causing resentment.

In the first part of the book, it is divided into three principles. The first principle emphasizes the importance of avoiding criticism and he describes working with people as: working with people of logic. He further describes complaining and criticizing as a foolish task to do and how it takes a person of character to understand, forgive, and have self-control. Principle # 2 describes the importance of honest and sincere appreciation. Within this principle he describes the importance of ending our own thinking of accomplishments and desires. Instead, we must put our focus on the other person's good qualities. If being sincere, this will cause people to cherish them in their minds, even years later. The third principle involves influencing the other person to want, but not in a way that is manipulative. With this principle, he describes the importance of self-expression and connects it to the importance of thinking in terms of the other person, so that they come up with your ideas on their own, which they will like more.

Within the second part of the book, it teaches six principles. The first describes how critical it is to become interested in other people because you will make more friends compared to having others interested in you. When he moves onto the second principle, he explains the importance to smile in a heartwarming way because it will brighten the lives of those who see it. Dale then describes the importance to recall a person's name in the third principle. He gives tips on how to remember and then explains how people enjoy the sound of their own name. The fourth principle is about being a good listener and encouraging those to talk about themselves. He then goes onto to explain again that people are more interested in talking about themselves instead of others. He further explains this point in principle five: Talk in terms of the other person's interests. The final step is to sincerely make the other person feel important because this is the "deepest urge in human nature."

Dale describes in the third part of the book the steps to have a person think in terms of your own thoughts. He then explains that it is better to avoid arguments and to show respect for other people's opinions and never tell them they are wrong. because it will further push them away. If there is fault in your own behavior, Dale explains to immediately admit you're wrong without any doubts. If you are upset, he explains to sit down and counsel together, and if there are differences, understand it. Even in some differences, there will be points of agreement. He then explains the importance of agreement and having the person say "yes," at least twice. You doing this by looking into the other person's viewpoint and asking questions that cause them to agree. It is essential to have friends do the talking and have them excel us, instead of excelling them. When this occurs, they will feel important. To further the notion of feeling important, it is important to have the individual create their own ideas. He deepens this idea by asking questions such as, "Why should he or she want to do it?" and then being sympathetic towards their ideas. In order to catch a person's attention, you must dramatise the ideas you have. If all else fails, he explains the importance of competition and how it drives people to feel important and empowered to work efficiently and effectively.

In the final part of the book, Dale again discusses the importance of beginning with praise and honest appreciation. When someone makes a mistake, call to their mistakes indirectly. This can be done my making their mistakes your own and explaining the importance of fixing it and why it gave you a disadvantage. He then explains the importance of asking questions that direct the person you’re speaking to, to obtain your idea on their own. He emphasizes the importance of having the person be saved from embarrassment, and then explains the importance of praise again, even if it is small. Dale then gives examples of giving a person a reputation that makes them better, in order to have the person be motivated to improve. After giving someone a reputation to live up to, encourage the person to correct their faults and make them happy to do the actions you suggest.
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on June 11, 2017
This book has a few good points, but I could've lived without it.

-Many of the points are repeated throughout the book as there own chapters (the point of letting others speak has been brought up at least 5 times within the first half of the book).

-Vague characters and quotes are used to illustrate a point as if it is proved to be valid.

-Quotes or historical events are exaggerated to fit with the chapter. Just because Abraham Lincoln didn't criticize someone, doesn't mean that's why he is revered and well-liked; there are ALWAYS multiple factors.

This book reminds of me of 48 Laws of Power (which I recommend and like). I'm sure Robert Greene was influenced by Carnegie, or at least his writing style. However, Greene does it more effectively. That being said, How to Win Friends is more about manipulating people to like you and to have power in situations, even if it isn't overt. I did assume this book would be about friendly relationships, but it is much more about professional relationships, possibly romantic.
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on July 31, 2017
One of the best books I have ever read. The first time I saw someone reading this I thought perhaps they were shy, or quiet and needed a boost, but as I read it's pages it was hard to put down. Every single principle in this book denotes kindness, something our world could use a little more of. It's principles are timeless and well needed in every aspect of my life. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking to improve their social behavior and/or improve themselves.
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on December 31, 2014
Okay, so most of the findings of this book can be found online, but it was nice to have an actual copy of this book that I could highlight and use to refer back to every now and then. Some of the advice is very basic, common sense, sort of things, but some of it are things that we've forgotten and make all of the difference when applied.

I can't say it was life-changing, but I do keep this book with my other business related books and skim them over from time to time to refresh myself on basic relations. It helps. It's a good read before your first "real" job, or if you find yourself having trouble at work. For example, I often had troubles expressing my ideas and taking on more of a leadership role so this book did reinforce some good pointers for that.
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on December 5, 2016
Most of these books which fall under the umbrella of personal development are full of things we already know. But, reminders don't hurt! In fact, sometimes we really do need them.

If you're looking for some secret trick to "influence" people, you wont find it in this book. It's really just a breakdown of reaping what you sow, putting your best foot forward, and dealing with people in your environment to the tune of being productive. It's worth the read!
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on April 2, 2017
This is a great, classic text that is really just expounding upon the golden rule. It is a great tool to make sure that you're acting in a moral way that will not only help you win friends but also build character and sleep well at night. The book follows the typical claim - example - explanation format and it works incredibly well in this context. I always find myself in a better mood after a few pages of Dale Carnegie's seminal text.
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on March 28, 2016
No matter what your lot is in life, if you deal with people this book is an absolute must read. Some may say, "but it was originally written in 1937, and there have been many books that have been released since it's time". That statement is true, but that is what makes this book so incredibly important, even in the second decade of the 21st century...Many matters in how to deal with people have been long forgotten, and that makes this possibly more relevant than ever. This book is quite possibly the best "self-help" book; one that has zero fluff, and so much can be learned just from the first 3 or 4 chapters. I highly recommend!
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on November 27, 2014
Out of all the timeless, legendary and vitally important books like Think And Grow Rich that I want my kids to read, I think I would place this book above all the others. In fact, the strategies in this book are what Andrew Carnegie(who is written about in Think And Grow Rich) instinctively knew and did that was the main reason why he achieved legendary wealth and influence that exceeds even today's wealthiest billionaires. This book is about timeless truths of human nature, and when put in practice, open doors to success among influential people like no other. It will make you a better human being, your life will be the better for it, and you will find true happiness among your fellow man if you make these simple truths a daily part of your life. Beyond highly recommended!
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on September 10, 2013
This edition I believe is one of the last great editions, afterwards the publishing companies start editing the book to their liking taking out many of the authors original wording and concepts. This includes a great deal of the original text and how it was meant to be read. Buy this edition over any other edition.
The book it self is phenomenal. Read it exactly as Dale suggest you read the book, also take notes! This book is proving to be an invaluable resource and needs to be a staple book in every classroom in the world. Problems would disappear overnight just by being able to properly communicate with people. This book will take your level of communication understanding from where it is now to a whole new level of understanding and will leave you in complete awe.
Also pay extremely close attention to the authors of Dale Carnegie books as I have found that the Dale Carnegie association attempts to coerce readers into believing that Dale Carnegie himself wrote certain books when it was his organization that actually wrote them.
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