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on May 5, 2015
My Dad gave me a copy of this when I graduated highschool in the 90s but I wasn't "ready" for it yet, I don't even think I read it to be honest. Now I'm 37 and realizing that I've put my personal growth on the back burner for entirely too long. I had pretty much given up on making new adult friends. I had actually self-diagnosed myself with Asperger's because I was having such a difficult time trying to figure out why people (including myself) do the things that do. The realization that my marriage was being effected by my nearly empty toolbox of social skills promoted me to take personal responsibility and shoulder the blame myself for once instead of blaming everyone around me for everything. I grew up with a hypercritical Mother so I think I had promised myself that I would never be criticized again, even if that meant writing people off the instant I felt like I had made myself vulnerable enough to be hurt by them.

I couldn't find the copy that my dad gave me so I ordered a new one and chapter 1 alone is changing the way I look at EVERYTHING. I've been plagued with mild depression/anxiety for 20 years and I'm realizing that I've developed some unhealthy defense mechanisms to cope with these issues. I never turned to drugs or alcohol, but the fortress-like walls I've constructed to deal with criticism (real or perceived) aren't much better for me. I've re-read and taken notes on the first section of the book several times now and my wife is noticing and she seems quite relieved, i had no idea I could impact another persons life so strongly.

Like I said, I am only getting started with the book and it has already helped me enough to warrant a 5-star rating. This book has stood the test of time for a reason and I can see why now. The strategies are applicable to and helpful in all aspects of my life so far, from my marriage to my job, and even to the way I interact with clerks in gas stations. I've read numerous self help books in the past, seen a therapist for 3 years, been through the gauntlet of antidepressants, etc, and until now I thought I was wasting my time. I've been learning things all along, but I never learned how to actually apply the things I had learned until now. This book speaks my language and if your background sounds even remotely similar I have a feeling that you'll agree.
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on November 12, 2016
In my honest opinion, several principles in this book are repeated around the book. I don't see it as a disadvantage, because repetition is the key to learning. I did think several of the principles explained in the book are common sense, but I found that it could be easy for a person to react quickly to conflicts. This book has taught me the importance of staying in control and how beneficial it is to be in control of our behaviors and act in a way of service to others. The examples described in the book made it simpler to understand the concepts that Dale is teaching. I recommend this book if you would like to improve your skills with people. This book is especially beneficial for those who are working on their businesses and close relationships.

This book is divided into four parts. The first half of the book discusses techniques in handling people and how to have people like you. The final half of the book gives instructions about how to win people to our own thinking and how to be a leader by changing people without offending them or causing resentment.

In the first part of the book, it is divided into three principles. The first principle emphasizes the importance of avoiding criticism and he describes working with people as: working with people of logic. He further describes complaining and criticizing as a foolish task to do and how it takes a person of character to understand, forgive, and have self-control. Principle # 2 describes the importance of honest and sincere appreciation. Within this principle he describes the importance of ending our own thinking of accomplishments and desires. Instead, we must put our focus on the other person's good qualities. If being sincere, this will cause people to cherish them in their minds, even years later. The third principle involves influencing the other person to want, but not in a way that is manipulative. With this principle, he describes the importance of self-expression and connects it to the importance of thinking in terms of the other person, so that they come up with your ideas on their own, which they will like more.

Within the second part of the book, it teaches six principles. The first describes how critical it is to become interested in other people because you will make more friends compared to having others interested in you. When he moves onto the second principle, he explains the importance to smile in a heartwarming way because it will brighten the lives of those who see it. Dale then describes the importance to recall a person's name in the third principle. He gives tips on how to remember and then explains how people enjoy the sound of their own name. The fourth principle is about being a good listener and encouraging those to talk about themselves. He then goes onto to explain again that people are more interested in talking about themselves instead of others. He further explains this point in principle five: Talk in terms of the other person's interests. The final step is to sincerely make the other person feel important because this is the "deepest urge in human nature."

Dale describes in the third part of the book the steps to have a person think in terms of your own thoughts. He then explains that it is better to avoid arguments and to show respect for other people's opinions and never tell them they are wrong. because it will further push them away. If there is fault in your own behavior, Dale explains to immediately admit you're wrong without any doubts. If you are upset, he explains to sit down and counsel together, and if there are differences, understand it. Even in some differences, there will be points of agreement. He then explains the importance of agreement and having the person say "yes," at least twice. You doing this by looking into the other person's viewpoint and asking questions that cause them to agree. It is essential to have friends do the talking and have them excel us, instead of excelling them. When this occurs, they will feel important. To further the notion of feeling important, it is important to have the individual create their own ideas. He deepens this idea by asking questions such as, "Why should he or she want to do it?" and then being sympathetic towards their ideas. In order to catch a person's attention, you must dramatise the ideas you have. If all else fails, he explains the importance of competition and how it drives people to feel important and empowered to work efficiently and effectively.

In the final part of the book, Dale again discusses the importance of beginning with praise and honest appreciation. When someone makes a mistake, call to their mistakes indirectly. This can be done my making their mistakes your own and explaining the importance of fixing it and why it gave you a disadvantage. He then explains the importance of asking questions that direct the person you’re speaking to, to obtain your idea on their own. He emphasizes the importance of having the person be saved from embarrassment, and then explains the importance of praise again, even if it is small. Dale then gives examples of giving a person a reputation that makes them better, in order to have the person be motivated to improve. After giving someone a reputation to live up to, encourage the person to correct their faults and make them happy to do the actions you suggest.
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on January 18, 2018
The concepts are easy to use, basic, commonsense, courtesy techniques that do deliver results. This being my 2nd or 3rd time reading this. Last time 10+ yrs ago. I may not of learned anything new on this read, but it definitely brings all that, practical advice back to the forefront and primed for implementation. It definitely carries it weight, although if you read it once or twice before like me, there is a summary book out that may serve you better and obviously spare you the full explanations that I'm sure you'll recall instantly. Great book. If you haven't read it, you'll wanna go all in on this one.
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on July 2, 2017
This got to be the book that provided me with the most principles on how to win friends and influence people. Most of what is taught in the book should be common sense since it's so simple and most of us are actually taught to behave this way since we were kid, very few of us however actually put them to use. Dale Carnegie's book excel by showing us that humans really don't want much more than be appreciated. That is one thing I will never forget as time goes on.
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on August 25, 2017
I have only read to chapter 2 so far but wow. Just in those first 30 pages there is so much knowledge about dealing with people. I am glad I bought this book, it is honestly underpriced because it's much more valuable than what Amazon sells it for. If you're on the fence about buying this book, BUY IT. There is no way you can't learn atleast one concept in this book, apply it to your reality and witness how it enriches your life. I am 22 and in my senior year of college but I wish I read this 4 years ago when I graduated high school. It would've made a difference in how I dealt with certain people. Don't wish you had already read this in the future when you can read it NOW. I'd recommend this book to anybody and everybody.
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on July 8, 2016
The ideas and practices in this book have really improved my work ethic and my attitude. Practicing and applying these principles will get any person that is willing to learn and improve, a better sense of self, and even a promotion at work.
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on May 3, 2013
If you haven't read Dale Carnegie`s life changing book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, order is today!

"Be lavish in your praise and hearty in your approbation." Of course, be sincere in doing so. Even if you have something negative to say, apply the "sandwich theory" one of my directors in my organization is known well for applying. The sandwich theory basically means that if you have to deliver negative news, start out by offering up something positive about what the person is doing (the top layer of bread), then provide the substance of your talk (the meat), and finally, end off with saying something positive again (the bottom layer of bread).

William James once said that" the deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.". It was Emerson who said that "every man is superior to me in some way." Ford was famous for saying, "if there is any one secret to success, it lies in the ability to get to the other person's point of view to see things from that person's angle as well as the other way around."

What the message here? We all have the ability to positively influence someone else's life through words and deeds. You might think your comment is witty or clever by hiding behind your computer screen, but stop and reflect upon whether your message is positively impacting the person on the other end. Ask yourself if the other person will really change their point of view by your words. Or, are your words simply designed to be mean spirited and demeaning? If you want someone to change, you must learn the art of the sandwich theory. Learn that through kind words and actions - like opening a door for someone when they are not expecting it - can help change the world.

Your takeaway: Every day, strive to be a little better. Learn from others. Learn from mistakes. Be mindful and aware of what you did right and what you may have done wrong. If you need to, keep a journal. Use it as part of your weekly review. Most of all, just try to be a bit nicer!
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on September 8, 2015
The whole book makes so much sense. If everybody operated and behaved the way Carnegie proposes people ought to operate, our world would be a much better place than it is. Our world would be so far superior to what it is right now that it would not even be recognizable. I would pay good money to be able to operate the way Carnegie proposes people out to behave. I can only hope to become more like this book's example by reviewing the book repeatedly. I recommend this book to every human being!
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on September 4, 2016
Carnegie's solutions to social problems are utilized in part by motivational speakers like Jim Rohn and Grant Cardone. I find it hard to be a great salesperson bent on solving people problems and business pains without reading this book and becoming a better person first. Carnegie offers familiar scenarios and solutions which must require some internal effort to make real, and gain their locus of control in life. I would recommend referring to this book throughout all your life, giving it as a gift to loved ones, or as giveaways to your employees and associates.
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on May 12, 2016
You have to remember this book was written in 1936, The pretentious language is, by today's standards is over-the-top. That said, the stories are, corrected for the time warp, quite interesting. If you can put up with the 1920s bombast it is fun to read and on target in the general human relations advice. The shortest distance in human relations is not a straight line, in the 1920s or today..
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