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How to Raise an Adult Paperback – September 10, 2015

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Julie Lythcott-Haims (Author)
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Julie Lythcott-Haims (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars 200 customer reviews
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Product Details

  • Paperback
  • Publisher: Bluebird; Main Market Ed. edition (September 10, 2015)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1509818332
  • ISBN-13: 978-1509818334
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 1 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (200 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #692,917 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 starsBetter at discussing causes than outlining cures
By B. Case TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on June 9, 2015
Format: Hardcover
I’ve worked around college-aged kids my entire career. Like the author, I’ve increasingly become concerned about a large population of kids who appear to lack the ability to mature into full-fledged adults. I’ve assumed the cause was the growing trend of overprotective parenting (what many call helicopter parenting), but other than short articles in newspapers and magazines, I never taken the time to read anything more substantial. I hoped this book would provide me with that opportunity and it did…very nicely! Lythcott-Haims’ book is an excellent overview of the problem and a thoughtful collection of ideas designed to remedy the situation.

The book crosses genres: it’s both an in-depth research-journalism treatment of the problem, as well as a how-to guidebook outlining specific ways to help resolve it.

The first third of the book covers the problem from all angles: historical, sociological, cultural, psychological, and economic. Although there are extensive bibliographical notes at the end, the book covers these concepts in a style that demonstrates good journalism more than in-depth academic research. Well-educated readers will find the book easy to read, entertaining, and compelling. But it’s important to note that Lythcott-Haims is not a sociologist, nor is her book meant to be an academic treatise. She should probably be considered a concerned academic administrator who saw a significant problem in the college-aged population she served and it worried her enough (both as an administrator and as a recent parent) to investigate it further on her own and write a book about it.

The book is definitely aimed at well-educated and affluent parents.Read more ›
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5.0 out of 5 starsbut it turned out to be one of the best books that I've read in a while
By Nerdlicious on June 10, 2015
Format: Hardcover
I'd heard a lot about this book and picked it up–not necessarily knowing what exactly to expect, but it turned out to be one of the best books that I've read in a while! It's smart, well-researched, very readable, and full of comforting and practical advice for parents who are grappling with trying to find the right balance between being supportive without being overly controlling.

As a former teacher and a resident in one of the most competitive school districts in the country, I've seen first-hand the damage that overparenting and "helicopter parenting" can do, and Julie Lythcott-Haims' book provides a compelling, workable, un-preachy, and thoughtful approach to how to avoid this. In the crazy, pressure-cooker mix of raising kids, it's also incredibly comforting to have an alternative voice in the mix, one that is, at the same time, both pro-parent and pro-kid. I'm recommending it to my parent and teacher friends, as I think it's applicable to both.
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5.0 out of 5 starsA "modern" way to help your kids BE.
By Wendydiver on June 11, 2015
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I was born in the '40's, raised my kids in the '60's,'70's and '80's and now have grandchildren in their teens. Seeing the different parenting approaches over the years has given me the rear view mirror I wish I had while raising my children. Of course we all wish "we knew then what we know now." Learning through experience is the best way humans learn. Julie Lythcott-Haims makes this very important point. If we don't let our children learn by letting them experience the tribulations of life we are not doing our job, that is to prepare our children to become adults. Treating children as though they are puppets is not the answer. We do not have to pull the strings. At every age and every stage parents need to let go a little more so their kids, when the time comes will stand strong and be ready for each challenge they face.

I read the book because I love kids and am always interested in learning new ways to interact with them. Parents and grandparents take heed....nothing is guaranteed but this book gives you a way to not only ease up on your kids but also ease up on yourselves.
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3.0 out of 5 starsA Wake Up Call for American 0.1 Percenters
By David A. Thomas on August 25, 2015
Format: Hardcover
My perspective is that of a 52-year old Canadian professional with two kids, 16 and 12.

For those people who are well-informed on the topics of parenting and education, there aren't a lot of new ideas in Julie's book but she does a good job of putting all of the thoughts and concerns of other authors in one place (it has the feel of an author who is well-read on the subjects but who has limited original insights to offer). As the former Freshman Dean at Stanford, it isn't lost on her or the reader that she was part of a university entrance system that appears to be in need of a drastic overhaul. The herculean efforts required to get into brand name Ivy League schools appears to rob many kids of the fun that should be part of everybody's teen years. That an equally good education can be had at non brand name schools that are easier to get into is an interesting point and suggests that attending Harvard, Princeton, Stanford etc. is more about the value society attaches to these schools post-graduation rather than the molding of young minds.

I enjoyed the examples that are used throughout the book of parenting gone awry but it feels like they could have been drawn from a more diverse set of parents and students. It almost feels like Julie conducted interviews while standing on the sidelines of her kids' soccer games.

A good chunk of the book is targeted at people with an interest in the U.S. educational system, thus limiting its usefulness to me as a Canadian whose kids will likely attend a Canadian university. No doubt, there are highly sought after programs at highly sought after schools in Canada but thankfully, standardized test scoring such as the SAT is not a factor. Essays are creeping into the system but are still quite rare.Read more ›
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsI would recommend it as a must read for every parent

I would recommend it as a must read for every parent. Lythcott-Haims is realistic, insightful, and very honest (even when reflecting on her own parenting).

Published 9 days ago by CBG
5.0 out of 5 starsParents, Grandparents, Teachers & Counselors Need This Book

Wise, informative counsel from a woman whose experiences with young adults are shocking. Wake up, Helicopter Parents. YIKES!!

Published 1 month ago by Grammy
5.0 out of 5 starsA must read on how to sensibly raise your child

Good and thoughtful advice on how to raise a responsible child that isn't over coddled and unable to deal with adversity in the world. Read more

Published 1 month ago by Pitchayada Ruanglek
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

I really enjoyed this book it helped me understand why our youth are the way they are.

Published 1 month ago by Laurel Carter
5.0 out of 5 starsParenting philosophy?

This book really helped me to define my parenting philosophy. As the mother of a toddler, I know I have many years and unforseen challenges ahead of me, but thinking about the kind... Read more

Published 1 month ago by Sarah Woodward
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Excellent. Should have read it before...

Published 1 month ago by maria botran
5.0 out of 5 starsGreat parenting advice!

Terrific book that, frankly, all parents should read, in order to be better parents!

Published 1 month ago by Jill Lattmann
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Actual facts about how we are hurting our children by taking away from them their decision making power.

Published 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 starsGood book, misses a big part of the solution

Good book, clearly coming from the heart of a mother and educator but also well researched and written. Read more

Published 1 month ago by S. Bookworm
4.0 out of 5 starsFour Stars

Bought it for my daughters!

Published 2 months ago by Trudy Haranell

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