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Hunter and Seed (The Maker Mythos Book 1) Kindle Edition
|Length: 219 pages||Word Wise: Enabled||Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled|
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Top customer reviews
I awarded the author two stars because the premise caught my attention and the world building was also interesting. Whether or not this vision held up, I can't say, as I only made it through 22% of the book due to some of the sloppiest formatting I have encountered over years of sampling free ebooks.
Some of the annoyances were in the original manuscript formatting, such as inconsistent use of quotes, with comments from two characters presented on the same line, each within their own quotations, but without the slightest attribution other than what can be gleaned by tediously backtracking. This was not consistent. Some portions followed the traditional format of alternating paragraphs for dialog, making the alternate presentations glaringly obvious and distracting. Other errors may have been in the original manuscript or resulted from a fast and dirty conversion. These include erratic spacing between paragraphs, sometimes two spaces, sometimes more. This is beyond stylistic choice and betrays a lack of respect for the reader.
No matter how clever or original, concepts only benefit from clear and readable presentation. At 22% of the story, I had little connection with the main character or the world as presented. Too many fabricated words and outre concepts were presented too quickly. The fantasy universe was dryly described and not immersive. The omniscient narrator might have been a poor choice of voice, as it contributed to the feeling of being removed from the action, the universe and the character(s). Of the characters encountered by that point, I couldn't recognize distinct voices. They were all, male and female, human and other, cardboard cutouts and by that point, I was beyond irritation and verging on boredom.
The author mentions a history in gaming. This may be one of the problems, as lists of attributes do not suffice for description or encourage empathy.
I suggest a line and developmental editor, a professional and closely proofed conversion from manuscript to Kindle format, plus beta reads and reviews from non-gamers to bring this effort up to professional standards.