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Amy Koppelman

I Smile Back Paperback – December 1, 2008

by Amy Koppelman (Author)

73 ratings

3.1 on Goodreads

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“Koppelman mostly writes from inside Laney's disillusioned mind, ricocheting between the quotidian details of wife and motherhood and big-picture musings, forming exquisite stand-alone tone poems." —Elle

"[Koppelman's] brave and challenging look beyond appearances of beauty to the ugly reality of a disturbed mind will remain with readers long after they've finished the book." —Library Journal

"Amy Koppelman's I Smile Back is amazing. There's wit, speed, range, and complete authority here. Among other qualities, it has presence—you hold in your hands a pretty wild ride—and a novel as fascinating as this one seems destined to make its way to Hollywood. Read the book, instead: it's bound to be sharper, more moving, and flat-out better than any adaptation will be." —Darin Strauss

"Amy Koppelman probes deeply into the dark and cavernous recesses of a picture-perfect suburban mom, and emerges with one of the most terrifying novels I've read in ages. It's a glorious little explosion of a book." —Dani Shapiro

"Laney Brooks is a heroine on par with Joan Didion's Maria Wyeth. She captivates not only because she recognizes the darkness closing in around her, but because a part of her welcomes it." —David Benioff

In the follow-up to her acclaimed debut, A Mouthful of Air, which drew comparisons from critics to The Bell Jar and The Awakening, Amy Koppelman delivers an unrestrained statement on the modern suburban woman.

Laney Brooks acts out. Married with kids, she takes the drugs she wants, sleeps with the men she wants, and disappears when she wants. Lurking beneath Laney’s composed surface is the impulse to follow in the footsteps of her father, to leave and topple her family’s balance in the process.

Print length

194 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Two Dollar Radio
Publication date

December 1, 2008
Dimensions

5.3 x 0.6 x 7.6 inches
ISBN-10

0976389592
ISBN-13

978-0976389590
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This crushing novel by the author of A Mouthful of Air is a shocking portrait of suburban ennui gone horribly awry. Laney Brooks, approaching middle age in Short Hills, N.J., appears to have it all: doting husband, two beautiful children, the big house with a kidney-shaped pool. But beneath the facade of upper-middle-class perfection, Laney's life descends into a chasm of indiscriminate sex and drug and alcohol abuse. Koppelman's prose style is understated and crackling; each sentence is laden with a foreboding sense of menace, whether she's describing a sunny Florida resort or the back alley of a seedy strip mall. Laney's self-debasement can be a bit over-the-top at times, but like a crime scene or a flaming car wreck, it becomes impossible not to stare. (Dec.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Laney, beautiful, married with two children and a seemingly fine suburban life, feels only impending doom shadowing her and everyone else’s life. She finishes many sentences in her mind with “and then you die,” and comes to know that “nothing bad needs to happen for her to feel sad.” So she misbehaves: drinks too much, uses drugs, and sleeps around. Her husband, ever patient, copes and sends her to rehab, but nothing connects or fills the hole left by her father’s abandonment long ago. She always expects failure and loss. Koppelman has visited this area before with a more sympathetic character in A Mouthful of Air (2003). Koppelman’s writing is expressive and nuanced, so the reader recognizes Laney’s pain, but doesn’t feel it. And perhaps that is the point. Her separation from everyone, even the reader, is her strongest characteristic. Her aloneness gives her the distance she both wants and fears. Therefore this potent novel is captivating in the way watching a car wreck might be. It is not easy or comfortable or for the faint of heart. --Danise Hoover

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Two Dollar Radio (December 1, 2008)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 194 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0976389592
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0976389590
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 7.8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.3 x 0.6 x 7.6 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #4,232,019 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #156,533 in Literary Fiction (Books)
- #165,520 in American Literature (Books)

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73 ratings

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Amy Koppelman

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Amy Koppelman is a graduate of Columbia's MFA program. Her writing has appeared in The New York Observer and Lilith. She lives in New York City with her husband and two children, and is the author of the novels, A Mouthful of Air and Hesitation Wounds.

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Top reviews from the United States

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Not So Happy Housewife

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 29, 2008

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Warning: This book is exceptionally sexually explicit. The details fit the character, but the novel is not for the squeamish. "I Smile Back" is a spare, odd book, written in a modern-style with a modern, twisted story. The protagonist, Laney, has more problems than the average suburban mom: drugs, alcoholism, a propensity for self-destruction, numerous, numbing affairs. Still, the reader keeps hoping for Laney to see the light, to see the love her children have for her, the bright hope they represent. Kellerman's style, though sleek and witty, is also beautiful and apt: "If the castle is hope, memory is the moat that surrounds it." From page to page, the reader never knows if Laney will turn things around or go under for the final time. This is not a happy hockey mom story. It is vivid, and probably, far too true.

11 people found this helpful

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Chrissi Sepe

A Truly Impressive Read If You're Brave Enough

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 9, 2016

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Amy Koppelman's “I Smile Back” is the story about what goes on inside the mind of Laney who lives in Short Hills, New Jersey, with her husband, Bruce, and their two small kids, Eli and Janey. Laney leads a privileged life but doesn't know what she should be doing with it. It's not how she imagined it would be – or actually, it is exactly how she imagined it would be – but she thought she would be happier. These thoughts cause her to reject living in the present and instead to dwell on the past. She wants to recapture the magic and comfort he felt as a child but only during the days before her father abandoned her and left the family for good.

Laney lives her days plagued with feelings of anxiety and is consumed with the notion of death. I was able to relate to many of Laney's thoughts as I've often been an extremely phobic person since childhood. Once my daughter was born, these issues skyrocketed. After years of being consumed with concerns over my own mortality, suddenly I gave birth to someone that I loved more than my own life, and now there was something that had complete control over me. When you feel too much and too deeply, this in turn, can lead you to feeling nothing. The fear of loss can become so great, you have a self-protective instinct to be the first to sabotage it. This is what I believe drives Laney to act out through casual sexual affairs and drugs.

“I Smile Back's” stream of consciousness narrative plunges the reader directly into Laney's mind, and that's why I loved the book's style. I didn't want to be bogged down with extraneous info involving mundane settings and minor characters. I wanted to be inside of Laney's mind to understand these feelings because when you have this type of anxiety, it drives you all day, every day, and what is going on around you is just in the background. Your fears are first and foremost. “I Smile Back's” unique voice demonstrates this perfectly. It is the only way to tell Laney's story. Amy Koppelman's relaying of Laney's thoughts while interacting with her young daughter complements the book's theme of hopelessness:

“Like tonight I was baking a cake with Janey and she was upset that it wasn't perfect and I wanted to tell her not to worry about it – that it didn't matter because nothing matters. We're all going to die. And when we're dead no one will ever know we ever made this cake.”

Another of my favorite quotes from the book confirms how it I Laney's all-consuming love for her children that fuel her feelings of dread and her fears:

“Frankly, at the end, Laney won't be thinking of Bruce, or Eli for that matter, but of Janey's arms. As they are now. Wrapped tightly around her mother's neck. The little girl clings. Laney pretends this doesn't frighten her. She'll be here long enough. To see Janey marry? Have a baby? When would be a safe time for Laney to close her eyes, fade to black?”

Not only is the need to escape constant in Laney's mind but also the need to make amends with her father. She harbors a tremendous amount of anger towards him but also still wants his love. But Laney is not mentally stable throughout the book so these normal desires get translated into a need to surprise her father and to frighten his very young, almost six-year-old daughter who is Laney's half sister. On her way there, she fantasizes about ruining her father's new family and how this is what his new daughter can anticipate happening to her as well. But as is often the case, Laney keeps her darkest thoughts to herself and, as the title says, she just smiles. Instead, she secretly steals the wooden father figure from her half sister's dollhouse and puts it in her purse. I thought this was a brilliant image of a grown-up daughter's need to hold onto her father all for herself. It reminded me of that scene in the 1980's TV drama, “Dynasty” when another wealthy and spoiled daughter, Fallon, bites the heads off the bride and groom from her father's and soon-to-be stepmother's wedding cake.

I found “I Smile Back” an impressive read as an example of what the pressures of trying to be mature while dealing with feelings of dread and a tremendous amount of past emotional baggage can do to a hypersensitive and fragile woman. But it is an extreme example which is often needed in art to get the point across when matters like these are buried deep inside most of us because they are unpleasant and unproductive. The feelings Laney has are all valid even though she acts on them in destructive ways. We are not supposed to be able to completely identify with Laney – she is a metaphor. If we're not given such a disturbing, no holds barred, picture, I don't think any of us would ever be able to push these thoughts to the surface and try to deal with them head-on. Growing up is hard. Being responsible is harder. And making the transition from cherished daughter to competent mother is the hardest of all:

“Deliver me,” Laney slurs to the silent fear that contains her. She is, no longer, special.”

I highly recommend “I Smile Back” to readers who aren't afraid to face all those unpleasant feelings that lurk inside us but, when faced, teach us how to appreciate the beauty in our present lives as best we can.

8 people found this helpful

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savvy

bummer book

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 3, 2015

Verified Purchase

i didn't like it, i forced my way through it, i think mostly i just could not relate at all to this book, depressing and bleak. I'm still going to watch the movie tho, i heard sarah silverman was really good in it. but the book no, i hated it. its about a spoiled b who doesn't know why she can't be happy and hurts the ones she loves and looks at the world around her as something ugly and distant. and the writing is really choppy. idk.

2 people found this helpful

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Mr. Potter

Wow. Depression and Addiction without the Hollywood Fluff

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 15, 2020

Verified Purchase

Hollywood loves to act like they are so honest about addiction and alcoholism, but the reality is that most movies are a variant of "Days of Wine and Roses" made way back when in 1962 starring Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick.

Boy meets Girl. Life is Great. Somebody is drinking too much. Somebody is drinking WAY too much. Oh Ohhh - Train Wreck. The Good Life unravels. Humiliation, Shame and Treatment. Relapses are Plentiful. Everyone is scarred but... perhaps, one day at a time, they can build a new life out of the ashes.

Don't get me wrong. I just watched "Days" a couple months ago. It's a landmark film. It's just that the Greenhouse scene has defined the dramatic arc of the "addiction" genre and everyone seems to make some version of the same film over and over.

Not Sarah Silverman. This is a gutsy, tough, almost frightening film. This tells the story of someone who is seriously addicted and emotionally scarred. This film does an excellent job of exploring the "risk taking" part of addiction. Are addicts also addicted to risk? Or is risk just a by-product of Addiction? It makes you wonder and this film will make you cringe as she pushes the boundaries way, way out there many times.

Don't watch this with the In Laws, but do watch it when you're in the mood for some serious mature content tackling a complex medical / social issue in a stark and unflinching way.

WARNING: This movie contains sexual scenes and situations that are definitely uncomfortable. If your spouse or partner is likely to be offended by some very, very explicit sexual themes then you might screen it yourself. Also, this film deals with infidelity in a painful way so if that's sore point, again... might stay up late and check it out before you make this your "date might" movie.

One person found this helpful

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